When Your Date’s Apartment Sucks | CH Shorts
(electronic music) – Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi.
– Sweetie. – Hey. – Thank you so much
for meeting me at work. – Yeah, of course. Are we all good? – We are good to go, let’s head on home. – Yeah, let me just text my roommate, and tell them that we are on our way. – Are we doing your place or my place? – Oh, uh we could do either. – Oh, yeah, your place, my place, whichever, yeah the,
there’s two apartments. I can do either one. – Great, me too. – Doh, doh, doh, doh, doh. Do you still have that mouse problem? – Oh, no, no, no. – Cool. – The carbon monoxide
leak just killed them all. So, yeah, now we have rats. – Ah. – Yeah. – Oh, okay. So if you have rats at your place, maybe we do– – Oh, totally, totally. – Sure.
– Yeah. Except that we’ve spent
the last two nights at your place.
– Right. – And I feel like we’ve never spent… The night at my place. – Totally, totally,
totally, totally, totally. – So we should– – Let’s see which one’s farther away. – Oh wow, they are equidistant
from this very point. Wow, that is unlikely, right? – Yeah, you’d think one would be closer, but they’re the exact same. – Yeah. (laughs) – I just remembered something. My roommate got in touch with me. He cooked two full dinners
and he couldn’t eat them. So they’re just waiting at my apartment. He said that we could have them. – Wait, hold on, why
can’t he eat his own food? – Emergency, he got called into work at the Michelin-star
restaurant where he cooks. – Oh. – Yeah.
– Well this is a puzzler, huh? (laughs)
– What are we gonna do? – Yeah. (laughs) Oh, I have food at my place. – What do you have? – I have a Ziploc bag full of oats. (laughs) And some nasty bread. – All right, well. – Yeah. – We both have food. – Oh, man, what’re we gonna do? – Cool, cool, cool.
– Yeah. – Oh, what’s the parking
like at your spot? – Oh, yeah, so the riots
haven’t stopped yet. But if you just go like
a coupla hundred blocks, there is definitely like a
spot or two just somewhere, so. – Hell, yeah. – Yeah, wait how’s the
parking at your place? – It’s pretty good at my spot. – Oh, sure, but you have
that new parking ordinance. – Yes, there is a new parking ordinance. The city actually pays you
to park in my neighborhood because all the available spots
were a safety concern, so. – Oh. – Yeah. – No, I don’t understand that. – Yeah, it doesn’t make sense. – Oh, no. Oh, I have to feed my cats. – Oh, that’s right. How are they doing? – Oh, yeah, terrible. – Oh no. – They’re stress pooping everywhere ever since they won oldest at the county fair. – Ugh, oh, God, poor little guys. – Yeah. – Very cool that the
county fair splits an award between six cats. – Oh, nope. (meowing) – Ah, another one. – Seven. This stray just
sort of wandered right into the hole in my bedroom wall, so. – Oh, the hole, the one that lets in the freezing cold
air from the dark alley where your drunk scary
neighbors yell all the time. – That is the one. – I know it well. – Yeah, oh my God, but don’t worry, you can’t hear those neighbors anymore. No, no, no, they started
like building this skyscraper next door so you can’t hear anything. They’re just like (imitates
jackhammer drilling) great, it’s great. (laughs) Okay, all right, fine just, fine, fuck it, we will go
back to your apartment, okay? Just fuck it, Jesus Christ, Brennan. (sighs) – Sweetie, I’m really sorry. I never want to make you feel bad about where you live. I have a nice apartment,
but that doesn’t matter. It’s only fair that we
spend the same amount of time at both of our
places, and I’m sorry. Let’s spend the night at your place. – Thank you. Really, I appreciate that. – Do you still have that roommate who flies into violent seizures if he hears people having sex? – Oh, yeah but he’ll be on
the porch selling bath salts all night, and he’s probably
not even gonna hear us over the sound of my
cats blasting hot shit all over your shoes. And toothbrush. – Rad, rad, rad, rad, rad, rad. Hey, guys, this is Brennan
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