| by Kenneth Chase | 100 comments

Key & Peele – Pawn Shop


[rapid knocking on door] [buzzer] – HEY, MAN.
HOW YOU DOING? YOU GUYS GOT BOW AND ARROWS? – YEAH. – OH, YEAH.
OH, THAT’S IT. YEAH, THERE IT IS.
THERE. THAT’LL DO IT.
THAT’S GONNA DO IT. YUP.
WHERE ARE THE ARROWS AT? [clears throat] YEAH.
YOU GOT–YOU GUYS GOT M80s? – WE DON’T CARRY FIREWORKS. – DAMN!
YOU HAVE, UH– YOU HAVE SOMETHING ELSE
THAT’S EXPLOSIVE THAT I COULD TAPE
TO THE END OF AN ARROW? – WE HAVE SHOTGUN SHELLS, BUT…
– UH-HUH. OOH. – I FEEL I HAVE TO ASK, ARE YOU PLANNING
TO ATTACH THOSE TO ARROWS AND USE THEM AS A WEAPON? – WHAT?
NO. WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY?
[laughs] YOU THINK
THAT WOULD WORK THOUGH? WHAT–WHAT–WHAT IF I SHOT
EXPLOSIVE ARROWS THROUGH A WINDOW
TO BREAK ‘EM OPEN? – SIR, I FEEL LIKE
I HAVE TO ASK YOU WHAT YOU’RE PLANNING
TO USE THESE FOR. – OH, NO, I’M NOT PLANNING
TO DO ANYTHING. I’M JUST–THIS IS
JUST CHRISTMAS SHOPPING. I’M GETTING A–
YOU GOT ZIP LINES? – NOPE. – BUT YOU GOT, LIKE,
HOOKS AND ANCHORS AND CABLES? – WE GOT
SOME OF THOSE THINGS, BUT I DO NOT RECOMMEND
MANUFACTURING YOUR OWN ZIP LINE. – OH, I’M NOT DOING THAT.
NO. LET’S SAY SOMEBODY
WAS MANUFACTURING THEIR OWN ZIP LINE.
– MM-HMM. – YOU THINK IF THEY
HAD BUSTED SOME WINDOWS OPEN ON A BUILDING SOMEHOW, THEN FIRED THE ZIP LINE
OFF A BOW AND ARROW, AND IT ATTACHED
TO THE WALL OF SAID BUILDING, THAT THEY COULD JUST RIDE
THE ZIP LINE INTO THE BUILDING? – I HAVE NO IDEA. SIR, WHATEVER YOU
ARE PLANNING ON DOING, PLEASE DON’T DO IT. – I’M NOT–I’M NOT–
I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING. I’M JUST DOING
SOME CHRISTMAS SHOPPING, TRYING TO GET IT
OUT OF THE WAY. YOU KNOW, BOW AND ARROWS
FOR MY NEPHEW. THE ZIP LINE’S FOR MY…
GRANDMOTHER. ET CETERA AND WHATNOT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING THERE? IT’S NOTHING.
NO BIG DEAL. SPEAKING OF OTHER THINGS,
DO YOU GUYS HAVE JUST THE, UH, TOP HALF
OF A KNIGHT IN ARMOR? – FIRST OF ALL,
IT’S CALLED A SUIT OF ARMOR. – OH, YUP, THAT’S IT.
THAT’S RIGHT. THAT’S WHAT I MEANT TO SAY.
– WE HAVE ONE BUT IT’S SOLD… – OH!
– AS A COMPLETE SET. – YUP. YUP.
– YUP. – YEAH,
BUT THE PERSON IT’S FOR, THEY ONLY NEED THE–
THEY DON’T NEED THE– THEY JUST NEED THE TOP HALF. THEY DON’T NEED THE LEGS.
– MM-HMM. – WELL, WHAT IF SOMEBODY
WAS SHOOTING AT YOU AND– WHAT ARE THE CHANCES YOU THINK
THEY’D TRY TO SHOOT YOUR LEGS? – I FEEL
LIKE I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT A SUIT OF ARMOR
WILL NOT DEFLECT BULLETS. – I’LL TAKE MY CHANCES–
WITH CHRISTMAS. WHICH BRINGS ME, UH,
TO MY NEXT QUESTION. DO YOU GUYS
HAVE ROLLER SKATES? – I THINK WE HAVE A PAIR AROUND.
– UH-HUH. LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. HOW FAST DO YOU THINK YOU’D HAVE
TO BE GOING ON ROLLER SKATES TO GET PAST A COUPLE
OF ARMED GUARDS AND STILL BE GOING FAST ENOUGH
TO SMASH THROUGH A SAFE DOOR? – ONE OF THOSE BIG BANK SAFES?
– NO! I DON–I DON’T KNOW.
YEAH. YEAH? UH… HEY, YOU GUYS GOT ONE OF THOSE,
YOU KNOW, JUST ONE OF THOSE BIG BAGS WITH
A DOLLAR SIGN ON THE SIDE OF IT? – OKAY.
– [snorts] [coughs]
YEAH? – YOU’RE GONNA SHOOT ARROWS WITH
SHOTGUN SHELLS ATTACHED TO ‘EM TO A BANK WINDOW
TO BLOW OUT THE GLASS. THEN YOU’RE GONNA SHOOT
A ZIP LINE THROUGH THAT WINDOW AND YOU’RE GONNA SLIDE ON
INTO THE HALLWAY. YOU’RE GONNA BE
WEARING ROLLER SKATES SO YOU CAN JUST SKATE ON PAST
THE ARMED GUARDS, WHO WILL BE SHOOTING AT YOU,
AND YOU’RE GONNA HOPE THAT THEY BOTH
WON’T HIT YOUR LEGS, AND, IF THEY ARE AIMING
AT YOUR TORSO, THE SUIT OF MEDIEVAL ARMOR
WILL DEFLECT THE BULLETS. THEN YOU’RE GONNA HOPE
TO GATHER ENOUGH SPEED TO BURST THROUGH
THE BIG BANK VAULT AT THE END OF THE HALLWAY WHERE YOU’RE GONNA
COLLECT THE MONEY IN A CARTOON MONEY BAG. – WELL, NO. I’M JUST AN UNCLE WHO’S BUYING
SOME [bleep] FOR CHRISTMAS AND I, UH, THINK I’LL
TAKE MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE. MERRY CHRISTMAS. – IT’S APRIL.

