| by Kenneth Chase | 100 comments

Gunpowder Plot, pt. 1 | Critical Role RPG Show Episode 31

MATT: Hello and good evening, everyone, and
welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical Role, a show where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors
play D&D, Dungeons & Dragons. Roll dice and kill monsters and sometimes maybe get killed
themselves. I don’t know. (yelling) MATT: Because it’s fun to set the tone. It’s fun.
But yeah, so anyway. Thank you guys for joining us, old and new, welcome to our chaos. We have a
few announcements to get through before we start tonight’s game. First and foremost, for those who
haven’t seen, we’ve been putting up Spotify playlists compiled by our different players here.
And this week we had Vex, Laura, put up her playlist. Which is awesome. If you want to say
something about your playlist and some cool stuff they can look forward to? LAURA: Just that it’s the coolest. No, it’s
actually weirdly personal to put it together and put it up. It feels like you’re baring your soul.
So I hope you guys enjoy my soul. And also, song three, which is like… everything. MARISHA: That one might have made me cry a little
bit. LAURA: Right? MARISHA: Yeah, just a little. LAURA: I may or may not have been thinking of the
Critters while I was picking that song. Just so you guys know. TALIESIN: I’m so excited. I haven’t heard yours
yet. SAM: Are we on? MATT: We are on. Hi. Welcome, Sam. SAM: Hi, guys. LIAM: You’re so early tonight. SAM: (breathless) Oh yeah, sorry. (laughter) MARISHA: We’re the beginning of the
announcements. It’s great. We were talking about the playlists. SAM: Oh, I’ve got to finish mine. MARISHA: Yeah! You’re almost done. I will say, for
those who have not gone and checked out any of the playlists, we have Vax and Percy up as well.
Definitely go do it, because all that little extra content that we put out is always kind of a litmus
test, to see if people are going to be interested in it. And if you guys go and actually visit the
webpage at Geek & Sundry, then we get more content. So the more you go visit it– MATT: Make more stuff for you guys, yeah. MARISHA: Yeah, the more that we can show the
people upstairs that people do like our stuff and our content, the more you will get. So please go
check it out if you have not yet. It helps. TALIESIN: Here, actually, do this with me. Let’s
make a double rainbow gif, for later. (laughter) LAURA: That’s beautiful. MATT: That’s on you, CritRoleSource. TALIESIN: That’s on you, internet. MARISHA: You’re welcome. MATT: Cool. So that’s awesome. Next announcement,
for those who haven’t had a chance to see it. A little over a year ago I Kickstarted a web series
with a bunch of other really talented people. Sean Becker, who is director of The Guild, directed it.
It’s called Muzzled the Musical. Ashly Burch, a bunch of great talented people from The Lizzie
Bennet Diaries and a bunch of other web series, Juliet Landau is in it. It’s a great fun web
series and it went live last week right before Halloween. So we have our three-episode arc up on
YouTube. If you like musicals and you like fun silly dark, Doctor Horrible-style performances,
then you’re going to like this. Check it out, see if you like it. Let’s see. Oh yeah, tomorrow is
BlizzCon. BlizzCon, for all you crazy guys who are going or those who are watching on the digital
online pass. A bunch of us Critters will be wandering the halls, doing panels and all kinds of
fun stuff. Like, for me personally, I’ll be there tomorrow at 4:30. I think, Liam, you are on that
as well? LIAM: Yeah, same panel. MATT: Yeah, The World of Warcraft Live panel.
We’ll be there doing that. And then doing a signing afterward. What else you guys got going on
at BlizzCon? LIAM: I’m on three, so I think it’s two on Friday
and one on Saturday. I tweeted out the times. Don’t remember them now, so just go check my feed
if you want. I’ll see you there. MATT: Awesome. ZAC: I’m going to have to do my job really quick and
jump in on that. And say that tomorrow at 4:30PM PST here, we will be doing a live trailer watch
and reveal with special guests. Laura and Travis are coming by. Alison Haislip and Ify Nwadiwe are
going to be our hosts for that. And then we are going to have interviews with Duncan Jones the
director and some of the cast and crew. It’s going to be really cool, so tune in tomorrow, 4:30, for
that. TALIESIN: And then if you’re at BlizzCon, I think
we’re going to be wandering around a little bit. MARISHA: Yes, I’ll be there. TALIESIN: Yeah, I’ll be there. MARISHA: We’ll be there. Probably watching his
panels. MATT: Rock that out. Cool. Also, tonight is
Critmas. So for those who want to hang around. (voice cracking) We have quite a cavalcade of
presents. LAURA: There’s a lot of presents, you guys. LIAM: Taliesin and I got here early and with Ryan
we opened everything and it’s an embarrassment of riches. LAURA: They had to open it so that we wouldn’t be
opening the boxes. TALIESIN: We tried not to peek. LIAM: Some of the stuff I didn’t see, some of the
stuff Taliesin didn’t see. So we’re not completely spoiled, we’re a little spoiled. LAURA: We got a little spoiled. I got a little
spoiled early, though. MATT: Because of that. LAURA: Somebody sent a new Trinket! Look at that,
you guys! MATT: Giant bear. LAURA: Look at him. He’s so cute. LIAM: And please. I mean, we thought it was a
corpse, at first, when we got it. Then, when we opened it up we got really excited and I had this,
which I used to open it. We got really excited and took a bear out, and then it was a bear and we
forgot about all the wrappings and the paper. So if you sent us the bear, please contact us now. SAM: Wait, we don’t know who sent it?! LIAM: Just contact us now. You’re watching.
Somebody is watching who knows that person, so just let us know. MATT: Find them, post it in the chat room. TALIESIN: Somewhere they’re saying, “That’s my
bear”. LAURA: Please! I have just been hugging it
non-stop. MATT: It was pretty amazing when it was wrapped
up. It looked like a body. Like, straight up, season two Dexter. It was pretty fantastic. MARISHA: Which leads us to our next point. Please
don’t send us bodies. MATT: Please don’t. No bodies. TALIESIN: Address it to me, if you do. MATT: (laughs) He’ll know what to do. LIAM: I think if it had been the only package, we
would have been able to focus better, but there were about a hundred packages, so it was difficult
for us to focus. We were opening stuff for an hour and a half, so thanks in advance. MATT: So thanks in advance for that. Also, you
will recognize a couple of new songs tonight. We had the wonderful pleasure of having Bethesda
approve us using Elder Scrolls music in our on-channel playlists. So I have been able to go
back and re-incorporate all of my old Elder Scrolls music that I used when we originally
played off stream. So that’s really cool. Thank you, Bethesda. Thank you guys very much. TALIESIN: Now ten percent more realistic: Critical
Role. MATT: Exactly. Imagine that. Really stoked about
that. TALIESIN: More authentic. Homebrew. MATT: Just a reminder. The “How do you want to do
this?” shirts are up. I still have to get one for myself. I think I should. And we have the
Critical Role necklace and awesome keychain, which I have not seen in person until tonight. LAURA: They’re really cool. MATT: So we’ll pass them around and we can each
give it our blessing. Each individual one is blessed by me. That’s not true, but you will still
roll well while wearing one. So that’s exciting, and let’s see what else we got. Do you want to do
the quick Wyrmwood thing? Reminder from Wyrmwood? LIAM: Yeah. We are friends with Wyrmwood Gaming,
and you can still use the code CritRole to get free shipping on an order for your wood. Its
beautiful wood. I have some black wood, but there’s many different colors. LAURA: I got this wood. LIAM: They are really, really beautiful. So just
share the nerd connections, everybody. MARISHA: Pretty sexy. LAURA: These are the Kickstarter boxes, though.
These are what’s being done now, or are those for sale right now? LIAM: The Kickstarter boxes are not. The CritRole
code will not work for these, but they’ll work for these bad mama-jamas right here. SAM: Which is really what you want. LAURA: And these, too. These are deck boxes. MATT: Yeah. Thank you, Wyrmwood, for being so
awesome and for putting that code together for our community. LIAM: I have one personal thing. MATT: Yes, please. LIAM: I have a pilot on Amazon Prime called
Everstar, where I play a little robot. SAM: Is that true?! LIAM: And he’s really uptight. Yeah, that’s a
pilot. SAM: Oh, did the Amazon pilots launch today? LIAM: They all launched, and I’m in a cute
adventure cartoon for young girls and boys. And I’m up against bloody, gritty live-action dramas
and political satire and other cartoons, as well. Roger Craig Smith is playing Mouse Cookies. But if
you like Everstar, which is this young action/adventure space-pirate story, give it a
watch. If you like it, vote it through. If it gets voted through, I will continue to be a robot. SAM: I directed one, too, called Yoyotoki Happy
Ears. So that’s on there too. MATT: How’s that go, again? SAM: Yoyotoki Happy Ears. It’s really weird and
funny, and it’s actually really awesome. TRAVIS: Also, Halo 5 is out this week, which Laura
and I are in. It’s amazing. LIAM: I’m not familiar with that. What is that? TRAVIS: It’s some game. Takes place in outer
space. LIAM: Is that a match three? Like Bejeweled? TRAVIS: It’s like Candy Crush, but with more
death. TALIESIN: That’s available on Android. MATT: The last announcement is that they announced
that The Witcher is coming to theaters in a couple of years, and that has nothing to do with us,
other than the fact that I’m probably going to be at full mast for the next week, thinking of that
possibility. TRAVIS: Said so casually. LAURA: Yeah. MATT: I’m so excited. Please don’t fuck it up. TRAVIS: They will. It’ll be Mark Wahlberg. MATT: No, no, no! MARISHA: Channing Tatum. LIAM: Will Ferrell. MATT: I will… I would not! MARISHA: Channing Tatum is Geralt of Rivia. LAURA: Done! Let’s make this happen. MATT: Don’t. Guys, I will stop this show. Your DM
is out! If Channing Tatum becomes Geralt, I will be so furious. He’s great at certain roles. I
loved him in… I absolutely adored him in the 21 Jump Street movies. SAM: I guess he’s not coming on our show, jeez. MATT: That’s enough of our silly talk. Let’s go
ahead and dive into the chaos that is the current circumstance. Keep in mind, the culmination of
leading into Halloween with this story arc and now going and starting a rebellion in Whitestone on
the Fifth of November has been a very delightful, unintentional coordination here. TALIESIN: I almost wore my special spider belt,
too, but it felt too weird. MATT: So that’s pretty cool. So to get you guys up
to speed with the circumstance that has happened, those especially that are tuning in for
the first time. A couple known as the Briarwoods that took over the city of Whitestone five years before,
murdering most of the ruling family of Percy– other than himself, escaping– have recently been
doing political discussions with the home city of Emon. Vox Machina, our troop of intrepid
adventurers, upon discovering this, battled them at Emon. They fled to Whitestone, and the party
has then gone after to seek to destroy them and free the town, the once-home to Percival. In the process, it appears that there have been a number of
warnings set, and the entire town has been long held under this dark, ominous rule that they have
kept at bay. Apparently, they have found notes of previous, failed rebellions, and things that die
here don’t seem to stay dead. A number of zombified giants are wandering the city as these
giant lurching sentinels. And apparently, a number of the cutthroats that helped the Briarwoods come
to power in this town have now been given titles and land here and are now called the new nobles by
the locals. During this process, you guys managed to sneak
into the town, began setting out word of coming rebellion and that Percival de Rolo has returned
and the Briarwoods’ time is numbered. Upon meeting the previous chancellor to your father of the
town, Archibald, you guys came to an understanding, and he was going to reach out to
all of his contacts and let them know that the rebellion is happening. You guys then set out to
set a two-pronged attack against two of the remaining new nobles in the town. Most of the
party going to seek the outside of Count– what’s his name? TRAVIS and LAURA: Count Dooku. MARISHA: Count Duke. MATT: Duke Vedmeyer was the one that Scanlan went
to, and then Tylieri is the one that the rest of you wandered outside. Now, as the rain pours down
into the city, midday. Scanlan decided to open from a Polymorph spell, as a fly, to the top of
the front doorstep of Vedmeyer’s home. Then, proceeding to un-Polymorph and re-Polymorph into a
triceratops. Of which, I have your statistics here for your triceratops form, if you want to come get
that. MARISHA: Go get them stats, boy! TALIESIN AND MARISHA: (chanting) Stats, stats,
stats! MATT: So that’s your triceratops form. After
becoming a triceratops, you squashed the front guard that was there, you slammed through the
front of the building, destroying the front door, and we cut to the other group who is stealthing
through the rain. At which point, the okay was given to Grog, whether intentionally or not. Grog
then charged to the front door of Tylieri’s estate, and the rest of you prepared for impact.
And that was where we left off, in the center of this chaos. LIAM: Let’s do this! LAURA: Oh, god. MATT: So without further ado. Sam. SAM: But I was just handed this. MATT: I know, take a look. TRAVIS: Sucks to be first! LIAM: He’s got the maps out already. Get your shit
together, man. SAM: I’ve never been a triceratops before. LIAM: That’s not what I heard. SAM: All right, you’re right. Think like a triceratops.
So, I need shelter. I don’t know. How do triceratopses think? TALIESIN: Probably like punk rock hippopotamuses. SAM: Hip-hop-ipotimi. MATT: Say, for the sake of this, for now, we’ll go
through your circumstance, as they are separate. So Scanlan, you are– I did not have a
triceratops, but I did have a stegosaurus. It’s the same size. I’m sorry, bloodspike behemoth. TALIESIN: That’s kind of racist. MATT: I’m sorry. You know what? They’re not around
to argue. TRAVIS: That you know of. TALIESIN: We are going to get a bunch of angry
tweets from stegosauruses and triceratops. MATT: I’m sure. Please, bring them my way. As you
slam your way into the front of Duke Vedmeyer’s estate. Pieces of wood blasting outward,
scattering among the center of the foyer. You see before you a rising staircase that divides into
two separate staircases that curl around to the second level. SAM: Lovely decor. MATT: You also notice that the entire
interior is currently filled with guards. All seemingly prepared and almost expecting your
arrival. SAM: I think I can take them, guys. I think I can
take them. MATT: You also see, at the top, Duke Vedmeyer
himself. A large, hairless, grey-skinned goliath, wielding a giant two-handed sword, armored with a
breastplate. MARISHA: Vecmeyer? MATT: Vedmeyer. LAURA: He’s a goliath? MATT: He’s a goliath, yeah. MARISHA: Vedmeyer is a goliath? SAM: Wow, that’s going to be fun later, but not
right now. Okay, do I know? So, let’s assess my knowledge real quick. I know about him a little
bit. He is one of the thugs that came into the city. MATT: Correct. SAM: He is not a magic-wielder, as far as I know. MATT: As far as you know, no. And at first glance,
based on the fact that he is wearing heavy breastplate and is wielding a giant two-handed
sword, you get the feeling he is probably not as heavily inclined towards the arcane arts as others
you have encountered. SAM: As I quickly survey the room, do I see anyone
else who is a threat greater than a heavily armed guard? Anything that is a creepy wizard or a weird
old mage? MATT: Currently, no. Currently, all you see are a
series of Whitestone guards in uniform armor, all with heavy crossbows, currently nocked. And as you
come blasting through the door, they are already arranged in what appears to be a waiting pattern,
should anything try and charge its way into the house. SAM: So they’ll probably all shoot me, won’t
they? MATT: In fact, roll initiative. SAM: So directly in front of me, there’s a
staircase going up? MATT: Yep. SAM: Any other doors or exits? MATT: There are doors on each side that are
currently locked, and other than that, no. SAM: Those are locked doors? MATT: They are closed currently, and they appear
to be– There’s a giant wooden beam crossed over the front of each. Then there’s the outside which
leads to the exterior, to the raining outside of the household, and the stairs that go up. SAM: Oh, man. MATT: Roll initiative. SAM: Initiative? Don’t I get a surprise round?
