| by Kenneth Chase | 100 comments

The ‘Full House’ When D.J. Almost Starved Herself To Death


(crash) (slow gentle theme music) – [Narrator] Kimmy invites
D.J. to a pool party to celebrate her 14th birthday. D.J.’s concerned because unlike Kimmy, she’s
insecure about her body and won’t feel comfortable
in a bathing suit until she looks like this insane picture on the
cover of a made-up magazine. D.J. says she only has
two weeks to get skinny, and the diet starts now by
throwing these cookies away. She asks Kimmy how she stays so thin, and Kimmy demonstrates. It’s a casual mix of waste bins
and watching what she eats. D.J.’s taping half naked
models to the family fridge when Becky comes home. She says looking at these models is thin-spiration, to stay out of the fridge. Aunt Becky tries to tell
her about healthy food she can still enjoy. D.J. says she’s not trying to
think about any food at all. Becky says what really matters is keeping junk food out of the house. Uncle Jesse shows up
with a huge box of cake. D.J.’s not phased by the cake, and announces she’s going to enjoy this delicious and savory
water-pop she made herself. Jesse’s doing wedding research, and got enough cake samples
to murder a diabetic pothead. They invite D.J. to
join the frosted feast, but she says she’s fine sucking
this ice cube on a stick that even kids in third
world countries might see and say, “Yeah, no.” Michelle goes ham on that cake. D.J.’s frustrated, she only
lost half a pound in two days. Jesse says all she needs to
do to lose weight is work out, and they can all go to the gym and work out as a big family this weekend because that’s a normal thing
families do all the time. Danny makes D.J. a sandwich,
and tells her to eat up because they’re about to hit the gym. D.J. says she’s skipping lunch, and asks Kimmy if she wants the sandwich. Kimmy says it’s a ham sandwich, again, and she’s been eating her
lunch for three straight days, and doesn’t want another ham sammy. Stephanie overhears the sammy talk, and adds D.J.’s also been
skipping breakfast and dinner for three days straight, and doesn’t understand
how she’s still alive, on account of you need
to eat things not to die. D.J. promises to eat her sandwich, then promptly feeds that crap to the dog. D.J. says Comet is lucky because dogs don’t have
to wear bathing suits. Stephanie makes this face because she realizes
her sister is a dummy. Stephanie busts D.J. for
lying about the sandwich, and D.J. lies again, saying
Comet snatched it from her. Steph busts her for lying a
second time about the snatching, and when D.J. says she wasn’t
lying those last two times, Steph busts her for lying a
third time about the lies, which honestly feels a little nitpicky. D.J. tells Steph she has one week to look good in a bathing suit, and after that week, she’ll resume eating. But in that time, when D.J. will certainly
die from not eating, Steph has to pinky swear
she won’t tell anyone about her plan to starve to death. Steph reluctantly pinky sears to keep this slow suicide a secret. The fam goes to the gym, featuring a plethora of oiled
up muscle heads and women with thin strips of neon fabric
wedged up their assholes. D.J. wants to know the
best way to burn calories, those things she hasn’t had in days. Danny points her to a bike, and tells her to start slow at level one. D.J. does not have time
for that level one nonsense and takes that shit straight to level seventy god-damn five, what you know about it. The guys go with Michelle
for a cute B storyline. It’s Michelle doing cute workout stuff in cute workout clothes. It’s a real cute pallet cleanser from the harsh reality that a 14 year old they bailed on is about
to drop dead upstairs. Meanwhile, D.J. hits a new machine like she’s dying of cancer,
and this thing has the cure. Becky tells the guys to
join her in aerobics class. They say no way because it’s 1990 and (scoffs) aerobics? Until they see some of those women with fabric in their booty cracks and decide they’ll give this
aerobics a thing a fair shake, ignoring D.J. in the corner, about to have a goddamn heart attack. Aerobics class is whatever, who cares. The guys just post in the
back and look at butt cheeks. The aerobics teacher moves
these perverts to the front, and they start flailing around because they’re out of shape. It’s hilarious if you
have no sense of humor. Stephanie says D.J. has to
see this very bland spectacle. D.J. says she’ll be right there, and falls down faster than a
folding chair in a hurricane. She says she’s okay, and
just got a little dizzy because she overdid it. It meaning everything
except eating anything. Stephanie is sad her
sister’s about to die. D.J. comes down, saying she’s well rested, and nobody’s buying it. Joey said he made chicken parm, and invites her to taste the sauce. D.J. says she can’t taste the sauce because she just brushed her teeth, even though she definitely didn’t because toothpaste would
borderline count as food. D.J. starts yelling because she’s hangry, and says she’s going to dinner at Kimmy’s. Stephanie stops her because she realizes a pink
swear isn’t legally binding. She reveals D.J. hasn’t
eaten in three days. Her family warns her that
what she’s doing is dangerous because she’s riding a bus with no breaks to Crankyville that
ultimately will drop her off with her dead mom in hell. Danny runs after D.J. to console her with a boring story about
how he had body issues when he was young because he’s tall as
shit and lanky as hell, but it doesn’t matter, because your real friends
will like you no matter what, at least at this age before they start picking
friends based on things like who has a car, who has drugs, and who’d like you’d maybe
eventually sleep with. Danny makes D.J. promise she’s going to eat healthy and exercise. Then he takes her hungry ass downstairs. So what did we learn today? Food isn’t just some shit that’s stopping your
fridge from floating away. You actually need to eat
it in order to survive, and if you don’t eat food
for several consecutive days, you’re going to majorly fuck
your shit up, and maybe die. But if you know people around
you are watching their weight, don’t eat cookies out of
the trash in front of them or taunt them with a cake buffet or drag them to gym full
of impossibly fit extras when all they need is a gentle reminder that everyone’s miserable all the time, and the only thing you
can ever do about it is shove chicken parm in your mouth with people you care about. And if you see your
deliriously hungry sister talking to dogs about bathing suits, don’t wait until the brink of death to save her life because
her designated guardians will be too busy looking at butt cheeks to realize something’s horribly wrong. See you next time on a
Very Special Episode. (bell rings) (hinge creaks)