100 Comments

Key & Peele

Jan 1, 2019, 5:19 pm Reply

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The Fazo Fam

Oct 10, 2019, 4:45 pm Reply

Zip lines for my grandma ? ???????

This Yellow Face

Oct 10, 2019, 7:02 pm Reply

this Christmas shopper giving the pawn owner some ideas

TechFan101

Oct 10, 2019, 9:31 pm Reply

Etcetera and whatnot. Lmao

Draven Oats

Oct 10, 2019, 2:11 am Reply

"You got poison?"

Tabeya Sultana

Oct 10, 2019, 2:55 am Reply

Zip lines for my…grandmother.

JT

Oct 10, 2019, 4:40 am Reply

Is he green arrow ?

Maxwell M. Siegler

Oct 10, 2019, 5:38 am Reply

Savage lol

Liv C. O.

Oct 10, 2019, 7:17 am Reply

Is it just me, or does he sound like Rhett from gmm

Vince Villapando

Oct 10, 2019, 8:40 am Reply

April Fools day mofo

clout chaser

Oct 10, 2019, 12:11 pm Reply

Lol I'll take my chances

Mrs C.

Oct 10, 2019, 2:52 pm Reply

? LMAOOOO

Turbulence

Oct 10, 2019, 6:34 pm Reply

“I’ll take my chances… with Christmas!”
?

Louise Patty

Oct 10, 2019, 7:47 pm Reply

Key &Peele has helped me through some really hard time ♡

Julian Hill

Oct 10, 2019, 8:07 pm Reply

This is a scene straight from the Dark Knight

DSMattitude

Oct 10, 2019, 1:26 am Reply

Best skits ever! I dont know how Peele kept a straight face with key playing such a convincing nutjob ??

Mountain Drew

Oct 10, 2019, 1:58 am Reply

That's not a bad plan.

MollysMoshing TankCrew

Oct 10, 2019, 11:15 am Reply

"a suit of armor will not deflect bullets"

ahem- actually a properly made suit of a armor from the time made by a competent Smith can make a suit of armor that can easily deflect handgun sized calibers, it's been tested and put to rest ages ago,

Rifle sized calibers on the other hand

Heh, let's just say are capable of going in one side and out the other lol

skallgrim even tested a proper Viking helmet against a 9mm and .45 both of which bounced harmlessly off

Then proceeded to mag dump it with .223 which went in the front and out the back like it was paper lol

So technically possible, but the suit of armor in the video, likely made of pot metal and likely made in Mexico wouldn't stop a pellet gun so yeah he'd be dead lol.

Negan

Oct 10, 2019, 10:48 pm Reply

Of course the suit of armour will not deflect bullets, that's why bullets were invented in the first place haha

Elizabeth B.

Oct 10, 2019, 3:33 am Reply

They have the best hairpieces.