Doesn’t matter. 21. MATT: Okay. SAM: I don’t get a surprise round because I sprung
in there? MATT: Apparently not. SAM: Damn it. MATT: You made a very loud noise when you turned
into a triceratops and tore through the front of the household. All right, so Scanlan is up first. SAM: So here’s the thing. Here’s the thing. I
should probably leave. TRAVIS: Yeah, come on. SAM: But come on. I’m a triceratops! I’ve got to
have some fun first, right? TRAVIS: You can take a couple of hit points,
right? SAM: Right?! TALIESIN: I think you revert back to normal. MARISHA: Does Polymorph carry over? MATT: If you go to zero hit points in animal form,
you go back to your regular full health and any damage that carries over just goes to your regular
health, at that point. LAURA: That’s a lot of people. MARISHA: You have 115 hit points. MATT: You guys aren’t there. Scanlan, what are you
doing? TRAVIS: (sings Jurassic Park theme) (others join in) MATT: What are you doing? SAM: Wait, it’s my turn first? MATT: Yeah, you have initiative, man. SAM: I beat them with initiative? MATT: You did. SAM: They are more than my charging distance as a
triceratops, right? MATT: He’s the only one that’s within,
technically. What’s your speed? SAM: 40. MATT: 40. You would get right up to Vedmeyer if
you were to charge. SAM: I would be dead. TRAVIS: No, you wouldn’t. You got it. Go stick
him! MATT: What do you want to do? SAM: I’m going to go– How far away are the doors
on the sides? MATT: Over here? It’s about 35 feet. SAM: I’m going to turn right and blast through
that door. (laughter) MATT: Okay! SAM: Oh shit, it could be trapped. Well, we’ll
find out. LIAM: Expect the unexpected with Scanlan
Shorthalt. MATT: He goes blasting through the doors. SAM: Do I have to roll to blast through the
doors? MATT: We are going to find out. Yeah, go ahead and
roll a strength check. Roll a d20 and add your strength modifier of the triceratops form. SAM: Okay, strength modifier says plus five. So
that’s only a 17. LAURA: For a door! SAM: Me and doors don’t get along too well. MATT: You, running, slam your head in,
through, the horns protruding and tearing through the wood. The doors break inward, but the doors
don’t fully blast inward. SAM: The door beat me! MATT: The door is in bad shape. It won’t take much
more power to blast through. SAM: These fucking doors. MATT: It’s now your worst nemesis. SAM: So now I am stuck in a door? MATT: You could try and pull back out. You manage
to pull out without an issue. The doors are mostly beaten inward. It will take but a small impact to
blast through next turn, if you wanted to. SAM: Next turn? Do I still have an action after
this? MATT: That would have been your action. TRAVIS: You’re great! You’re money. You’re good. LAURA: Every single one of those guys can attack
you now. SAM: Yeah, but it probably won’t happen. TRAVIS: Maybe they didn’t see you. LAURA: Run away. SAM: It’s not my turn anymore, right? That’s it. MATT: That’s your turn. LAURA: No! SAM: My triceratops ass is sticking out. MATT: Just right there. TRAVIS: Look, they’re all dummies. They’re just
mannequins. MATT: This guy moves up over the railing with his
heavy crossbow and aims this way. These guys all shift to this side with their crossbows. SAM: I’m going to die. MATT: Over here, this guy’s going to move to this
point so he can get a view of you. And Vedmeyer is going to move down here and get his sword ready,
grinning. As he holds his sword up, he puts his hand up and goes, “Aim, fire!” A bunch of crossbow
bolts get loosed at once (shh, shh) through the middle of the room. What’s your armor class as the
triceratops? SAM: I have no idea. 14?! MATT: 11, that misses. That’s a 13, misses. SAM: Wow, these guys suck. TALIESIN: They are like stormtroopers. MATT: Natural one. TALIESIN: They are! You are being attacked by
stormtroopers. MATT: That’s going to be a 14, hits. 18, hits. 24,
hits. That was six? SAM: That was six. TRAVIS: Three hits. MATT: One more, that’s a 22. So I have four that
actually hit you with the crossbow bolts. TALIESIN: You’re fine. SAM: Yeah. TRAVIS: You’re now a porcupine triceratops. LAURA: You have 115 hit points. SAM: I have 115 hit points?! TALIESIN: And when those go out, you are back to
human hit points. MATT: That’s eight piercing damage. 13 piercing
damage. 21. LAURA: Are you immune to any kind of damage? MATT: 25. 34 points of piercing damage from this
volley. LIAM: Is there resistance to anything on there? MATT: Nope. SAM: What does that take me down to? 81? Is that
right? 115 minus 34, 81? TALIESIN: Sounds about right. SAM: Okay. MATT: All right. That brings us back to the top of
the initiative round, and you’re up. SAM: Well, shit, then I’ve got to get some
retribution. TRAVIS: Totally. Turn around and give it to them. SAM: Am I considered flanked? MATT: You are not. SAM: Damn it. TRAVIS: You do have a tail. SAM: I do have a tail. MARISHA: You are like a drunk guy at a craps
table. SAM: I don’t know how to hit things. I’ve never
hit things before. LIAM: There’s the door you mangled in front of
you. SAM: Okay, I’m going to gore that guy to my left. MATT: He is above you on the railing. SAM: Oh, that’s a balcony. I thought that was a
stairway down. MATT: I’m sorry, this is a balcony up
top. So he’s actually aiming down and firing at you. LAURA: Then just go through the door. SAM: I’m going through the door. MATT: All right, then roll another strength
check. SAM: Yeah, because I’m not tangling with Duke
Vedmeyer or whatever. 23. MATT: 23, not a problem. You burst through. TALIESIN: We’re going off the map. LIAM: Hey, you guys! MARISHA: He’s taking them off the grid. TALIESIN AND MARISHA: He doesn’t have a social
security number! MATT: So what you see in here, as you blast
through. It’s a dining room with a central dining room table, two small tables in the far corners.
There is a ten-foot window across the way. It appears to be a normal dining room set. SAM: Is that my action? MATT: That is your movement. SAM: That’s my movement? MATT: Yeah, I’d say at this point it is so damaged
that it doesn’t take much effort to push through, so you can manage to push through as part of your
movement. SAM: Okay. TALIESIN: You could pick ’em off as they run
through. I’m not helping. I’m sorry. MATT: Nope, you guys aren’t there. TALIESIN: Not there. Shutting up. SAM: (whispers) I should get out of there. But
it’s so fun. MATT: What do you want to do, Scanlan? SAM: So, I am in the room. No one is in there with
me. MATT: Correct. SAM: So where’s this laser pointer? TALIESIN: You can also hold your action. Just as
an option. Not to help, but you can hold your action. SAM: So, yeah. I’ll just position myself right
next to the the door there, and I will hold my attack until anyone runs through the door. They
get an insta-gore. MATT: Okay, good to know. Holding an action. The
next turn will be Vedmeyer. SAM: Oh shit, here he comes. Here he comes. It’s
me and the big guy. MATT: Holds up there. He is going to wait there.
He’s actually going to dash and just get up right next to where the doors are burst open. He can
hear you right around the corner. The rest of these guys are going to dash in. SAM: Oh god. I think I can take them, guys. MATT: There, there, there. This guy is going to
just try and jump down. Let’s see if he makes his acrobatics. He does not, with his armor. He leaps
off the edge and manages to damage his ankle and is currently prone on the ground. That ends their
turn. Back at the top. Are you still holding your action on your turn now? It’s back to you. SAM: Okay. Tell me this, did I hear a bunch of
footsteps? Can I hear? MATT: You heard a bunch of footsteps coming in,
yeah. SAM: (sighs) All right, I’m not good at fighting.
I will– LAURA: Can you set a blaze? SAM: I don’t have any fire. I don’t know why I was
sent into this mission. I don’t do fire things. I will drop my form. Is that an action? LAURA: You have a lantern! MATT: You can drop it in a moment. MARISHA: Don’t you have a torch? MATT: The triceratops shrinks down to gnomish form
now, in this partially destroyed dining room area. What are you doing? SAM: I’m going to– hold on. MARISHA: How did this plan happen, then? TRAVIS: Because we’re a bunch of slap-dicks,
that’s why! MARISHA: Why didn’t you say I don’t have fire?! I
said, “Hey Scanlan, I should come with you,” and you said, “I can take care of myself. How many
times do I have to tell you guys? I don’t need “your help.” MATT: The echoing voice you hear, in the back of
your mind, as you imagine this is what Keyleth would be saying right now. MARISHA: Dorito’s a failure, you guys. SAM: Yeah, okay. I peek around the corner a little
bit. Just make sure they’re all there, and I will Stinking Cloud all of them. MATT: Okay! LIAM: Why are you not Dimension Door-ing out of
there? SAM: I’ve got to have some fun first. How often am
I going to take on a whole house by myself? TRAVIS: I like it. I’m so in love with you right
now. TALIESIN: I approve of this plan. MATT: All right. 20-foot radius sphere. I’d say
you could affect all of them, yeah. All of them in this big ol’ Stinking Cloud radius. Not a worry.
This whole area fills up with gas. All right. All of a sudden, the entire foyer just fills up with
this greenish, noxious cloud of poisonous gas. Let’s see. They have to make a constitution save. LIAM: Get the goliath. Get that goliath. MATT: What’s the DC? Is this through your hand
cone? SAM: Oh, for sure it is. So 19. MATT: (laughing) 19? Jesus Christ. Okay. Nope.
Nope. Nope. Nope. Natural 20, he’s fine. 19, he’s fine. 18, nope. Nope. Double nope, because he’s on
the ground. Fuck that guy. Vedmeyer rolls a one. (cheering) MATT: All right, so these two guys immediately
cover their mouths and pull up this little bit of material they have around their chest plate armor
to cover their mouth. The rest of them start (coughs) hacking up. One of them starts vomiting
all over the ground, and he has a helmet on, so it’s straining through. It’s awful. (groaning) MATT: Vedmeyer himself kind of backs against the
wall and (groans) just tries to get it to leave the area, but it’s just this thick cloud.
It’s slowly moving away. Yeah, they are in a bad place right now. Okay, and you still have
movement. You have only moved five feet so far. TRAVIS: Is Stinking Cloud methane-based? SAM: (laughs) It is the way I do it. I can still
move? MATT: Yeah, you only moved five feet so far, so
you still have 20 feet of movement. SAM: Okay, I’ll do a Dukes of Hazzard over the
table. MATT: All right. TRAVIS: Unnecessarily. SAM: Do I have to make an athletics check or
anything for that? MATT: Do an acrobatics to see how cool it was. MARISHA: See how cool it was! SAM: Acrobatics? MATT: Yes. SAM: What do I do for that? LIAM: You got a number. SAM: I know, but I don’t do these things. 11. MATT: 11. You (grunts) you slide, only because you
partially destroyed it as a triceratops, (ssss) but in your head it looked pretty cool. Thank god
none of your allies were around to actually witness it, but you heard the theme music. SAM: Okay, yes. So I’m near the window now,
right? MATT: Yeah, you’re right by the window. SAM: Okay, and that’s, I guess, everything.
Right? MATT: Yeah. SAM: Okay. MATT: Okay. Your turn ends. Vedmeyer is just– you
can see his eyes are filling up with liquid. He does make his saving throw. He coughs. (coughs)
Manages to clear the air around him. You can see the cloud slowly moving back this way, away from
where it was cast. That finishes his turn. However, he is no longer affected by the Stinking
Cloud. You can see as the cloud slowly moves past him, and his face comes through, his pupil-less,
angry goliath eyes are staring at you from across the room to where the doors are open. You see him
grit his teeth and (growls). You can hear his teeth scratching across themselves in anger and
fury. SAM: I’m shaking. MATT: The rest of them are going to go. These two
guys are going to move forward. They both come running in, putting another bolt into their
crossbows, (clicking) pulling it back real fast, pulling up their heavy crossbows, and firing at
you. That is going to be a 24. SAM: Well, that hits. Of course it does. MATT: And an 18. SAM: Against what? LAURA: Your AC! SAM: Oh yeah, that hits. MATT: So you take 12 points of piercing damage
from the first bolt and five points of piercing damage from the second. As both (zoomf, zoomf)
bolts, one hits you in the shoulder and ricochets off, not doing much damage. The other one slams
and actually embeds itself into your thigh, about an inch into it. It’s piercing and
sticking out the other side. Mostly caught armor, but you can feel it definitely got a chunk of
flesh in the process. LAURA: Oh no. SAM: Okay. MATT: That ends their turn. The rest of these
guys, now, are going to try and make their saving throw. Fail. Fail. Fail. No, success on him,
actually. He rolled a 19. A success on a natural 19. Fail. Fail. Well, no, actually these three
succeed. The rest of them are still down. So I’ll say that these guys here are all down. And he’s
still up. These two are still down. Okay. That ends their turn, you’re up. SAM: I so want to get some payback, but I
shouldn’t, right? LIAM: G-T-F-O! SAM: I think I can take these guys. MATT: That is a hell of a Lightning Bolt line,
right there. SAM: How big is that diameter? MATT: It’s about six feet across. SAM: Oh, I can’t lift that thing. MATT: No, it’s a big, long table. You have a very
wide line of individuals, right there. All ready to snatch you. SAM: All right, one more round. What do you say,
guys? TRAVIS and LIAM: We’re not here. SAM: One more round. I am going to– fuck. Do I
have line-of-sight on the door? MATT: The door is right here. So you’re by the
window. So if you wanted to move over here, then you would have line of sight on pretty much
everybody. SAM: Yeah, that would be so fun. TALIESIN: You could move and then move back. I’m
only helping with gameplay strategy. SAM: He could brain me. TRAVIS: He could. SAM: He could brain me in one shot. Okay. I will
duck under the table so they think that’s where I went, and then Dimension Door to the roof. MATT: Okay! You duck under the table. I’m going to
say make a deception roll to try and successfully feint them. SAM: Oh, okay. LIAM: Can they see the top of his head behind the
table? MATT: From their direction it’s kind of hard.