100 Comments

Mary Alnmir

Nov 11, 2019, 4:00 am Reply

Dude I couldn’t go on a diet for one hour and I’m hella skinny idk why I EAT EVERY 30 MIN LIKE YDNDHIRJ

Orobus

Nov 11, 2019, 9:00 am Reply

You uhh… You can't even die from not eating for a week though.

Vineet Honkan

Nov 11, 2019, 9:46 pm Reply

Someone finally called them out for being pervs standing in the back looking at butts

Areeba K

Nov 11, 2019, 2:58 am Reply

“DJ does not have time for that level one nonsense and takes that shit to level 70-God damn-5 whatcha know about it” omg 😭😂

Sophie Parker

Nov 11, 2019, 4:03 pm Reply

Why did I find this so funny

Mary Alnmir

Nov 11, 2019, 2:18 am Reply

“Michelle goes ham on the cake”

How did he say this without laughing

Cameron Martinez

Nov 11, 2019, 8:24 pm Reply

ham!!! sandwiches are delicious!!!

Emma Bobby

Nov 11, 2019, 1:48 pm Reply

i loveeee this guy ahahah

Jordan Sim

Nov 11, 2019, 3:46 am Reply

I know that this episode of full house was supposed to be serious but after watching this i can't stop laughing 😂😂😂🤣

нεηтαι

Nov 11, 2019, 12:24 am Reply

Diabetic Pothead 💀💀

Fandom Queen JK

Nov 11, 2019, 12:42 am Reply

Love these! Please tell me when's the next one, there hasn't been one in weeks ):

evrbody

Nov 11, 2019, 1:28 pm Reply

The inspiration for Mary-Kate Olsen's adult lifestyle.

That and, you know, heroin.