Dozha Deville

Oct 10, 2019, 7:03 am Reply

Average upset spoiled kid….

dark sonata

Oct 10, 2019, 7:37 am Reply

Finaly something funny in your channel i din't laugh though i just smiled that's it

Nax 1213

Oct 10, 2019, 8:39 am Reply

You got one of thise big bags with the dollar sign on them…. Lmao

xFlaRe

Oct 10, 2019, 12:25 pm Reply

I mean it could work!

Richard Russell

Oct 10, 2019, 1:22 pm Reply

You must not steal.

Mr. Randomly

Oct 10, 2019, 2:46 pm Reply

“Let me ask you a question”.

////

Oct 10, 2019, 3:40 pm Reply

This is how you do crazy white people ?

Vikkor Heel

Oct 10, 2019, 11:07 pm Reply

The ammount of views they get

Vikkor Heel

Oct 10, 2019, 11:11 pm Reply

??

William Myo

Oct 10, 2019, 1:28 am Reply

Do yo do you have h a uh uh uh sir please oh now arrow

George Calimlim

Oct 10, 2019, 2:07 am Reply

Hypothetically

Ghost Wolf

Oct 10, 2019, 3:50 am Reply

It would have been better if he actually had kids come in asking about Christmas presents

Lincoln Dali

Oct 10, 2019, 5:24 am Reply

Do you do poison?

Jhaedify

Oct 10, 2019, 5:35 am Reply

The reason why April fools day is celebrated on April is because people back then thought it was the day Jesus is born, Christmas.

Darth Vader

Oct 10, 2019, 7:32 am Reply

1:48 OOHHH!!! lmao.

mickomoo

Oct 10, 2019, 11:02 am Reply

What kind of pawn shop has all of this stuff?

Hem T

Oct 10, 2019, 1:23 pm Reply

I got most of those items last Christmas.

Bill Bushey

Oct 10, 2019, 2:36 pm Reply

Key: “Merry Christmas.”

Peele: “It’s April.”

Robert Fusco

Oct 10, 2019, 3:25 pm Reply

… in a cartoon money bag! Lol

Ignatius J. Reilly

Oct 10, 2019, 11:36 pm Reply

Brilliant sketch comedy

Jordan Maaele

Oct 10, 2019, 1:13 am Reply

???????

Red Hat Duckie Boi

Oct 10, 2019, 1:42 am Reply

I’m going to start watching key and peele videos on mute then watching them with sound
Edit: WOW OK

krrrruptidsoless

Oct 10, 2019, 10:11 am Reply

It's spurious ……??meaning not genuine

Zen-RPG

Oct 10, 2019, 6:09 pm Reply

When the DM says outloud the PC's crazy plan and then they reflect their life decisions…

2OGgarfia.

Oct 10, 2019, 6:52 pm Reply

Old version of bad bunny lmao

hm woof

Oct 10, 2019, 1:56 am Reply

I just died when at the end he said “…..in a cartoon money bag?!!” ?

Michal Olender

Oct 10, 2019, 2:14 am Reply

Meet Meet….

Unbelieveable Games

Oct 10, 2019, 1:11 pm Reply

Damn he blew my plan.

memphis650

Oct 10, 2019, 1:12 pm Reply

That belt tho ???

XApacheBoix

Oct 10, 2019, 5:39 pm Reply

He’s just Christmas shopping in April, what’s the big deal lol

STF Xpirit

Oct 10, 2019, 11:27 pm Reply

Crazy man who knows nothing about bows & arrows : "Oh yeah, oh that's it. Yeah there it is, that'll do it. That's gonna do it, yup…. where're the arrows at?"

Mannyy keith

Oct 10, 2019, 9:25 am Reply

I swear on my life these 2 are the funniest mfs I know

cornelius allen

Oct 10, 2019, 3:10 pm Reply

?????

Ronica Ferreira

Oct 10, 2019, 3:47 am Reply

At the end they should’ve made him reveal the plan, then him taking it as a suggestion ?

abdullah087

Oct 10, 2019, 5:50 am Reply

et cetera and what not – how I fill up my 300 word essays

Prakharex

Oct 10, 2019, 2:51 pm Reply

Platinum-tier acting right there.

JPLooney

Oct 10, 2019, 10:58 pm Reply

That's some Wile-Coyote stuff right there!

Mad Man

Oct 10, 2019, 2:30 am Reply

Zip Line is for my Grandmother…?

PeaceLove&Freedom

Oct 10, 2019, 3:16 am Reply

…and a zipline for my grandmother.

Manish Rangan

Oct 10, 2019, 5:24 am Reply

The “it’s April” at the end sold it for
Me

Otabekovich

Oct 10, 2019, 9:22 am Reply

It's April ??