Especially because there’s a table and chairs up against it, and part of it has been crushed by a
triceratops that was previously here. LIAM: “Oh, I’m going under the table.” TALIESIN: Sentences you never expect to hear in
your D&D game. SAM: 31. MATT: So you grab your head. Oh no! Do a very
elaborate dive under the table. SAM: Here I go under the table! MATT: A little strange dull thud of arcane energy
as you bamf up to the ceiling. SAM: Okay, great. TALIESIN: He is reaching under the table, ladies
and gentlemen. LAURA: I know, what does this mean? Oh, okay. MATT: All right, is that your turn? You are now up
on the rooftop. There’s rain pouring down. You are immediately soaked from the heavy storm that’s
now coming into Whitestone. SAM: Yeah. It’s just me up here? MATT: Just you up there, yeah. SAM: Okay. I will go invisible and just hang and
just see what happens. MATT: Okay. Easy enough to do, because it will
take a round for anyone to recover from that, anyway, because you have to use your action both
turns. So as you are waiting up there, you cast Invisibility on yourself and wait. SAM: And then I start digging through my pockets,
if I have any flint or fire-making apparatus at all. MATT: Check your equipment. SAM: I will. I will look. MARISHA: Do you have an adventurer’s kit? SAM: Nope. I have some poison. MATT: Poison the house. There you go. That’ll
work. TRAVIS: We are the best planners. Ever. MATT: I know, you guys are rocking it. SAM: Oh wait, I do have something. LAURA: Yeah? You do?! SAM: I have a Potion of Fire Breath. MATT: You do. MARISHA: Okay! LAURA: It’s raining up there. SAM: Well, but it’s a potion. I don’t know how it
works! MATT: You’re checking your pockets. You find the
potion. You look down and you notice, even through the storm, you can see in the distance, there’s
the dark shape of a giant lumbering zombie guard making its way down to this part of the town. What
are you doing? SAM: So I’m on a roof that’s all soaking wet,
right? MATT: Yeah. SAM: There’s no crawl space access? No attic I can
get to? MATT: Make a perception check. SAM: Okay. Whoa, nothing. Two. MATT: Two? This is a pretty solid roof with
apparently no entry point at any points. The craftsmanship is flawless. SAM: Okay. You know what? I’ll just try it. I will
Fire Breath Potion myself. MATT: Okay, you pull up (boink), pull the cork
off, (glug glug). SAM: I don’t know what this thing does. I’ve just
got this. MATT: As you feel the fluid find its way down your
esophagus, it warms it like a fine whiskey would, but the warmth just grows and grows to the point
where it’s almost too hot, but it never quite reaches a point where it’s painful, but you feel
as if this need to belch is burbling within your stomach, and at any given point in time, you could
let that belch fly forward. SAM: Okay. And am I close to the entry point roof?
The roof of the entry point? MATT: Where you came in? SAM: Can I get over there? MATT: Yeah, you just come running across the
rooftop. It’s a little bit of up and down as the topography happens, and as you’re running, you
start hearing voices shouting out in the street. You make your way over to the top of the roof
above. SAM: Okay, so I’m just going to lean over the side
and scorch the whole front entrance as much as I can from where I am. MATT: Okay. As you (grunts) let the belch out, it
comes out in a large spray of orange, yellow, and red flames that immediately burst beneath the
overhang, which– SAM: By the way, I’m also invisible, right? MATT: You are no longer, unfortunately. When you
do an attack of some kind, the invisibility is released. So this gnome appears, soaking wet, over
the edge of the roof and then releases this gout of fire that blankets the front of the building,
catching flames on all the portions of the front part of the second, and parts of the first story,
including the top of the entryway that you had already smashed through as a triceratops, which
exposed a lot of dried wood. It immediately bursts into flame. As you complete that breath and you
inhale for a second, you hear voices now starting to shout from the inside of the house. (muffled
shouting) You can’t really make out the noises, but it sounds like there’s panic now starting to
hit from the inside, and you see a few guards start rushing out into the street to try and look
at where the source of the flames came from. They both look up and see you. SAM: Oh, great! Wait, these are guards who are
outside, yeah? MATT: These are guards who were inside the house
that as soon as the fire came shooting down and burned the house, they rush out, look up, grab
their crossbows, and aim them up towards you. TRAVIS: Just your hands and head are sticking
over. MATT: That’s a 17? SAM: That hits. MATT: And a 13. TALIESIN: Doesn’t he have at least half-cover from
the roof? MATT: He does, actually. SAM: That does not hit. MATT: 17 does not hit. SAM: Oh, no, the 17 does– well, it would have. MATT: That’s a good point. You would have half-
cover from looking over the rooftop; you only have a little bit of your hands and your face showing.
So both go (pshew pshew), firing off into the rainstorm. SAM: Because I’m a gnome, do I always have half-
cover? (laughter) MATT: No. But it’s easier for you to find it. It’s
a lot less to cover. SAM: Okay. MATT: So both bolts (shoosh) streak past you into
the sky. They angrily reach down and duck back inside the building with the rest of their
movement to get out of the range of now what appears to be a flame-throwing gnome. So that’s
their go. What are you going to do? SAM: Do I know enough about this potion to know if
it gives me any other breaths, or is that it? MATT: It does progressively give you a breath for
a short time. SAM: So I can breathe again? MATT: Yeah. Specifically– oh no! (laughter) MATT: And that was the end of Scanlan. LIAM: It’s the giant! It’s the undead giant! SAM: I have no idea what I’m doing. TALIESIN: You’re doing so well. It’s so great. MATT: You have three different exhales of this.
It lasts for an hour or until you exhale three times. It’s a bonus action to do it, so you could
also do something else and breathe fire. SAM: It’s a bonus action?! MATT: Yep. SAM: Okay. Well, then. TRAVIS: I don’t know if that house is cooked
enough, man. LAURA: I know, maybe you should just keep burning
it. SAM: (laughs) Yeah. So I’ll run over to the back
side of the house and do the same thing. MATT: Okay. So you run over. Your full movement
will get you about halfway across. At a dash, we’ll get your other action there, and you’ll have
your bonus action left over. You manage to slide across the roof, grab the edge, reach over and
(blows air). Just unleash on the opposite side. This side, because the angle the rain is coming
at, is getting a little bit of water, but there is still a number of dry wood exposed by the
immediate overhang that it does manage to catch, and the flames are beginning to burn up and
collect on the sides because it is superheated flame. Both sides of the house now appear to be on
fire. Looking over your shoulder, you can see now there is a pillar of black smoke rising up from
the front of the building. You do see on the opposite side a hatch (click, bam) slam open and
you see a giant, meaty goliath hand (boof)– LAURA: Oh no! MATT: Now stepping out into the rain, you see the
goliath Duke Vedmeyer step up (doosh) with his two-handed sword. SAM: Shit. (shouting) Lovely home you’ve got
here! TRAVIS: It’s like Duel of the Fates. On a burning
rooftop in the rain. (laughing) Giant goliath and a gnome who spits fire. MATT: All right, it’s your turn. SAM: Okay. How close is his hatch to the edge? MATT: The hatch is actually halfway. It’s in the
middle of the roof. It’s actually met from the second story, from one of the rooms or one of the
closets, so it’s about 25 feet from either the front or the back side. It’s right in the center
of the house. SAM: (frantic breathing) Okay. MATT: Whatcha got, Scanlan? Whatcha got? SAM: (muffled) I’m trying. I’m just seeing range
here. MARISHA: It looks like a Frank Miller comic right
now. It’s what I see in my head. MATT: Scanlan showing down in the rain. SAM: Five times your Spellcasting ability
modifier. My Spellcasting ability modifier is– what? MATT: It’s charisma. SAM: It’s charisma. It’s five. Five times five,
that’s 25. That’s 25 feet. Okay. (sings) Bigby’s Hand! So I call forth Bigby’s Hand and
I will force him off the roof. (cheering) MATT: Okay. All right. TALIESIN: The roof is wet. MATT: The roof is indeed wet. I’m aware. (laughs)
Oh, this will be interesting. SAM: (sings) I want to fly away. TALIESIN, MARISHA, AND SAM: (sing) Yeah, yeah,
yeah. MATT: Okay. So you create the hand next to him,
and as he starts stepping forward towards you with his sword at the ready, there’s a shimmer in the
air as a giant kind of vaguely purplish arcane hand all of a sudden appears. He looks confused
for a second and rears back to try and attack it. As the hand pulls back, comes rushing
forward towards him, I want you to go ahead and make a strength check with the hand. SAM: Oh shit, he’s strong. MATT: The strength is plus eight, so add eight to
this roll. SAM: 17 plus eight… MATT: (laughs) Natural one. (cheering) SAM: I’m going to kill everyone in this
motherfucking house! (laughter) MATT: I’ve rolled so many ones today. This is
ridiculous. MARISHA: You have, and we’re just getting
started. MATT: All right. The hand pushes him five feet
plus the number of feet equal to five times your spellcasting modifier. Yeah. Okay. As the hand
shoves him, he goes pushed off to this side. Seems to be holding against it, but the hand eventually
scoops him up and actually gets him off of his feet and shot-puts him off the roof. He plummets
backward off the side of the roof, and you wait a second to hear a (boof) across the way.
That’s full damage there. (mutters) Okay, he takes 34 points of falling damage and is knocked
prone. LIAM: You can’t get this on network television,
ladies and gentlemen. MATT: So you’re now standing alone on the rooftop,
your Bigby Hand there next to you, a little trickle of fire curling at the corner of your
mouth from your final dragon’s breath when you decide to use it. What are you going to do? SAM: Oh. I’ve got to get out of here. (laughs) TRAVIS: Just burn it. LAURA: Burn in the hatch and then get out. SAM: Okay. Am I close to the hatch? MATT: Yeah, you’re about 25 feet from it. It’s
where you got him. SAM: I’ll hoof it over there and just look around
and punch myself in the gut, (belch). MATT: Okay. As you reach over, you look down, and
there is a ladder that leads up to the front, and there are two guards that are currently making
their way up to the roof. They look up and see you, and their eyes go wide within their helmets,
and as you release the flames, all you see is their faces go, “Ah!” Just engulfing the
entire tunnel. Roll 4d6. MARISHA and SAM: 4d6? MATT: Yes. SAM: I don’t have any d6. MATT: There you go. They both fail their DC 13
dexterity saving throws because I can’t roll tonight. SAM: 15. MATT: 15? Okay. They both take 15 points of fire
damage and the entirety of that space has now burst into flames. You pull back because the heat
is intense, backdraft-style, as you’re at the top. SAM: Do my eyebrows burn off? MATT: They don’t burn off, but you feel they might
be a little singed. You’d have to give it a few days to recover. And you hear screaming down inside the
tunnel and both of them are currently dealing with the fact that they’re on fire. So that’s your
movement, that’s your bonus action. You still have an action. SAM: Okay. I’ve got to get the hell out of here,
guys. Okay, tell me this, Dungeon Master. MATT: Yes? SAM: Dimension Door. Can it be used at higher
levels? MATT: Let me double-check on that, actually. I
don’t know if it can, but we’ll find out. LAURA: Can you Bigby’s-Hand slam down onto the
Count? MATT: Dimension Door, no. Dimension Door cannot. SAM: Okay. How about Polymorph? MATT: Polymorph… nope. SAM: I’m fucked. (laughs) LAURA: You’ve used all your spell slots? TALIESIN: You can use Bigby’s Hand to– SAM: I don’t know if Bigby’s Hand can catch me.
It’s not like Feather Fall. MARISHA: Can it carry you? LAURA: Can you float? TRAVIS: Maybe it’s like a slide. LAURA: Maybe you can slide down Bigby’s Hand. TALIESIN: Fly it like the carpet. MATT: Do you want to try? TRAVIS: You’re welcome to try. LIAM: Yeah, you’ve lifted people with it. You’ve
grabbed people. TRAVIS: I mean, ultimately, on foot sucks for him
right now. MARISHA: Just surf on the giant floating hand. TALIESIN: Through the sky. MARISHA: Through the sky. LIAM: Is what your friends would say if they were
there. MARISHA: Yeah. TRAVIS: All you’ve got to do is get away for this
to be amazing. LAURA: Otherwise, you’ll burn alive on a roof. MARISHA: All you have to do is live. LIAM: Comically tragic. MATT: What are you doing? SAM: Okay. Does Unseen Servant have any mass? MATT: Not really, no. Unseen Servant is like a
barely-there small-level air elemental. SAM: Okay. So I’m just going to (hums a bit, then
sings) I’m jumping in the rain. I’m jump– so I’m going to jump off the– can I go away from
the Goliath? MATT: That would be this way, this way, or this
way, because he fell off that side. SAM: So not the two sides that are on fire. MATT: The flames are now licking up both sides of
the house, so you have to go this way. TRAVIS: Where’s the zombie stone giant now? SAM: It’s going to take a couple of turns to get
over there. MATT: Yeah, the full length of it. At full dash it will
get you there and there, and you still have about a good 20 more feet to get, so that’s your turn,
there. SAM: Okay. MATT: The two guards that were back that way are
now no longer on fire. They have gotten to the roof and put themselves out. They both look very,
very angry at the current circumstance. They step out of the hatch both places. LIAM: Different hatch or the same hatch? TRAVIS: The hatch is on fire? MATT: The hatch is still on fire, there are still
flames, but they got out (panting). They’re out in the rain now. The rain’s putting out and dousing
the flame that’s on them. They both look over and see you running away. They pull their hand
crossbows at the ready. They were already ready to fire. That’s a 24? And a 26. SAM: For the second guy, I– no, I’ll just take
it. Okay. MATT: Okay, they both hit. They had 24 and 26.
That is seven points of piercing damage and 12 points of piercing damage. So 19 total. SAM: Okay, got it. MATT: All righty. They both reach over and grab
bolts out of their sides and start preparing for another series of shots. Both catch you in the
side. One you can feel a few inches into your shoulder and it’s making the joint stick, and the
pain is starting to really burn on the left side of your body, but you’re okay. Now it’s your
turn. SAM: Okay. I look back at them and I do that thing
where you just kind of do this. (laughter) MARISHA: Trust fall? SAM: And I trust fall off the back of it. LIAM: Do you have the earring in? SAM: Oh, I do. (laughs) But I’m going to
simultaneously make Bigby’s Hand try to catch me at the bottom of it. MATT: Go ahead and roll a d20 and add your
charisma modifier to it. SAM: Charisma? MATT: Yeah. SAM: That’s 20. MATT: 20? You trust-fall off, your eyes somewhat
closed and letting it happen. SAM: Come on, Bigby. Catch me. MATT: And in the moment that you expect ground to
meet you with a heavy, hard smack of reality, a soft cushion of arcane energy catches you as these
spiritual purplish fingers curl around and gently bring you to the ground. TRAVIS: Beymaxed it. SAM: Oh! Don’t get handsy, Bigby. (laughter) LAURA: Austin Powers. SAM: All right. Is that my turn? MATT: Oh, that was just the fall, and you land
there. He’s way over this way. So you’re outside of the house now. You’re in a small alley
between– well, not an alley. You’re on the side of the house and there’s a big grassy area around
it, and there’s the fence that surrounds the whole… LIAM: Run, Forrest. SAM: So I’m going to– do I get an action? No,
Bigby’s is a bonus action. MATT: It’s an action to use its ability, so it was
your action to catch you as part of it. SAM: It’s an action? MATT: To do anything with Bigby’s Hand. SAM: It says, “and as a bonus action on subsequent
turns.” MATT: Oh, it’s a bonus action? SAM: Oh, wait. No, that’s for moving it. The bonus
action is moving it. I got it. MATT: Yeah. SAM: Okay. MATT: So you’ve been moving it along with you as
you go. SAM: Yeah, but the act of catching me was the
action. MATT: Yeah. SAM: Got it. Okay. So I’ll just start running.