Kate Marie

Nov 11, 2019, 5:43 am Reply

YOU CAN GO 30 DAYS WITHOUT EATING 🤦🏻‍♀️

pegasusgalaxy68

Nov 11, 2019, 6:44 am Reply

voice over not necessary..totally crap voice over..leaving

Math Masterman

Nov 11, 2019, 10:10 pm Reply

I’m the other way around, I’m too light

Nay Nay

Nov 11, 2019, 6:27 am Reply

Dude, are you my long lost twin 'cause I think I found my other half😂😂

Tonya Wood

Nov 11, 2019, 4:53 am Reply

😂

That one Pansexual

Nov 11, 2019, 4:58 pm Reply

She is a little anorexic

x y

Nov 11, 2019, 5:04 pm Reply

lori going to jail

Jana Prpić

Nov 11, 2019, 2:30 pm Reply

This voiceover is something else

Unmasked Victim

Dec 12, 2019, 12:48 am Reply

I stopped after that dead mom comment

Wattup _

Dec 12, 2019, 3:09 am Reply

This guy's a jack… You can't take him seriously

Celia R

Dec 12, 2019, 3:10 am Reply

Michelle goes ham, on that cake

falloutgirl902

Dec 12, 2019, 4:06 pm Reply

“DJ does not have time for that level 1 nonsense and takes that shit to level g damn five whatd’a know about it.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

fearanarchy

Dec 12, 2019, 2:23 am Reply

I keep forgetting… I had those sheets.
Wait… can you take kids into gyms to workout?

ANYWAYS….
#1 Attractive female, wholesome, remodel is still Topenga. Sorry, no contest.

Johnny Utah

Dec 12, 2019, 6:22 am Reply

Her dead mom in hell…….had me bustin out laughing

Pansexual Pride

Dec 12, 2019, 10:32 pm Reply

Y'all. If you don't eat for three days. Your pale weak dizzy and angry.

Barbara B

Dec 12, 2019, 5:27 am Reply

Oh my gosh I remember this episode!

Patrick Marsh

Dec 12, 2019, 1:04 pm Reply

The writer is really trying to say everyone killed themselves at the end lol

Elena Ruh

Dec 12, 2019, 8:32 pm Reply

I don't think it is that funny to call someone in danger of developing an eating disorder a dummy, I know it is a show but some people are suffering this for real, and some people really do have problems with eating and understanding that food is necessary.

Catrin Nowaczek

Dec 12, 2019, 9:54 pm Reply

Starving yourself to death is going to the hospital and your period stopping.

Lilly Hall

Dec 12, 2019, 7:58 pm Reply

“stephanie is sad her sister is about to die” 😂

Samiyah Mosley

Dec 12, 2019, 9:07 pm Reply

“Then he takes her hungry ass down stairs.”
When I tell you I died😭

Payton Owens

Dec 12, 2019, 4:52 am Reply

"Takes her hungry ass downstairs"😂😂😂😂

JSA

Dec 12, 2019, 5:16 am Reply

This was the best recap of this episode😂😂😂

Cory Thompson

Dec 12, 2019, 9:32 pm Reply

Maybe aunt Becky should have just paid the people at the pool party off to pretend she was skinny

Tee Rose

Dec 12, 2019, 12:09 am Reply

This episode is so sad and relevant

Kalee Johnson

Dec 12, 2019, 7:17 am Reply

"Until they see some of those women with fabric in their booty cracks"

I'm alright, just dying of laughter XD

Soheil Ahghari

Dec 12, 2019, 8:49 pm Reply

natural selection

Dakoda Koda

Dec 12, 2019, 12:18 am Reply

I hate how this person keeps saying shit and hell and all different words Like that

Libby Phillips

Dec 12, 2019, 9:13 pm Reply

Omfg lol his soo funny

Mia I

Dec 12, 2019, 9:13 pm Reply

Dj can have my body then if she thinks she’s fat 😭

headass steph

Dec 12, 2019, 1:02 am Reply

2:21 bahahah

Gesaly Gastelum

Dec 12, 2019, 4:42 am Reply

"majorly fuck your shit out"

Optimus Prime

Dec 12, 2019, 3:01 pm Reply

“At least at this age. Before they start picking friends based on who has a car, who has drugs, and who you eventually want to sleep with.” Damn that is true right there.