Adventure Time Games!

Oct 10, 2019, 6:11 pm Reply

This pawn shop is in L.A. the owner is really cool.

Zaheer Kader

Oct 10, 2019, 11:27 am Reply

Wiley coyote called.. He wants his bank robbery plan back

Mike Hall

Oct 10, 2019, 3:02 am Reply

He just explained everything

Christina Mann

Oct 10, 2019, 6:17 am Reply

Omfg, this is bringing back childhood memories of my neighbors when I we lived in Florida!

524sbth

Oct 10, 2019, 11:45 am Reply

Favorite skit!!

李聿

Oct 10, 2019, 3:18 pm Reply

gotta love his haircut

m marco

Oct 10, 2019, 7:47 pm Reply

I don't know which one is Key & which one is Peele, but the half-black guy is much funnier than the half-white guy.

Jon

Oct 10, 2019, 8:25 pm Reply

"…speaking of other things…" ?

Szayel Granz

Oct 10, 2019, 10:57 pm Reply

Key sounds like Sweetums from the Muppets. But in all honesty, this is such a good sketch. Funny as always!

Anis Alamov

Oct 10, 2019, 11:07 pm Reply

Florida in a nutshell

GamerbyDesign

Oct 10, 2019, 12:53 am Reply

Peele looks like a calmer version of the store keep in Die Hard 3.

SOUL SAMA

Oct 10, 2019, 1:26 pm Reply

plot twist it's actually santa and needs all those things to get in houses to give gift for Christmas

Benjamin *

Oct 10, 2019, 11:54 pm Reply

The Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis of our generation!

vinchenzo !

Oct 10, 2019, 6:05 am Reply

What if he was actually telling the truth?

Mandela The Man

Oct 10, 2019, 6:37 am Reply

Christmas is in April……the real birthday of Christ …..

Alpha Coo

Oct 10, 2019, 9:42 pm Reply

This would be cool to see that in a movie

Jonathan Gomis

Oct 10, 2019, 11:51 pm Reply

Who actually wanted to see him attempt that plan?

Braden Late

Oct 10, 2019, 1:36 am Reply

is it just me or key looks like tim howard

Emelia Onichi

Oct 10, 2019, 4:45 am Reply

Lol.

David Sanders

Oct 10, 2019, 4:49 am Reply

that slow blink at 1:35 lmao

hina kobayashi

Oct 10, 2019, 6:44 am Reply

the way he said “cartoon moneybag” killed me ??

Riiftz

Oct 10, 2019, 9:43 am Reply

Has Shotgun shells but not fireworks

Riiftz

Oct 10, 2019, 9:45 am Reply

Aint no one going to mention the face that Key's hair is also his beard?

Aloysius O’Hare Air

Oct 10, 2019, 11:17 am Reply

This was his actual Christmas list just giving examples

Furyan Auror

Oct 10, 2019, 1:50 pm Reply

They should have had a news report about his successful robbery in another one.

Truth Seek

Oct 10, 2019, 2:05 pm Reply

I saw the thumbnail and I’m already laughing. I miss these two.

Magnum Dong Adventures

Oct 10, 2019, 5:22 pm Reply

this is like eric andre but eric andre skits are real

Harrison Hurd

Oct 10, 2019, 6:47 pm Reply

I feel like this is how Nicolas Cage does his shopping

CharlieSheen’s AIDS

Oct 10, 2019, 6:54 pm Reply

“OH”

Frank Olson Twins

Oct 10, 2019, 9:27 pm Reply

This is pretty much me and every hardware store owner I've ever dealt with.

Lando Johnson

Oct 10, 2019, 11:03 pm Reply

Lol

Reef Specialty Aquariums

Oct 10, 2019, 2:28 am Reply

Same pawn shop from bad boys?

Mark Spence

Oct 10, 2019, 7:30 am Reply

This is Ted Kaczynski 2.0… SMH

MR42J.Worthy The Show

Oct 10, 2019, 11:35 am Reply

Prolly my favorite skit

David Sanders

Oct 10, 2019, 3:49 pm Reply

Poor grandma will never get her zipline now

Bobby Dragulescu

Oct 10, 2019, 5:52 pm Reply

I love Jordan Peele's Tim Meadows impression.

Johnpaul Coffin

Oct 10, 2019, 1:21 am Reply

" I'll take my chances…. with Christmas "
Me every year

Don’t Fear The Reaper

Oct 10, 2019, 2:30 am Reply

everyone in chat want to be 200IQ with their comments…honestly shit is not funny

jerry koochie

Oct 10, 2019, 3:23 am Reply

Just another ordinary day in florida

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