(laughs) MATT: Okay. So you’re going to start running over
this way. SAM: On my tiny little nubby legs. MATT: All right. As you run, you get over to the
front of the gate that is closed off. It’s a little bit too tight for you to squeeze through.
How do you plan to get over the gate? SAM: I’m planning to climb over the gate. MATT: Okay. SAM: (laughs) I’ve got nothing left. MATT: Make an athletics or acrobatics check to try
and get over the gate. LIAM: Whatever the better number is. Whatever’s
better: athletics or acrobatics. SAM: They’re both pretty terrible. 16. MATT: 16. Okay. Is that acrobatics or athletics? SAM: That’s athletics. MATT: Athletics. So you run, you jump up (ching),
grab onto the metal bars to start just pulling yourself up over the top, land on your feet, and
you’re now right near where the street is, and you can see to your right it’s open, towards the
direction of where the rest of the party is. To the left, you can see now, coming through the rain
about a hundred feet from you, a giant hulking zombie giant that’s stomping towards you. As you
notice that, you see a number of figures come swarming out of the two buildings to the side of
it, and immediately start attacking the zombie giant. TRAVIS AND LIAM: Go, go, get out. MARISHA: They’re attacking the– LAURA: They’re attacking the zombie giant. That’s
good. LIAM: You have inspired people. G-T-F-O, man. SAM: Yeah. I’m useless to you guys. Yeah, I’m
going to go invisible and watch from the shadows. MATT: Okay. So you just cloak yourself and watch
from the shadows off to the side. As you are there for a little bit, keeping your eye out for the
next couple of minutes, you can see the house is now completely engulfed in flames. The rain, try
as it might– the roof itself is not catching yet, but you can see now, fire is licking out of every
single window and glass is steadily breaking over time. (crash, crash) The guards have all escaped
out, and you can see the guards and Vedmeyer are now storming across the entire grounds. He’s
giving orders left and right, and they’re all out searching for you in the nearby vicinity of the
home. Looking across the way, you can see the zombie
giant is now currently reaching down and swapping down. You can get a closer view. They look like
some of the normal inhabitants here, are wearing makeshift armor, weapons that they have, and they
are now rising up and attempting to take down this zombie giant. You watch as it reaches out. It
slams and smashes one to the ground, leaving him lifeless, while another two leap up on the back of
the zombie giant and are stabbing it with spears, and you see it (moaning), it gives out this roar.
It’s hard to tell from this distance which side is getting any ground, but it is currently held up by
this group of about ten individuals that are attacking it at once. SAM: It’s cool. MARISHA: That’s so cool. MATT: You just going to stay there and wait it
out? SAM: I think I’ll wait it out if I’m in a
relatively safe place, because I can’t really do anything for you guys, anyway. You’re on your
own. MATT: Okay. We’ll use that to hop over to the
other party. SAM: Oh, I’m taking a short rest. LAURA: Oh, that’s good! Yes. MATT: A short rest is about half an hour to 40
minutes of waiting, so you might want to find a place that isn’t quite so intense to do this. You
can try and sneak into one of the nearby homes and do it, maybe. SAM: Well, I still want to see where this giant
thing goes, so I’m still watching it. MATT: Okay, so you would not be able to rest,
unfortunately. It’s not a very restful situation right now, to gather yourself. Okay. SAM: Whew! I lived. LAURA: I like that Scanlan takes out an entire
house, and we’re all probably going to die. TRAVIS: Dude, you were fucking Rambo just then.
You were Scanlan Rambo. LAURA: You’re a legend. TRAVIS: Do you have any red cloth you can tear off
and tie around your forehead? LIAM: Is your beret still on? SAM: (laughs) I never got a beret. Did I get a
beret? TALIESIN: You did get a beret. I thought you got a
beret. SAM: Yeah, I wanted a beret. TRAVIS: That was outstanding. (laughter) MATT: I approve of this greatly. All righty. The
rest of you guys who have all been slinking out the back. You just knocked a guard out. Trinket
came with you? LAURA: Trinket went with Grog. MATT: Grog. Right, that’s right! LAURA: You can do it, buddy! MATT: Percy, Vex, you guys are all back this way.
The back of the building. You can see what looks to be one door to a back room. Grog, as you come
slamming up with Trinket behind you (thudding footsteps) up to the front of the building, you
see the front doors are there before you. TRAVIS: Oh, they’re in front of us? MATT: Yeah. TRAVIS: I’m already raging? MATT: Yeah. TRAVIS: I just fucking bust through,
apeshit-style. MATT: Okay. Make a strength check. TRAVIS: Okay. LAURA: Can I ask you, really fast? MATT: Yes. LAURA: I never leveled up Trinket’s hit points
when I leveled up. MATT: You didn’t. All right. LAURA: That’s important at this moment. MATT: It is very important at this moment. TALIESIN: Ugh, why do you have to do that, man? MATT: Trinket’s hit points right now are what? LAURA: 56. MATT: 56. MARISHA: This Elder Scrolls music is pretty dope. LIAM: Bringing it home. MATT: Trinket should have four more hit points. LAURA: Four? MATT: Yeah. All righty. LIAM: Zac, adjusting the microphones. ZAC: Nobody knows. Nobody knew, until you said
something! TRAVIS: I got advantage on the strength check, so
it was a 26. MATT: 26? TRAVIS: Yes. MATT: You rush forward. With your foot, (boom)
it’s Sparta, the front of that door as it just (crash) cracks open, Trinket coming up behind you.
The doors open. You can see now before you, there is a single staircase that curves up to a second
floor. There is a large vase right at the base of it, right there. There’s a couple of tables by it,
and it goes to the right and left. Do you enter the premises, or are you staying right at the
door? It’s up to you. TRAVIS: Yeah, I go in. MATT: All right. Grog, you push your way in,
Trinket following behind you right there. Immediately, you see the upper banister, right
over the railing also, similar to what Scanlan encountered, has guards completely within this
area, at the ready, crossbows pulled. In wait. LAURA: Oh, god. He just keeps adding them! LIAM: Just 12 more. MARISHA: Cool. MATT: There is Tylieri. All waiting, crossbows at
the ready. The doors slam open, you guys rush in. For a second, there’s nothing immediately within
your range, and you look up and see an entire array of guards all trained upon you and Trinket.
A voice behind them goes, “Loose!” (fshh) TRAVIS: At least Trinket’s behind me. MATT: (chuckles) What’s your armor class? TRAVIS: 19. LIAM: You’re going to tell us when we can do
something in the back, right? MATT: Yep. This is just– because of the speed
everything goes, he gets there before anybody. LIAM: Yeah. Just curious. MATT: No worries. All right, that is– ooh. That
is 27 to hit? TRAVIS: Yep. MATT: That is 15 to hit? No. Third one, that is 16
to hit? Nope. That is a 21 to hit? TRAVIS: Yep. MATT: 26 to hit. TRAVIS: Yes. MATT: That’s a 22 to hit? TRAVIS: Yep. LAURA: All the shitty guards were over at the
other house. MATT: 14 to hit? TRAVIS: No. MATT: 20 to hit? TRAVIS: Yep. MATT: Then three more. TRAVIS: Yeah. MATT: 22 to hit? TRAVIS: Yep, that hits. MATT: 12 to hit? TRAVIS: No. Last one? MATT: And ten to hit. Yeah. MATT AND TRAVIS: Six. MATT: Six crossbow bolts come at you. That’s eight
points of piercing damage. Don’t halve them yet. We’ll add them all up and then we’ll halve that. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: So, eight plus 13. 21. Plus eight again, 29.
Plus another nine. TRAVIS: 38. MATT: 38, plus another 11. TRAVIS: 49. MATT: So 49, and then another 12. LAURA: 61. MATT: So 61. So you take half that, which would be
31 points of piercing damage on you in one volley of crossbow bolts at you. (shoosh) You protected
Trinket, and the rage did descend it a little bit. The pain, as all these bolts are now sticking out of
your chest. You look like this front-quilled porcupine. You just take the pain and grin for a
second. You have that iron-y taste of blood reach the back of your throat from the immediate impact
and it just further intensifies your rage. I’m going to have everyone here roll initiative
because you’re all acting simultaneously at this point. MARISHA: Which dice? Green dice. LAURA: I know, I’m like, “Which ones?” MARISHA: That was– nope. Not good. MATT: All righty. 25 to 20? LAURA: Oh, should I roll for Trinket, too? Oh, he
goes when I go. MATT: Trinket goes when you go. LIAM: 23. MATT: 23? All right. We have Vax at the top. 20 to
15? TRAVIS: 18. LAURA: 17. MATT: All right. TRAVIS: Thanks to the Feral Instinct. MATT: All right. 15 to ten? Ten to five? TRAVIS: Oh, shit. MARISHA: Five. MATT: What did you get? SAM: I’m not there. MATT: Oh, no. Sorry, you’re not. TALIESIN: I totally forgot. I’m so sorry. I’m at
26. I got distracted because I have a new– TRAVIS: Distracted by what? MATT: To be fair, I asked 25 to 20. (laughs)
That’s my own fault. TALIESIN: I’m using my new sheet and I’m just
confused, so yeah. MATT: That’s okay. LAURA: You’re cheating?! TALIESIN: New sheet. I leveled up, so I had to do
a thing. MATT: By the way, guys, both Scanlan and Percy
leveled up this last time. TRAVIS: If only Rambo Scanlan was here. (laughter) LAURA: It’s insane. MATT: So. We have at the top of this combat round,
Percy. TALIESIN: Oh boy. Okay, is there a way in? SAM: Are you getting a FaceTime? MATT: Am I? TALIESIN: Are you FaceTiming somebody? MATT: I’d better not be. That was weird. I don’t
know what happened there. Anyway. Battle’s still up. TALIESIN: So is there a way in, at this point? MATT: There is a door right here at the back of
the building that you can see, but the door is currently closed. TALIESIN: I’m running over to the door and opening
it. I can hear the commotion from inside, and I’m running in the door. MATT: Okay. You rush to the door. You go to try
it, (clicking). The door is locked. LIAM: Hold your turn, dude. TALIESIN: I’m holding my turn. MATT: You’re going to hold your action. TALIESIN: I’m holding my action. MATT: Okay. That’s fine. LIAM: All right, I’m up. MATT: Next up is Vax. LIAM: Yeah. I’m going to try to unlock the door. MATT: All right. You go ahead and you rush over
(whoosh), pull out your lockpicks. LIAM: So that’s a ten. 23. MATT: Rain’s still pouring down, you have your
hood up, the water’s dripping past your face as you’re trying to concentrate. You get the tools
in. It’s not a very complicated lock. (click, creak) You push it open, leading you guys into the
interior of what looks like a kitchen. LIAM: Perception check. Which is a 25. MATT: 25. As you look inside, it’s a cold kitchen.
It hasn’t been in use for a while. The fire’s up, there’s a little bit of a slab in the corner where
most of the preparations are done, there’s a few cabinets that are up. It’s dark. There’s no
lantern. LIAM: And what are the other doors? MATT: There’s a door immediately to your left, and
there’s, across the way, is an archway opening. There’s no actual door there. It’s just a walkway
that leads into the next room. LIAM: So it’s open straight ahead? MATT: Yes. LIAM: I haven’t used any movement. If I go to the
archway right across, right? MATT: Yep. LIAM: I’m clicking my boots as I walk forward. Do
I perception check again at the arch, or does the same one hold? MATT: As you glance through, you can see what
appears to be… LIAM: I unlocked the door and I’ve walked ten
feet. MATT: There appears to be a hallway. There’s a
hallway that goes across the way. There’s a door at the end of the hallway, and two doors to the
right and left of this hallway. LIAM: All right, I’m going to juke to the left.
I’m going to go to that door and try the knob. MATT: Right here? LIAM: Nope, no, the other door in the room I’m
in. MATT: Oh, over here? LIAM: Yeah. MATT: You go over there and you try it. (click) It
opens up. LIAM: (singing) Perception! MATT: Opens up into what appears to be a storage
room. LIAM: Nothing. MATT: Series of barrels, small grain sacks in the
far corner. It appears that most of the dry storage for the kitchen is kept in this room. LIAM: All right, so I look straight at Percival. TALIESIN: I’m going to go straight through the
hallway and try the door on the left. MATT: Okay. Move you forward to do that, you move
in. LIAM: I’d like to use the last of my movement just
to stay– because I’ve got the boots on, I’ve got a lot of movement left; I can stay ten feet behind
him. MATT: You do. Okay. You stay behind him as you
move in. The door, this one here? TALIESIN: Yeah, move the one to the right. Yeah,
sure, that one. MATT: (shhh) You slide that one open. It appears
to be a bathtub in there. It’s a rather nice powder room and bathroom. TALIESIN: There’s no way to just quickly push the
other door open, too, is there? MATT: You can try. I’ll say for this round, you
can go ahead and open that, look inside for a second, go for this, just really quick checking
back and forth. This one, this door actually, it does not appear to open at a push. TALIESIN: And I signal. LIAM: Can I, at this point? MATT: No, you’ve already done your move. LIAM: And we’re on the first floor, right? MATT: Yes, you guys are on the base floor. TRAVIS: And they’re all up on the second floor,
right? MATT: Right, that’s your go. So. Bringing us to
Count Tylieri’s turn. Count Tylieri, who is currently looking over the banister. He kind of
steps forward here for a second. Grog, this works for you because you look up and see all the guards
there. Tylieri walks up. This rotund-looking, slimy individual, thinning hair, very pale skin, a
little bit of facial hair that has never really seemed to grow fully in, but he tries to groom the
best he can. LAURA: Grog’s beard is better than that. MATT: Oh, much better. He’s wearing fine clothing.
He’s got rings encrusting his fingers, but he walks with a deftness to the edge of this stairway
and looks over and says, “Interesting. I figured “there’d be more of you.” TRAVIS: Interesting. There’s a lot of dead men up
there. MATT: (laughs) Of which, you see him leap up onto
the ceiling, (pshh) stick to it. And begin to (skittering noise) scatter across. LAURA: The one with the shitty beard? MATT: Yep. MARISHA: Tylieri? MATT: Yep. SAM: He’s Spider-man? MATT: He jumps up and spider-crawls across the
ceiling, and then drops down. Yeah. With deft acrobatic feats, he leaps across, drops and lands
right in front of you. You can see now in his face, as slovenly as it is, there is a look of
deathly hunger in his eyes, and fangs bared from under his lips. TRAVIS: That’s a neat trick. MATT: He is now going to make two melee attacks
against you. That’s a natural 20 with the claw, and the other one’s going to be a 15? I don’t
think it’s going to hit. TRAVIS: No. MATT: So he now has these long claws in his hand.