Cordelia’s Gacha

Dec 12, 2019, 9:18 pm Reply

I watched this as a kid, not understanding what it was, never did I think that I would actually be in that exact same situation….

Lucy McKerr

Dec 12, 2019, 10:44 pm Reply

Her designated guardians will be too busy looking at butcheeks to realise somethings wrong 😂😂😂😂

Rohan Khubchandani

Dec 12, 2019, 1:32 am Reply

“That’ll ultimately drop her off with her dead mom in hell”

Selena Ortega

Dec 12, 2019, 3:05 am Reply

Ngl Danny has nice hair in that episode (I don’t mean Jesse)

BeautifulUnicorn Sydney

Dec 12, 2019, 4:47 am Reply

4:17 when you said that my sister started laughing but not at this but it was faith 😂 jkjk

ALDC Central

Dec 12, 2019, 4:10 pm Reply

Ok, you can go multiple weeks without food and this was only a few days so it’s not like she would die after only a few days. It is very unhealthy and will make you sick though

Humble Brown

Dec 12, 2019, 3:10 am Reply

Stephanie makes this face because she realise her sister is a dumb ass

Jake Rico

Dec 12, 2019, 7:44 pm Reply

You’re mean

Cynthia Young

Dec 12, 2019, 9:57 pm Reply

Your delerious sister..talking to dogs about bathing suits!! Haha!!!

Grace Oliver (STUDENT)

Dec 12, 2019, 3:54 am Reply

“ that will ultimately drop her off with her dead mom in hell”
😬😬😮 Is it bad that I laughed really hard at this

Art Cisneros

Dec 12, 2019, 3:50 am Reply

It’s called fasting 😂

Sabrina Mesa

Dec 12, 2019, 10:56 am Reply

Stephanie's a narc. The end.

Tiffany Santourian

Dec 12, 2019, 8:44 pm Reply

“Michelle goes ham on that cake”
Well that’s our Michelle 😂

Cstmeister !

Dec 12, 2019, 8:07 pm Reply

This guy is funny as hell

Cameron McLaughlin

Dec 12, 2019, 10:52 pm Reply

Ik you’re trying to make people laugh but really this is real life and this stuff happened and it is serious. Not something to laugh abt

Princess Marlena

Dec 12, 2019, 1:23 am Reply

I make exercise and proper diet pillars of my life, so I don’t have to worry about a deadline for looking good in a swimsuit or an outfit with a thin strip of fabric wedged up my butt, I can wear those anytime.

i’m getting cheese fries

Dec 12, 2019, 4:40 am Reply

the mom is in hell? i just learned something.

Michelle I

Dec 12, 2019, 6:13 am Reply

“Then he takes her hungry ass downstairs” 😂😂😂😂😂

Stephanie Olivarez

Dec 12, 2019, 2:32 am Reply

"stephanie is sad her sister is about to die" 😂

Travis S

Dec 12, 2019, 6:01 am Reply

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Joel Lyons

Dec 12, 2019, 8:36 pm Reply

I wish I could slide in aunt Becky's Dm

Dontrez Kinney

Jan 1, 2020, 6:57 pm Reply

Drop her off with her dead mom in hell.

Raven Burks

Jan 1, 2020, 4:58 pm Reply

Why did I find it funny when he said “he took her hungry ass downstairs” 😂

King Eric

Jan 1, 2020, 6:26 pm Reply

“ Stephanie makes this face, because she realizes her sister is a dummy”

Unicorn squad

Jan 1, 2020, 6:46 pm Reply

Funny or die sucks but full house doesn’t

Hanna Patterson

Jan 1, 2020, 4:01 am Reply

You are a very rude and very very very annoying

My Name Is Sarah

Jan 1, 2020, 5:09 pm Reply

The sad thing is, Candace Cameron-Bure really did have an eating disorder in her early twenties because Hollywood considered her to be fat.
Totally not true.