The first one (whoosh). It catches you off guard from the sheer weird assault that he’s brought to
you. TRAVIS: What’s wrong with you? MATT: (laughs) You take 16 points of slashing
damage (whoosh) from the first arc, and he goes up with the second hand and this time you (grunt)
pull out of the way. His hand manages to knock some of the bolts free that were jammed in your
chest. TRAVIS: Half the 16, right? MATT: Half of 16, correct. TRAVIS: So, eight. MATT: Because you’re raging, so eight on that one.
That’s his go. And he just grins at you with this hissing sound, licking his fanged lips. That ends
his turn. That brings us to Grog. You’re up. TRAVIS: (growls) I go into a frenzied rage and I
use reckless attack, along with my great weapon master, and I turn that thing into a piece of goo
with my war hammer. (laughter) MATT: Okay. War hammer (fwoosh) bursts into
flames. Your eyes all of a sudden go into an intense glare as you rear up and go into your
frenzied rage. Make your attacks. Do it. TRAVIS: Advantage on them. That’s much better.
That’s 24? MATT: 24 hits on the first strike. You only have
advantage on the first attack. TRAVIS: Oh, gotcha. Okay. Just the first one. MATT: Yeah, the first one’s a reckless strike. TRAVIS: Okay. 21? MATT: Hits, as well. TRAVIS: And 20. MATT: All three hit. TRAVIS: Yes. Okay. MATT: That’s with the minus five, right? MARISHA: Great weapon master? MATT: Because of great weapon master, it would be
minus five to each attack. TRAVIS: No. MATT: All right, so the last one was 15? TRAVIS: Yes. MATT: Last one misses. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: But the first two do hit. TRAVIS: Okay. I forgot that part. Know your rules,
kids. LAURA: Then you add a ten to all of them? TRAVIS: 21 for the first one. MATT: 21 points of damage. TRAVIS: And 20 for the second one, and the third
one misses, right? MATT: That’s with the fire, right? TRAVIS: That’s with the fire. MATT: Yeah. Third one misses, so 41 points of
damage to him with the first two, (whack, whack), the impacts slamming into him. You can see his
body get pushed back with each impact. He’s still taking it and grinning at you, but he’s also
seemingly surprised by the ferocity of the strikes. Is that your turn? Are you going to
move? TRAVIS: That’s it. No, I’m not going to move. MATT: Okay. He’s going to use one of his legendary
actions to, at the end of your turn, reach out and attack you again. That’s going to be a 23 to hit? TRAVIS: Yep. MATT: Instead of attacking, he’s going to grapple
you. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: So his claw goes up and actually (fwoosh)
reaches into your throat, and you can feel the claws digging into the flesh. It’s a very, very
firm grip and he has you right where he wants you. TRAVIS: Work that hand out a lot, do you? MATT: That’s that action there. All right, that
brings us to the guards. The guards all reload their crossbow bolts, move in. These three now see
the bear in the back and they’re going to fire on Trinket. These seven are all going to fire on
Grog, now that he’s held there. So the three against Trinket. That’s going to be a 16? LAURA: Doesn’t hit! MATT: That’s going to be a 20? LAURA: Hits. MATT: And a 22. LAURA: Yeah. MATT: So Trinket takes six points of piercing
damage and 11 points of piercing damage. Total of 17 points of damage to Trinket as two bolts
(shink, shink). One of them bounces off the armor. One actually sticks and Trinket, (growls) but it’s
not enough to really cause much of a worry. LAURA: Yeah, he doesn’t care. MATT: The other seven against you, Grog. Natural
20. Natural one. That’s not going to hit, that’s a natural five. 18? TRAVIS: Misses. MATT: Natural one. That’s a 19, that hits. A 19
naturally, so it’s 27. One more. That’s 18 to hit. TRAVIS: Misses. MATT: Oh, these all have advantage on you because
you did a reckless attack. TRAVIS: That’s right, I did. MATT: So the one that would have missed is a
natural 20. TRAVIS: Nay! MATT: That does hit. Natural 20 again. MARISHA: What? MATT: I’m rolling for all the ones that would have
missed. SAM: Why do they have advantage on you? TRAVIS: Because I had advantage on mine. MATT: Yeah. Reckless attack. SAM: That’s reckless! TRAVIS: (laughs) It is very reckless. MATT: They all hit you, three of which are crits. TRAVIS: (sarcastically) Yay! MARISHA: Son of a bitch. MATT: First crit is 19 points of piercing damage. LIAM: (flatly) Merry Critmas. LAURA: We’re all going to die. MATT: The second crit is going to be nine points
of piercing damage. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: Last one is going to be another nine points
of piercing damage. TRAVIS: Okay, 37 halved. MATT: Actually, that would be 15 total because
that was a crit. So the three crits are out of the way. TRAVIS: Okay. 37. So, 15 total? MATT: 15 on the last one, yeah. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: And so those are the three crits. TRAVIS: 33. What’s half of 33? LAURA: 16. LIAM: 16 or 17. 16. MATT: There you go, so that’s that. And the next
ones are 11. Another 11. TALIESIN: We’re going to have to thin these ranks
out quickly. MATT: Ten. And seven. So you take another 39
points of piercing damage after that. TRAVIS: Okay, I’m going to use my stone’s
endurance to get rid of that stank. MATT: One of them, yeah. TRAVIS: Roll, plus my constitution. 16. MATT: Okay, so we’ll say you reduce one of the
crits from 16. The first one, take 15 points off that because I think one of the crits was 15.
We’ll say you used it on that one. That’s 39 points of piercing damage, reduced by half. That
will put you at 18. TRAVIS: 18? Okay. MATT: We’ll say you take 18 points of piercing
damage from those four non-crits. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: So yeah. That ends the guards’ volley. That
brings us to Vex. You’re up. LAURA: Me? And Trinket. MATT: Yes. And Trinket. Both. LAURA: Okay, so I run in after Percy and my
brother. MATT: Okay. LAURA: And Trinket– MATT: Are you going to dash? Because you can move,
you can double move, using your action to move, if you want. LAURA: Oh, I can? MATT: Yeah. Unless you want to use your action to
yell out for Trinket to attack, in which case, you can give Trinket a round of combat. LAURA: Oh, I do want to give Trinket a round of
combat, so yes. MATT: Okay. LAURA: And he gets a couple of attacks if I don’t
attack at all, right? MATT: Correct. Yep. LAURA: So that’s good. (screams) Okay, Trinket
gets two attacks because of bestial fury. MATT: Correct. LIAM: He hears your voice! LAURA: Because he hears my voice. So he’s going to
run around and he’s going to try to knock over– he’s going to cannonball into the vampire guy. MATT: Okay, so he’s going to move this way and
then cannonball forward? LAURA: Yeah. MATT: Okay. Trinket moves off to the side.
(thudding footsteps) Gets a couple of running starts, and then rolls into a roly-poly style
forward. All right, so make one attack against him. LAURA: Okay. Okay. What do I add to that? MATT: Your attack bonus for Trinket. LIAM: I don’t know, for your bear. AC, HP, bite
attack, claw attack, plus eight. MATT: Yes, plus eight just for the attack. LAURA: Okay, 15? MATT: 15 does not hit, unfortunately. So Trinket
rolls past. He dodges out of the way, gets an attack of opportunity on him because he wasn’t hit
as part of the attack. That’s a 27 to hit. Trinket takes seven plus three, ten points of slashing
damage as he streaks by. Seeing the bear coming at him too soon and managing to both pull out of the
way and use that to his advantage. TALIESIN: I’m going to be playing rule Nazi
tonight. Is that attack of opportunity possible since he’s grappling somebody? MATT: Technically, yes. He’s just grappling with
one hand and just dodges out of the way, moves over and slashes with the other hand. TALIESIN: Trying everything I can to save this
bear. MATT: I know you, man. It’s okay. (laughter) LAURA: Trinket then comes out of cannonball and
tries to bite the back of the vampire’s neck. MATT: Okay. I’ll let you do that because this is
your full round to do that. Usually you would choose to cannonball– LAURA: Or I do my two attacks? MATT: But because you aren’t part of this combat
fray and you’re giving all of your round to him, I’ll let you do it, sure. LAURA: Okay. Thank you. MATT: Trinket comes out of the roll, turns around
(roars) and strikes with the claw, swiping– LAURA: He’s trying to bite his neck like a
vampire! MATT: Oh, bite him? Okay. LAURA: Oh, shit. Ooh! That’s good. 27. MATT: That hits. LIAM: Split his head like a gourd. LAURA: 11. MATT: 11 points of damage as Trinket latches onto
the back of his shoulder (growls) and pulls and tugs at him, trying to get him loose from Grog’s
grip. Not strong enough to do so, but he nevertheless takes the damage and (snarls) hisses
back at the bear clutched onto his shoulder. Cool. That ends your turn. Keyleth, you’re up. MARISHA: Okay, can I see the smoke from the fire
rising up from what Scanlan did on the other house? MATT: At this point? Make a perception check. It’s
a heavy storm. MARISHA: That’s not great. 12? MATT: 12? Currently, in the storm, you’re just not
able to really make up any visual in the distance right now, no. You do not know if there is any
fire going on or any signal, at this point. MARISHA: Okay. Shit. Are there any other windows
along the back side of the house? MATT: Over here? Yeah, there’s a window there,
window there, window there. MARISHA: Through the side. MATT: Oh, back here? This side, there are no other
windows. It is completely closed off. MARISHA: No other windows? MATT: Nope, there’s just the one entry there that
everyone else went in through. MARISHA: Shit. Okay, I’ll go inside. SAM: Hello, is there anyone in here? MARISHA: Is there anything in this direction? This
way? Can we not get this way? MATT: This is a storage closet that was already
checked by Vax, who walked past it. MARISHA: Do we know if there are any outside doors
over here on this side? MATT: You don’t, no. No one’s moved all the way in
to see, and it’s not very well-lit in there, currently. MARISHA: Could I have gone around the edge here to
see? Would we have known, going on this side, if there were any doors? MATT: No, because you guys approached from that
side. You saw windows, but it was fairly dark. You saw a little bit of light moving through some of
the windows on the second story, but nothing down here that really caught your attention. MARISHA: And we still have no way into this main
room, either, yet? MATT: Not yet. There is a door at the end of this
hallway, but nobody’s gotten to try it yet. TRAVIS: Could you get to a second-floor window? MATT: You could push past your party and continue
to move down the hallway, if you want. LAURA: Second floor’s better than first floor,
anyway. MARISHA: Okay. I’m sorry. I’m an asshole. SAM: You turn into an asshole. MARISHA: (giggling) I turn into an asshole. Were
there any– fuck, I really don’t want to have to blow– okay, so I’m going to— MATT: What are you going to do? MARISHA: Yeah, you know what? I didn’t go inside.
I’m outside. MATT: You came inside. Not going to retcon it. MARISHA: Dick. All right. MATT: I’m just saying! You can’t get halfway in
there and be like, “Wait, this didn’t happen.” MARISHA: Okay. LIAM: Technically, none of this happened. TALIESIN: Thank you for coming with me on that
journey. MARISHA: Fine, I’ll just see if this fucking door
is open. That’s all I can do right now. MATT: The one across the way? MARISHA: Yeah. MATT: Okay. MARISHA: Sorry, guys, excuse me. Sorry, excuse
me. MATT: You push past everyone. You push on the
door. It opens up and reveals a long dining room, a big, thick dining room table, a double window
across the way. This is the house’s dining room. There are two double doors across the way that
lead into what you think is the foyer, in which Grog and Trinket currently stormed through. And
you can hear, muffled through the door in the distance, the sound of combat and impact and
people shouting to each other. MARISHA: Okay, can I cross over to that window and
look out the front window? The window over here? MATT: I’ll say you can get that far, and you can
just crest and look out the window if you want to. MARISHA: Do I see any fire from Scanlan? MATT: From this point, you’ve already checked
once. You’re just getting in there. You won’t be able to really see from here. MARISHA: That’s my turn. MATT: That brings us to the top. Percy, you’re
up. MARISHA: Oh, yeah. Can I call him? Can I,
(whispering) “Scanlan. Scanlan!” MATT: You make a little bit of a calling noise.
You hear nothing back. You fear you might be just out of range for it. MARISHA: Son of a bitch. All right. TALIESIN: I’m going to make a run for the door. MATT: Okay. You can get to there. You’re just at
the edge of it. Do you want to try and knock it open? TALIESIN: Is it open? Can I open the door? MATT: You can try to. You reach out. (creak) It
opens up and you can see now, a light comes pouring through from the foyer, and you can hear
much louder now, the sound of combat, and Grog chuckling, and swings and impacts. You can see a
couple of crossbow bolts go (boof) and scatter across the ground. TALIESIN: I would have to use my action to move? MATT: Correct. TALIESIN: You know… (sighs) Yeah, this is going
to be worthwhile. I’m going to– well… (laughter) MATT: What are you doing? TALIESIN: I hate you. MATT: What are you doing? SAM: Kill things. MARISHA: Shoot out the window. TALIESIN: Shoot out the window? LAURA: Just act on the fly like Scanlan did. It
turned out okay. MATT: Do your thing, Percy. Do your thing. What
are you doing? TALIESIN: Okay, I’m going to be helpful. I’m going
to burn my action to get into the room. MATT: Okay. Where do you want to get on this
side? TALIESIN: Right there. MATT: Right there? TALIESIN: Yeah, I want to stand right there. MATT: Okay, so you just swing around (fwwwt) to
the inside. You look up and immediately you see this curved banister and a whole row of guards up
top with heavy crossbows. In the center, you can see some blur as Grog, Trinket, and some
individual are in the middle of this tussle. The individual currently has Grog grasped by the
throat. TALIESIN: How crazy– I don’t know if I can do
Minor Illusion that way right now. So I’m going to call Hex on that first guard there. MATT: Which one? Right there? TALIESIN: Yep. MATT: Okay. TALIESIN: I’m going to burn my action surge, and
I’m going to start taking my shots, and I’m just going to work my way up. MATT: Okay, so you swing around the corner and
look up at the one guard. As you concentrate for a second, bringing your gun up, your eyes begin to
go black again, the smoke pouring out from the corner of it. Smoke begins to pour out of the
midsection of the guard, who looks confused for a second, and it swirls around him as part of the
Hex that has him marked, as you release your next three blasts. TALIESIN: Okay. This is with sharpshooter. MATT: Okay. TALIESIN: That sucks. Ten? MATT: Ten misses. First shot just (ricochet noise)
goes wide, blasting a chunk out of the upstairs hallway. TALIESIN: 11. MATT: 11 also goes wide. This time (ricochet
noise) blasting part of the banister in front. The guard dodges out of the way as the wood splinters
past him. TALIESIN: Natural 20. MARISHA: That’s better! MATT: That’s the Percy we know. (laughs) TALIESIN: And so since that was a third shot, it
was also a bonus shot, so that’s got an extra– okay! Does that mean that everything gets
doubled? MATT: All dice gets doubled, and then you add the
modifier. TALIESIN: Not the modifier, though? MATT: Not the modifier, no. TALIESIN: Modifier stays the same. MATT: Correct. TALIESIN: Roll twice, or just double my die? MATT: Double the die. It’s faster. TALIESIN: Okay, so that’s– I should have just
used my– SAM: What device? TALIESIN: I know! I should have just used it. MARISHA: That’s not bad, though. TALIESIN: Nine, 13, 26. 42 points of damage. MATT: 42 points of damage? TALIESIN: And four of that was fire damage. MATT: And four of that was fire damage? Okay. As
you look up, (doosh) the first two shots fire and go wide. The third one, (explosion noise) just
explodes and in a blast of black smoke, the guard’s head is no longer across his shoulders. (cheering) TALIESIN: Okay, I move the black cloud to the next
guard. He also gains disadvantage on all– let’s make it dexterity saving throws. MATT: Ability checks. TALIESIN: Ability checks, yeah, so all dex
checks. MATT: So the smoke (whoosh) pours off the body and
coalesces around the next guard to his right. All right, that ends your turn. TALIESIN: That’s the end of my turn. MATT: Vax. LIAM: All right, I’ve got double speed. I go right
towards the table, make an acrobatics check to slide my ass across it– SAM: Are you doing what I did? MATT: Do an acrobatics check. MARISHA: Yes! Dukes of Hazzard! LIAM: Yeah. That is a 23? MATT: You (shhht) slide to there. SAM: You did it so much cooler than me! (laughter) LIAM: I want to slide into a crouch right behind–
I don’t want to go that far. Right by Percy, because I can’t go much further, I don’t think. MATT: At double movement? LIAM: Would I be able to make it to Grog and his
friend? If I can’t make it to Grog, I want to stay
at the door. If I can make it to Grog, I want to go to Grog. MATT: Slide will give you movement. Yeah, you can
get next to him. LIAM: I don’t want to go next to him, I want to go
and eviscerate the bowels of the fucker who’s fucking with him. MATT: Okay, so right there? LIAM: Yeah. MATT: Okay. Yeah, you can get up there. LIAM: Sneak attack because he’s engaged with
Grog. MATT: Correct. LIAM: So here comes the total. MARISHA: As he slides over the table in front of
me, I go, “That was pretty awesome. Bye. Good luck.” LIAM: All right, so… SAM: You need some daggers? LIAM: No. MATT: More daggers! LIAM: Wait. So. I’m alive! Rogue rules– MATT: Whatcha doing? LAURA: What are you doing? LIAM: Oh, I’m stabbing the guy three times! I’m
doing my catchphrase, man. Dagger, dagger, dagger! Oh, he’s already taken a turn in combat, okay. So.
I’m going to use luck on that first attack and go again– ooh, and I’ll use the first one. So the
first one was an 8 plus… 19 on the first? MATT: 19 hits. LIAM: All right. Second is a 19? MATT: Hits. LIAM: Third is 23. MATT: All three hit. Go ahead and roll damage.
Sneak attack on the first one. LIAM: All right, first one, I’m going to use my
Flametongue. It’s two plus… nine. And here comes the juice. Nine, 13, 17, 18, 20, 23, 25? That’s
the first one, and then second attack is three. This is the keen dagger, that’s a ten. And the
third attack is the Flametongue again for seven. MATT: Seven. Okay, gotcha. So you (fwoosh) dart in
a blur of darkness. You come swinging up. You can see Tylieri is currently grasping Grog. Out of the
corner of his eye, just sees the movement and looks over curiously as the blade is immediately
in his side. (pained scream) And now you can see the jowls shake from the impact of the dagger
blow, and he looks down angrily at you, fangs bared as the two other attacks hit his side. LIAM: Yeah, I’m looking him right in the eye as I
do that, too. MATT: At the end of your turn, he uses two of his
legendary actions– LIAM: I’m wearing my helmet, my shiny helmet. MATT: I know. To look at you, reach up with the
throat that he’s grasped, and sink his fangs directly into your throat, Grog. TRAVIS: (angry noise) I have a little collar. Does
that help at all? MATT: Not in this moment. You have a big neck.
Very big neck, and a very tiny collar. (laughs) That will be a 20 to hit? TRAVIS: Yep. MATT: All righty. So you take nine points of
piercing damage. TRAVIS: Is that halved? MATT: That is halved. Yeah. So say five, round up. TRAVIS: Sure. MATT: However, you do take 14 points of necrotic
damage. That is not reduced. But your maximum hit points are now reduced by 14. TRAVIS: Got it. MATT: As you feel that same similar cold feeling
as the life blood’s being drained out of your body and you see his eyes cresting at you with this
wild glare. That ends your turn, Vax? LIAM: Yeah, that’s it. MATT: It is now his turn. SAM: Spider-man? MATT: Yeah, now he’s taking his turn. He’s now
going to go ahead and make another bite attack on you again. As he pulls back and reaches his
forearm and grabs the other side of your throat, going for the other side of the jugular. TRAVIS: Isn’t this a Grog buffet? MATT: That’s a natural one, though. (cheering) SAM: Oh, because you’ve got your necklace on. MATT: However, he does have advantage on you
because you used your reckless strike. SAM: Never use reckless strike again. LIAM: Doesn’t it cancel out after one roll?
Advantage versus disadvantage is one roll, right? TRAVIS: It ended on the first attack, right? MATT: It was a one on the first attack, yeah. It’s
until your next turn. Attacks against you get advantage. TRAVIS: Oh, I thought his first bite was the first
one. SAM: Wait, so all attacks, even follow-up attacks
get advantage, even though he only gets advantage on the first one? MATT: I’ll read it for you right now. It’s a cool
ability when you’re not the only tank in the room. SAM: No, it is not! It’s the worst ability ever. LAURA: It’s a good ability if you’re only fighting
one person. MATT: Yeah, but attack rolls against you have
advantage until your next turn. LIAM: Because he’s out of it. He’s going cuckoo. SAM: Wait, did you not have– Jesus, never use
that thing again. TRAVIS: I’m using it every time. (laughter) MATT: Doing so gives you advantage on melee weapon
attack rolls using strength during this turn. So yes, I apologize. It does give you advantage on
all of your attacks. I misread that. TRAVIS: (quietly) Oh, shitfuck. (louder) That’s
okay. That’s okay! LIAM: Stuff happens. Give him a bonus 15 HP or
something. MATT: That’s okay. Yeah, it’s fine. But going
forward, good to know. So it does give you advantage on all of your attacks. TRAVIS: Copy that. MATT: It’s the first attack is the one that
confused me on the way it was worded. Sorry, folks. I know better now. But for that, I say the
one stands as retribution for me forgetting the rule. (cheering) MATT: So he goes in to strike for the bite. This
time, however, he does manage to catch the chainmail coif that Scanlan had made you. His
fangs get caught on the chain. (grunts) TRAVIS: Like making out with braces. MATT: He pulls away, releases you– no, doesn’t
release you. As he’s holding you there, he’s going to go ahead and make a claw strike across your
face. Two and, oh. That’ll be a 19. TRAVIS: That does hit. MATT: He does hit? Okay. You take eight points of
slashing damage, reduced to four because of your rage. That ends his turn. Grog, you’re up now. TRAVIS: Am I still grappled? MATT: You’re still grappled, yeah. TRAVIS: I’d like to try and break the grapple. MATT: Okay, so you use your action to try and
break the grapple. So athletics roll of? TRAVIS: 22. MATT: Yeah, you (boof) just shove him off without
a problem. TRAVIS: Awesome. MATT: You still have your bonus action to strike,
if you like. TRAVIS: Can I use my bonus action to try and
grapple him back? MATT: Not as a bonus action, unfortunately. It’s
an action to do that. TRAVIS: I will attack, yeah. Just one, right?
(whoosh) MATT: One strike, yeah. TRAVIS: Okay. Fuck yes! 21? MATT: 21 does hit, yeah. TRAVIS: Awesome! And that is badass. Nine, 17. 22.
22 with the fire damage. MATT: 22 damage. All right. (whack) And you’re
watching, as he does all these actions, you see his body begin to reform and the wounds beginning
to heal themselves in the vampiric manner. But as soon as that wound begins to sew up, you take
your hammer and (boof) slam it into him again, reopening, and you can see now parts of his
muscles are exposed, a deep purplish color, this very unnatural interior to his flesh. You can see
it burn as the flames cauterize the edges of the wound. Awesome. Does that finish your turn? Do you
want to move at all? TRAVIS: I’m staying. Is Trinket still behind me? MATT: Trinket is currently flanking the guy. TRAVIS: Yeah, no. I’ll stay. MATT: Okay, that brings us to the guards’ turn.
They all reload their crossbows. These four are now going to make shots at you, Percy. These three
are going to take shots– all five of these guys are going to take shots at Grog now. They’re
trying to take you down so they can move onto the next target. So four shots on you, Percy. That is
20? TALIESIN: That hits. MATT: 18? TALIESIN: That hits. MATT: 20? TALIESIN: That hits. MATT: And 11. TALIESIN: That does not hit. MATT: Okay, so you take from three heavy crossbow
bolts at you. Seven, 19, 32 points of piercing damage. All three bolts stick
into your chest. They’re big, long, thick, heavy crossbow bolts. One of them gleans off your
shoulder and catches the edge of the wall, but the other two have actually sunk into your torso and
are sticking out of you. The other five against you, Grog. TRAVIS: Yep. MATT: Since you did not do reckless strike last
time, they are not with advantage. That is 19? TRAVIS: Hits. MATT: 12? TRAVIS: Misses. MATT: Oh, that’s a 25. TRAVIS: Hits. MATT: That is a 19? TRAVIS: Hits. MATT: Last one is a 24. TRAVIS: Yep, so four out of the five. MATT: Yep. That’s 11 plus seven. 18. TRAVIS: 18. MATT: Plus eight. 25. TRAVIS: 26. MATT: Plus 13. So 39. TRAVIS: 39. Half. MATT: 18. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: 18 points of piercing damage again. Bolts
are sticking out of your body all over. You almost have additional armor from the number of bolts
that are on your body, but you’re still standing there, frothing at the mouth, angry, just like,
“Come at me!” That ends the guards’ turn. They all reload their bolts and pull their crossbows up.
Vex, you’re up. LAURA: Yay! Can I get up to the doorway? Tell me
that I can. MATT: With a dash, you can, yeah. LAURA: But I don’t get any action, then. MATT: Unfortunately, no. LAURA: Damn it! TRAVIS: Janet. LAURA: Damn it, Janet! All right, Trinket’s just
going to try to claw him. MATT: Okay. Go ahead. Two attacks from Trinket. LAURA: Yep. LIAM: Make it good. SAM: Come on, you’re my favorite bear, Trinkie. LAURA: That hits him. That definitely hits him. LIAM: 16 plus a lot. LAURA: Yeah. MATT: Oh, yeah, that hits him. LAURA and LIAM: A natural 20! (cheering) TRAVIS: (laughs) Trinket got a natural 20? MATT: All right, so damage on the first strike? SAM: That was a critical “rawrl.” LAURA: 11 for the first, and then– TRAVIS: So sour it was sweet. LIAM: Three plus seven is ten. 20? Which part
doubles? LAURA: Just the dice doubles? MATT: The dice doubles, yeah. LAURA: 13 for the second attack. MATT: So a total of 23 damage? All right. LAURA: 24 damage. MATT: 24 damage. How does Trinket want to do
this? (cheering) LAURA: He really just killed a vampire? LIAM: Is this a first?! TALIESIN: This is a first. TRAVIS: I think it’s Trinket’s first kill. MARISHA: Trinket! LAURA: Trinket claws crosswise and takes off his
head with a bite. MATT: Okay. So as Trinket reaches down, (whoosh)
arcing both claws across his back, Tylieri is dropped to his hands and knees, looks up as
Trinket then puts his jaws down over the head and lifts up. As you see the flesh begin to tear on
his body, he screams out in pain as the body (fluttering sound) turns to mist. LAURA: Damn it! He’s a vampire! LIAM: Wait, is the mist there? MATT: The mist is there, yeah. There’s a clump of
mist where he once was. LIAM: Somebody light a match! MARISHA: I’m coming! LAURA: So the head disappears from his mouth, or
did he still get a big taste? MATT: There’s still some thick, purplish,
congealed blood in his mouth, but the vampire’s form has been forced to mist at zero hit points.
All right, that brings us to Keyleth. MARISHA: Okay! So seeing Vax go over the table
and being like, “That was cool,” I’m also going to be like (grunts) over the table. I’m going to join
the Dukes of Hazzard train. MATT: Acrobatics check. MARISHA: Damn it. That’s not bad! MATT: It’s not a huge difficulty. MARISHA: Acrobatics? 17? MATT: 17, yeah. You jump up (shh) slide across,
land across. The bonus there is that it takes only one block of movement to get across. That’s five
foot there. MARISHA: So I’m going to come in and I see a
headless dude with mist swirling around him? MATT: No, you just see Grog, Vax, and Trinket in
the center of this foyer, with a big cloud of mist near Trinket and Grog, and an entire array of
guards with heavy crossbows trained down on the three of them in this ambush pit. SAM: Would she know what it was? LAURA: Yeah, you would! We’ve learned about
vampires. We know they turn into mist. LIAM: Yeah, the vampires down by the tree did
this. They misted in. TRAVIS: Sunlight that shit. LAURA: Sunbeam! MARISHA: Someone could yell at me to do it. TALIESIN: (shouts) Sunlight! MATT: I would say… make an intelligence check. MARISHA: Okay. This one. SAM: Ooh, that’s the intelligent dice. TALIESIN: Yes, it is. MARISHA: Yes, it is. Just with my modifier? MATT: Yeah. MARISHA: Wait, is this a saving throw? Just my
modifier, so 17. MATT: 17. Okay. I’d say, given the circumstance
right now, just rushing in and seeing mist there and people with things, you have no idea that’s a
vampire, you have no reason to believe that’s a vampire, you just know that right now there is–
I’m just being honest here! You walk in the room and there’s a little bit of mist on the ground and
there’s a bunch of guards up there. It looks like there’s a threat of a bunch of guards in the
room. TRAVIS: Identify it. It’s a vampire. LAURA: You know it now. MATT: (laughs) Grog, in the middle of a frenzied
rage, would not have that– TALIESIN: I would have enough to point and say–
oh, for the love of god. Okay, fine. MATT: Keyleth, take your turn. LAURA: Oh, man. MATT: No more metagaming. Take your turn. What do
you want to do? TRAVIS: What are you doing? MARISHA: Well, I know what I want to do, but I
can’t do it without feeling guilty! I was going to Sunbeam this bitch. MATT: It only makes sense. I’m just saying. MARISHA: What makes sense? That I wouldn’t know? MATT: That you wouldn’t know that that little bit
of mist on the ground there is a vampire. There’s no way that Keyleth would know that based on the
way you– LIAM: Just missed it. MATT: Yeah, you just missed it. MARISHA: I would just see a black mist? MATT: It’s just a mist. TRAVIS: We’ve got a ton of other people in the
room, though. MATT: And there’s black smoke around one of the
guards up there. MARISHA: Well, if I saw a black mist, what I would
probably do, realistically, is think it was some sort of poison shit and I would Wind Wall it. So
I’m going to (goosh) Wind Wall that mist. MATT: Okay. All righty. Let’s see. (laughs) This
should actually be pretty interesting. MARISHA: (weakly) It’s what I would assume it was,
but I might be aiding it in getting away. MATT: All right. MARISHA: This is bullshit. MATT: All right, so. You put a Wind Wall up
(fwoosh) in this area. You can see the mist dissipates for a second and holds its place.