Jenn Jones

Jan 1, 2020, 5:32 am Reply

Yeah, and Danny trying to relate to dj the pudgester telling her how it was hard for him growing up looking like a damn string bean will help her 😂 going to meet her mom in hell that was great 💕 I love these vids I'm late getting here!

imthewatcher100

Jan 1, 2020, 7:46 am Reply

"Danny runs after DJ to console her with a boring story about how he had body issues when he was young, because he's tall as shit and lanky as hell."
Fact: Bob Saget did have issues with his body. He was 22 when he was overweight. It wasn't until he almost died from getting his appendix taken out, that he lost the weight.

Luis _

Jan 1, 2020, 5:06 pm Reply

Kimi gt a body tho

Yesnia Guadalupe Garcia martinez

Jan 1, 2020, 7:05 pm Reply

So we're going to ignore the fact that 0:06 kimmy's outfit kinda looks like eleven outfit from stranger things

Daniel Barwatt

Jan 1, 2020, 9:18 pm Reply

This dudes quips are something else 😂

Ladenna Young

Jan 1, 2020, 9:06 am Reply

Move these perverts to the front of the class.

Ladenna Young

Jan 1, 2020, 9:06 am Reply

I think Candace Cameron was anorexic in real life.

Troy Mcdivitt

Jan 1, 2020, 6:06 pm Reply

You can go a while without eating i use to go a week at least without food i am still alive

dr0wn

Jan 1, 2020, 6:30 pm Reply

" With a boring story about how he had body issues when he was young. Because he's tall as shit and lanky as hell. "
IM CRYINGG 😂🤧

Conchita G

Jan 1, 2020, 6:34 pm Reply

This show was always boring and bland you made it entertaining as hell.

Helloworld 95

Jan 1, 2020, 6:29 am Reply

Steph should've just told her dad immediately no matter if they pinky swore or not. D.J. shouldn't be doing this to her body

Matiana Santos

Jan 1, 2020, 9:22 am Reply

Becky and Jesse was the most attractive couple in the 90s 😂

Anakiya Creates

Jan 1, 2020, 11:47 pm Reply

I’m sorry but the “almost starved herself to death” title has me dead 😂😂

Tracy G

Jan 1, 2020, 10:28 pm Reply

Water pop

Tracy G

Jan 1, 2020, 10:30 pm Reply

Lol level 1 nonsense

Hello

Jan 1, 2020, 5:22 am Reply

3:57 Jesus he went in

The Man From The Dark Side

Jan 1, 2020, 4:19 pm Reply

BJ’s hair is sooo gawjus 😍

kaitlynne spivey

Jan 1, 2020, 5:36 pm Reply

“A boring story”😂🤣🤣🤣

Brandy Y.

Jan 1, 2020, 3:54 am Reply

Fasting is actually the best way to lose weight

Emily Jeffords

Jan 1, 2020, 2:41 pm Reply

Technically, you can go three weeks without anything to eat, three days without water, and three minutes without air.

Cory Palmer

Jan 1, 2020, 10:30 pm Reply

Zack Morris is trash😂😂😂

multitudeofidols

Jan 1, 2020, 2:20 am Reply

"It's hilarious if you have no sense of humour." That could be said of a lot of the show's "jokes."

Captain Barrett Coldyron

Jan 1, 2020, 2:32 pm Reply

“It’s hilarious if you have no sense of humor.” This pretty much sums up the entire run of Full House.

Neal Jaworski

Jan 1, 2020, 10:30 pm Reply

She would have lost 10 pounds just from a haircut

Holly M

Jan 1, 2020, 5:03 am Reply

Okay this isn’t funny but I’m geeking tf out

YeahOkayCertainly

Jan 1, 2020, 11:01 pm Reply

“Yeah I’ll starve myself I guess”

Ok.

Clay Soggyfries

Jan 1, 2020, 12:47 am Reply

I guess diets didn’t exist back then

Tim Van Boening

Jan 1, 2020, 6:40 am Reply

I remember watching this episode. Aunt Becky recommends eating chicken with the skin removed. Weird take-away to remember about the episode, but there it is.

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