However, this Wind Wall is now currently held up in this area. That’s your action. MARISHA: I Wind Wall it to keep, essentially do
the Wind Wall– MATT: Here? MARISHA: Yeah, around Grog. MATT: Right at this area? MARISHA: Yeah, I’d want to protect him from the
crossbows. MATT: Okay. So there’s just wind rushing up
around. You can see the tapestries on the walls are flickering around. MARISHA: And then I once again go, “Scanlan!
Scanlan!” MATT: There’s a little bit of crackling through.
You’re right at the cusp of the distance on these communicators. Scanlan, you hear bits and pieces.
At this point in time right now, you’re– SAM: I’m on the roof? MATT: You’re hearing crackling in your ear, but
you’re still on the roof doing the chaos, so you haven’t heard anything really coming through, at
this point. LAURA: “Doing the chaos.” MATT: You’re going to stay right there? SAM: I’m doing this thing. MATT: Yeah, you’re trust-falling off the roof. MARISHA: Yeah, I’m going to back into the corner
and keep this Wind Wall up. MATT: Okay, just concentrating on the Wind Wall.
That brings us up to Percy. TALIESIN: I take my next shot at the next crossbow
bugger. MATT: Go for it. TALIESIN: That’s 15? MATT: 15? Just misses. TALIESIN: God damn it. MATT: It hits the armor and it (ricochet noise)
ricochets off. MARISHA: So am I encapsulating the mist in my Wind
Wall? I’m kind of trapping the mist in? MATT: The Wind Wall itself is not a full circle,
it’s just a semi-circle. MARISHA: A half-circle, yeah, but is it stuck in
the wall? MATT: It’s currently overlapped with it, yeah. MARISHA: Okay. TALIESIN: That’s 22. MATT: 22 to hit? TALIESIN: Yeah. MATT: Hits. TALIESIN: It hit. That’s 18 points of damage. MATT: All righty. And you have your third attack. TALIESIN: My third attack, also on him, is also
22. MATT: That hits, as well. TALIESIN: And that’s– ooh, that sucks. Two points
of ice damage plus 11 points of normal damage. MATT: 13 total. Okay. So (doosh) the last two
blasts hit him, and you can see, he almost gets thrown off his feet from the impact. There’s now
blood trickling out from under his helmet from where one of the blasts got his chin. One into his
chest. He’s still standing up, barely, and he’s still confused by this smoke that’s swirling
around him. Are you going to stay where you are? TALIESIN: I’m going to take a step forward. MATT: Right there? TALIESIN: Up the stairs. MATT: Up the stairs. Okay. TALIESIN: Yeah. MATT: Just ominously stepping up the stairway. I
like it. That brings us to Vax. LIAM: Right, so I’m going to start rushing up the
stairs. Before I do, I’m going to spank Grog as hard as I can on the ass and say, “Kill!” And run
up the stairs at the first guy who’s enveloped in Percy’s smoke and start stabbing him. MATT: Okay. He’s up above the banister, so you
probably have to– LIAM: There’s no balcony? MATT: No, the idea is the banister rides up and
there’s a wall along it, and then they’re all up on the second floor here looking down at this. LIAM: So there’s no way up there? MATT: You could leap up. Make an acrobatics check
to leap up and over the banister. LIAM: That’s what I’ll do. Yeah, that’s good.
That’s 30. MATT: Yeah, you jump, grab it, flip over, land on
the balcony next to the guy enveloped in smoke. LIAM: And I stab him. MATT: Go for it. LIAM: Okay. Did the leaping take any of my
actions? It’s movement? MATT: No, it’s part of your movement. LIAM: Okay, so that’s 22. MATT: 22 hits. LIAM: And a 16. And a one. MATT: First two hit. LIAM: Yeah, okay. The first one is the Flametongue
dagger. That is four plus six is ten. And the second one is the keen dagger, and that is two
plus seven is nine. MATT: All right. As you rush up, the guard looking
at you, confused, the smoke swirling around him. (stabbing sounds) As the first two daggers stab
in, the second one actually finds between his ribs up to where his heart is, and you see him gasp for
a second as he crumples beneath your grip, and you slide the blade out as he crumples to the ground. LIAM: That’s the button. MATT: (laughs) That is the dead button. All right.
That ends your turn. Tylieri– SAM: Wait, he’s still alive? LAURA: He’s a mist. MATT: All right, the mist pushes past. He’s going
to use some action to move. LAURA: He pushes past the Wind Wall? But it says
that figures caught in a gaseous form can’t pass through the Wind Wall. In the spell. MARISHA: That it does. LAURA: I just read it. MARISHA: That’s my motherfucking Wind Wall! LAURA: So it’s going to screw up my arrows, so I
was checking in. But yeah, it also says, “creatures in gaseous form can’t pass through
it.” SAM: Why would they even have a hypothetical for
that? LIAM, MARISHA, and TALIESIN: Because of this! TALIESIN: Because of the things right here. MARISHA: It’s coming in handy. LIAM: Thanks, Mike Mearls! MATT: However, as part of that, then Trinket is
also in the Wind Wall, as well, just as a note. So Trinket will be taking bludgeoning damage for
being within it. So just as a heads-up. In fact, right now, have Trinket make a strength saving
throw. MARISHA: Sorry. LAURA: It’s okay. SAM: Is it like a hurricane or something? MARISHA: It’s a wall of wind. LAURA: Eight? MATT: Okay. Trinket takes 3d8 bludgeoning damage. MARISHA: How much? MATT: Go ahead and roll 3d8. LIAM: 3d8. Up to 24. SAM: Whoa. MATT: Yeah. I thought you were capturing him
inside. I didn’t realize you had it actually on him, and so having the Wind Wall on him to prevent
him from moving would also have Trinket in it, yeah. MARISHA: It could be worse. That’s six plus four,
so ten. LIAM: He’s had worse. He’ll be fine. LAURA: Yeah. Okay. MATT: All right, so that will make it actually
more here. So Tylieri cannot break through. Tylieri stays there in mist form, being caught in
the whirlwind. Grog, you’re up. TRAVIS: I’m up? MATT: Yep. TRAVIS: Well, I can’t get through the– I mean, I
don’t know what the fuck– MARISHA: You can get through the Wind Wall. TRAVIS: What am I going to do to gas? Hit it? Can
I start running up the motherfucking stairs and jump up like Vax did? He said to kill! MATT: All right, yeah. You can get up to there,
and you’re just within reach to get one guy over the banister, probably. TRAVIS: Yeah! I’d like to do that. That’s a 23. MATT: That hits. More attacks? TRAVIS: Yes. Oh, how many attacks do I get? MATT: All of them. That was just your movement. TRAVIS: Yay, I get all of them?! That’s amazing. MATT: Your barbarian 40 feet of crazy movement. TRAVIS: Yay! 22! MATT: Yep. TRAVIS: Shit! 12. MATT: 12 does not hit. TRAVIS: (laughing) Okay. MATT: (laughs) The first two hit. TRAVIS: 13. 17 for the first one. MATT: All right, 17 damage. TRAVIS: 15, and 17 again. Two plus two. MATT: Nice. All right, so (whack) the hammer comes
streaking down, slamming into the guard there. His crossbow shatters from the impact and the flames
begin to lick up the front of his body. The second slam smacks him again. This time, you hear the
armor ring out from the metal-on-metal impact. He kind of shakes from it. The third time you’re just
in the middle of this series of swinging and he backs up, and you end up smashing the banister
instead of him, the hammer cracking part of the ground on the second floor. He looks pretty messed
up from that series of attacks. All right, that ends your turn, Grog. It’s now the guards’ turn. TRAVIS: Come at me, bro. MATT: This guard’s going to move over here.
They’re all like, “Oh god.” These three here are going to attempt to fire on Trinket through the
Wind Wall. These two are going to fire at you, Grog, and these two are going to longsword you.
They pull out their longswords. This one’s going to turn with his crossbow and fire at you, Vax. So
first is the attack at you with the crossbow. That is a 20? LIAM: Oh, yeah, that hits. MATT: You take– ooh, that’s a ten– 13 points of
piercing damage as the bolt strikes you right in the chest, cracking your sternum a little bit.
You’re like, (groans) that’s going to suck. You feel the scraping of the bone as it impacts. The
two with the longswords against you, Grog. TRAVIS: Yep. MATT: That is 18? TRAVIS: Misses. MATT: That is a 12. TRAVIS: Misses! MATT: Both of the blades come at you. One of them
actually hits your shoulder, but it just sticks an inch into the flesh, and you just flex and the
blade pops out. The second one swings out and you duck your head out of the way and it (whoosh) goes
long and you just grin through the anger. That’s awesome. Then these two are going to fire
crossbows at you, Grog. That is going to be a 15? TRAVIS: Misses. MATT: And a 23. TRAVIS: Damn, I was almost Neo, just dodging all
sorts of shit. MATT: Another ten. 13 points of piercing damage. TRAVIS: Halved to seven? MATT: Half that to seven, yeah. And then now the
three aiming at Trinket. They all have disadvantage, I believe? LAURA: Nothing can shoot through the Wind Wall. MATT: Nothing can shoot through it at all? LAURA: Arrows can’t go through it, it said. MATT: At all?! TRAVIS: She said begrudgingly. LAURA: Which fucking sucks. MARISHA: Well, I mean, it’s going to save a bear,
right? After I punched him with the wind. SAM: Yeah, and also kill the bear. MATT: Yeah, they automatically miss. They all
three fire through. All bolts just (shhh) get scattered across the room. LAURA: Yeah, it goes straight up to the roof, it
says. MATT: Wind Wall. That’s awesome. LAURA: Does the Wind Wall go all the way up to the
ceiling, or does it go to a certain height? MARISHA: 15 foot high. MATT: 50 feet long, 15 feet high. So it doesn’t go
all the way to the ceiling. In fact, it gets just a little bit past the second floor, so it’s about
the height of the guys on the second platform. That ends their turn. Vex, you’re up. LAURA: Okay. I’m going to tell Trinket to get out
of the Wind Wall. MATT: Okay. SAM: The Wind Wall gets an attack of opportunity. (laughter) LAURA: Well, he’s going to move. MATT: He goes to the front door. LAURA: And he’s going to be very happy to see me
come around the corner of that door. MATT: All right. LAURA: Where I will see a bunch of dudes up high,
and I want to try to do Conjure Barrage up and over the Wind Wall and in an arc downward on
everybody on the other side of it. MATT: Interesting. Okay. LAURA: It’s like a (whoo, boom). TRAVIS: A half-pull. MATT: Yeah, which at this short distance, is not a
lot of strength to get the lob. LAURA: I’m a really skilled archer. I’m kind of
like Legolas. MATT: But if you’re shooting up this way? The Wind
Wall itself only really encompasses the bottom of the foyer, so if you go up the stairs a little
bit, you will be able to get these guys here. LAURA: Can I get up there? MATT: Yeah. LAURA: Oh, yeah! Fuck yeah, I’ll do it and try to
get everybody in that cone. Sorry, guys. TRAVIS: Nope. Make it rain. MATT: Yeah, you’re going to hit all of them. TRAVIS: Just go for it. I’m a fan of one-dollar
bills. LIAM: I can take it. LAURA: Okay. Wait, I’ve got to see how this works.
I just throw it in the air and it turns into a cone. MATT: Yep. LAURA: So I don’t have to attack? MATT: They should have a saving throw, I believe,
right? LAURA: Yeah, they have a dexterity saving throw. MATT: Everyone make a dexterity saving throw. Or
at least you two. LIAM: Yeah. TRAVIS: Do I have advantage– I don’t know. LAURA: I’m casting this as a 3rd-level. MATT: One guy makes the saving throw. LIAM: 25. TRAVIS: 20. MATT: You all succeed. One of the villains makes
it, and they both make it. Is it half-damage, right? LAURA: What about all those guys up at the top? MATT: That’s what I’m saying. This guy made it,
these two didn’t. LAURA: What about the other ones? MATT: Are you doing it from this perspective?
These will go through the Wind Wall, so the Wind Wall itself will prevent it from getting to
either. This guy will probably be hit, actually. LAURA: Okay. MATT: He fails. So yeah, these guys are unaffected
because the Wind Wall prevents the barrage from that point. So just go ahead and roll damage. LAURA: So I can’t get a critical hit on this
because I don’t have to roll? MATT: Correct. TRAVIS: That’s good. LAURA: 16, am I right? 16. Okay. MATT: 16 damage? LAURA: Yeah. MATT: All right, so it’s half that for saves,
right? LAURA: Yeah. MATT: All right, so eight damage, four damage. LIAM: Oh, uncanny dodge. MATT: Okay. LIAM: Half that. So what did you give me for
damage? TALIESIN: You had eight. LIAM: Eight? That’s four. LAURA: And then as a bonus action, I’m going to
Hunter’s Mark. Who looks the strongest? TRAVIS: Me. LAURA: Not you. MATT: (laughs) They’re all pretty standard.
There’s one dude over here that appears to be commanding them. LAURA: Yeah, I want to hit him! MATT: Okay, you Hunter’s Mark him. All righty. He
is Hunter’s Marked. All righty. By the way, the guy that Grog had slammed? The barrage (arrow
impact) riddles him with arrows and he falls over and is like (gasps) and crumples to the ground.
The last bit of health that he had. TRAVIS: You took away my playmate! MATT: Vex, that’s the end of your turn. Keyleth,
you’re up. MARISHA: Okay. So I’m going to keep maintaining
this Wind Wall and wrap it up around the mist to double-enforce it, and I’m going to scream, “What
is this?” LAURA: I don’t know! MATT: All right, and then what are you doing? TALIESIN: “It’s a vampire!” I’m putting my gun
away, anyway. MATT: Okay. MARISHA: Does that count? LIAM: It’s a vampire. We just killed him. Sort
of. MATT: Be warned: treading thin ice with metagaming
with your DM going forward, but yes. You have now heard it from Percy. MARISHA: I’m not metagaming! I’m legitimately
asking whether this counts! MATT: I know. That’s fine. This counts, it’s fine.
You heard Percy say, “Vampire!” TALIESIN AND LAURA: Vampire! MARISHA: (weakly) Oh! Great! TALIESIN: What’s that charisma score, again? Where
is it? SAM: And we fade to black. LAURA: Drop your fucking Wind Wall so I can hit
something! MARISHA: I’ll drop the Wind Wall and cast Sunbeam
and, eyes flashing, light just (goom), right in the concentrated beam where I have this mist
there. MATT: Okay. LIAM: And stuff. MARISHA: And stuff. MATT: Okay. Yeah, that will be considered direct
sunlight. As you release the Wind Wall, the mist immediately begins to push its way this way out of
the room. However, you catch it, your eyes glow, and as you release your hand forward, a blast of
pure sun energy shoots forth from your hands. You see it burning the back wall like a big, thick
laser, and as the mist tries to escape, you catch up to it, and you hear this faint, echoing,
screeching cry as the mist immediately is evaporated on impact. (explosion noise) LAURA: Can we loot the mist? TRAVIS: (laughs) “Can we loot the mist?” MATT: You can fill a pocket with ash, if you
like. TRAVIS: Come on, at least some coins falling? LAURA: (ding ding ding) Like Scott Pilgrim? Oh,
look! Coins. (laughs) MARISHA: That’s my turn. MATT: All righty. SAM: Wait, can you use your bonus action to wink
at Matt to ask for forgiveness? MARISHA: Why doIhave to ask for forgiveness?! MATT: Percy, you’re up. MARISHA: I can use my bonus action to heal
somebody, if someone wants it. Actually, how about this? I used my bonus action to ask what the shit
was this. MATT: There you go. MARISHA: Does that make you feel better? MATT: Sure. TALIESIN: What’s the damage on my rapier, again?
Was it 1d10 plus– MATT: 1d8. It’s a plus-one rapier, so it’s 1d8
plus your dexterity modifier, plus one, so it would be plus seven for you. TALIESIN: Okay. Then in that case, I’m going to
bring my Hex up to the very next– MATT: Right there? TALIESIN: And I’m going to put my gun away,
walk up to him, and begin stabbing. MATT: All right. One, two, three, four, five. At
that height you’re going to have to leap up onto the second floor to get to him. TALIESIN: Oh, that’s right. MATT: Yeah, so go ahead and make an acrobatics
check, if you want. TALIESIN: I’m just going to walk up, not quite
that close, but one step back. MATT: Okay, so there? TALIESIN: Take my next three shots. MATT: Walk up the stairs. Go for it. TALIESIN: That’s 21. MATT: Hits. TALIESIN: That’s 23. MATT: Hits. TALIESIN: I’m going to stop there in case that
kills him. MATT: Okay. Go ahead and roll damage. TALIESIN: Actually, I had to reload anyway. MATT: So there you go. So your third attack is to
reload. TALIESIN: All three was reload, attack, attack. MATT: Okay. TALIESIN: So that’s 16. MATT: 16. All righty. TALIESIN: 14. MATT: (gunshot) He is blasted out of place. You
can see there’s a gaping hole across where one of his lungs was located, and he (groans) crumples to
the ground into a pile. TALIESIN: Okay, I move the mist to the next guy. MATT: All righty. You use a bonus action to
re-curse him, by the way. TALIESIN: I had a bonus action, so I just used
it. MATT: That’s right, you do. Technically, you used
the bonus action this turn to put it onto him from the last turn. TALIESIN: Did I? You’re technically correct, so go
ahead. MATT: You’re probably going to do it on your next
turn, anyway, so we’ll just leave it there. It’s fine. But keep that in mind, as this is a new
ability. LIAM: (sneezes) MATT: Gesundheit. LAURA and MARISHA: Bless you. MATT: All right. Vax, you’re up. LIAM: Is that fellow who’s enveloped in schmutz
right next to Grog? MATT: Yep. LIAM: Yeah, I’m going to stab him. (laughter) SAM: Your answer for everything. LIAM: First one is not that great. It’s a 14. MATT: 14 misses. LIAM: Second one is a 26. MATT: You are flanking him, though. You have
advantage on the attack. LIAM: Oh, well let’s do that again, then. We’ll
call that a 27 instead. MATT: That hits. LIAM: And then the second one is now a 20, and the
third one is a 26. (shunk, shunk, shunk) Two plus seven is nine for the keen dagger, and then for
the life-stealing dagger is a seven, and then back to the keen dagger, that is an 11. LAURA: Don’t you get sneak attack damage? LIAM: Oh, right. Yeah, I’ll put that in. Thank
you. MATT: I was like, “Where’s that? That’s the whole
point of this.” SAM: All those?! Holy crap. LIAM: Eight, nine, ten, 11, 17, 19. MATT: (explosion noise) LAURA: Oh, no, Grog! MARISHA: Oh god, you killed Grog! MATT: Yeah, the daggers cut through his
midsection, and you see where the armor plating itself was exposed from the first strike. The last
one you just jam up into his torso, taking out any major organs. LIAM: I would also like to boot him over the side
as I do this. MATT: (groans) He falls over (thudding) down the
stairs, past you, Percy. You let him tumble by as he slides to a stop at the very bottom of the
stairs. LAURA: I put my foot on him to stop him. MATT: Okay, Vex stops him in place, face-down.
There’s a smear of his blood across the steps. This once-nice, fine wood is now completely coated
in crimson. (laughs) Okay. Grog, you’re up. TRAVIS: Is it me? (stuttering) Is it just a row of
guys in front of me? MATT: Yeah. TRAVIS: I would like to hold my turn. Because if I
stand in front of them, nobody can do anything to them. SAM: You can. LAURA: That’s nice of you. You could just go
(whoosh) and cross them off. MARISHA: How many’s left? MATT: There are five nervous-looking guards right
now. MARISHA: They were trying to haul ass out? TRAVIS: Nah, I’ll hold. Whoever’s next can go. SAM: So polite. LAURA: That is really kind of you, Grog. MATT: That ends your turn. It is now the guards’
turn. They all… LAURA: Run away. MARISHA: They’re going to try and flee, aren’t
they? MATT: They look to each other, and their one
leader goes like, “Men, run!” They all rush and leap off the balcony, try and catch themselves
there. LIAM: See those acrobatics checks… LAURA: I want them all to fall, please. MARISHA: Eat it. Make them all eat it. MATT: Okay. Three of them land fine and begin
bolting forward. Two of them fall. One of them (cracking noise) breaks his ankle and falls to the
ground going (scream). The other one slams into his hip on the ground and falls prone. These guys
are prone. These three continue to move forward to there. They’re going for a full dash. LAURA: Does Trinket get an attack of opportunity? MATT: Against one of them. He can only take one
reaction per turn. They all rush out. LAURA: That definitely hits him, though. MATT: All righty. LAURA: 27. MATT: 27 hits. Go ahead and roll damage. LAURA: 11. MATT: 11 points of damage. Across that guy. Okay.
Trinket reaches out and strikes across one of the guys, the guy you Hunter’s Marked, who takes the
claw across the side of his head, and you hear him yell out in pain, (scream) as he makes it out into
the rain. Hurt, but not taken down. He continues to run past, and they all dart outside into the
rainstorm. TRAVIS: I’ll take my turn now. MATT: (laughs) Okay, Grog. TRAVIS: I leap over the banister with my war
hammer high and jump down on the guy that’s closest to me, bringing it down with a reckless
attack and great weapon master. MATT: Okay, make an athletics check for the jump. TRAVIS: Okay. SAM: Oh no, don’t fall on your ass. TRAVIS: Okay, that’s true. 13. MATT: I’ll give you advantage on this because
you’re raging and it’s reckless and it’s just funnier. TRAVIS and LAURA: That’s better! TRAVIS: 24. MATT: 24, yeah. You leap in the air (whoosh) like
slow-motion (whoosh, explosion) down on top. Go ahead and roll three attacks on him. TRAVIS: Amazing, that’s 27. That’s 26. MATT: Roll damage on those. TRAVIS: Okay, not a problem. Ten, 19, 29 on the
first one. MATT: 29 on the first one? Okay. TRAVIS: (laughing) And 28 on the second one. MATT: So as you come down, the hammer blow slams
into his torso, his actual metal armor crinks inward, and he goes, (screams)
gasping in pain, as you’ve now jammed his own ribs into his internal organs. As you pull the hammer
up with a sludgy, sucking sound you see him look at you with this look of, “No!” and the hammer
comes down again. This time on top of his head, which, Gallagher watermelon, just (boosh) across
the floor of this. Done, you look over at his friend, who is like, (gasps) trying to back up
with his broken ankle. With your third attack, he’s within your range. LAURA: Oh god. TRAVIS: (inarticulate war cry) MATT: With advantage. TRAVIS: Oh, I don’t need it. That’s 27. MATT: Roll advantage just in case it’s a
critical. TRAVIS: Oh, it’s the same thing. It’s 27. MATT: Okay, there you go. That hits. TRAVIS: I know. I haven’t critted in forever. MATT: Even if you don’t need the advantage, it’s
nice to roll a second time in case because there’s a chance of a natural 20. TRAVIS: That’s 20, 30. MATT: 30 points of damage on him. (whack) This one
you actually bring down onto his other leg. That leg snaps. TRAVIS: Is he on his back? MATT: He’s on his back and he’s trying to pull
away from you. TRAVIS: Right on the knee. MATT: Right on the knee? (crack) It snaps
underneath and he screams out in pain as the hammer pulls back. You can see where the bone is
jutting out. You’ve actually taken off the lower half of his leg from the sheer bludgeoning force,
and he’s now bleeding out onto the ground a little bit. Not as much as he would be, because the flame
cauterized the impact from the hammer. SAM: (pained) So detailed. MATT: He is in a really, really bad place. All
righty. Vex, you’re up. LAURA: Well, I’m going to– should I shoot at the
guys running away? TRAVIS: Yes. LAURA: Yeah. Are they close by? MATT: They’re just out the front of the doors. LAURA: I’m going to come down and get in range. SAM: Don’t forget to tell them about Gilmore’s
Glorious Goods first. (laughter) SAM: We’re supposed to advertise! MATT: (giggles) Timing is everything. LAURA: I’m going to lightning arrow because
everything within ten feet is affected. MATT: Yeah, that would hit all three. All right,
you pull out your arrow. You aim it close. You can see the rain pouring down and they’re all running
out into the storm. You’re like, “Storm, that’s interesting.” And you release. LAURA: 27? No, that’s a lie. 19. MATT: Against the guy you’ve Hunter’s Marked? LAURA: Yeah. MATT: Yeah, that’ll hit. LAURA: And then get the rest of them? MATT: Yep. LAURA: So they have to make a dexterity saving
throw. MATT: Okay. This guy fails. What’s the DC on it? LAURA: That’s a good question. MATT: It should be at the top of your spell
sheet. LAURA: 15? MATT: 15? Okay, second guy fails. Guy who’s
Hunter’s Marked does succeed, so he takes half damage on it. LAURA: Okay, I’m hitting him initially, so he
takes 2d8. They all take 2d8. 17, 19, plus Hunter’s Mark on the first guy. They all take 19,
and then the extra guy takes an extra five. MATT: Okay. The guy that Trinket swiped just
screams (pained scream) as you can see the electricity charging through him, and the wet rain
that hit him has caused it to even give more– LAURA: I thought Trinket swiped the Hunter’s
Marked guy, though. MATT: Did he? LAURA: He did. MATT: Okay. LAURA: I remember you saying that. MATT: Then I’ll give you that. So the guy who is
Hunter’s Marked ends up destroyed, the electricity bouncing through his armor. He goes, (moan) and
falls to the ground and crumples over. The other two guys get jolted and almost knocked off their
feet. They’re both looking really, really rough, and they both look at each other (panting) and
just keep running with what little strength they have left. You still have a second attack, don’t
you? LAURA: I do. MATT: Go for it. LAURA: Okay. Oh, gosh. I’m going to shoot– SAM: You’re going to shoot people in the back. LAURA: No, I’m not going to shoot them in the
back. The guy on the ground, he looks like he’s in a lot of pain, doesn’t he? MATT: Oh, he’s not going anywhere. LAURA: I’m going to put him out of his misery. TALIESIN: We don’t want people running to report
we’re here, though. LAURA: Oh, really? So I should get the guys? LIAM: Get them, yeah! TALIESIN: No witnesses. TRAVIS: They might be vampires. TALIESIN: They mightcallvampires. LAURA: Okay. I can’t lightning arrow them again,
though. MATT: No, it’s a bonus action to cast it. LAURA: So I’ll just regular old attack and I can
only get one of them. LIAM: I yell out from the top, “Vex, no
survivors!” LAURA: All right, all right! MATT: (zoomf) Next arrow nocked. LAURA: That’s a 19 again. MATT: 19 hits. Go ahead and roll damage. LAURA: Okay. 13. MATT: 13 points of damage. (zoomf) That guy is,
through the back of the head, (zoomf, groan) and just slides through the mud for another two feet. LAURA: And I act like I have another, that I can
attack him again. I say, “Stop!” MATT: Make an intimidation check. LIAM and SAM: Come on, girl. LAURA: Natural 20! (cheering) TRAVIS: It is. It is. MATT: Watching his friend fall and slide in the
mud, he stops where he stands and looks over his shoulder, slowly turning around, shaking. LAURA: And I say, “Get inside now.” MATT: Okay. Next up is Keyleth. Are you going to
do anything? MARISHA: Do I kill him or do we keep him? SAM: You have to make that decision yourself. MARISHA: Is he coming back inside? LAURA: He’s standing there now. MATT: He’s currently standing about ten feet
outside in the rain, just (shaky breathing). MARISHA: Is that a window I’m up against, behind
me? MATT: Actually, no. There is no window to the
front here. It’s just a wall. MARISHA: I’m just going to go, “Excuse me. Excuse
me, Trinket. Sorry.” And I’m going to peek around the door and go (shkoof) and Sunbeam him. MATT: You’re going to Sunbeam? MARISHA: That guy. That scared-shitless guy. MATT: (laughs) Okay. What level is Sunbeam? MARISHA: It’s what I just did. MATT: What level is Sunbeam? MARISHA: Six. MATT: How many 6th-level spells per day can you
cast? MARISHA: It’s a concentration spell. MATT: Oh, that’s right! You can do it for up to a
minute. Good call. SAM: You can do that? MARISHA: It’s a concentration spell. I can keep
doing it for a minute. LAURA: That’s so freaking cool! MARISHA: Yeah, it’s pretty dope. SAM: I can do that, too? I didn’t know that. Well,
not that spell, but with anything. MATT: All right, so constitution save on him.
(laughs) No. Do damage. 12. MARISHA: 16. That’s 23 plus… 30 damage. Radiant
damage. (lightning noise) MATT: As he’s standing in the rain, shaking, and
looking at his friend, and looking at you, Keyleth steps into frame and goes, (boom). And before he
can go, “Wait!” and there’s just this scattering of ash that was once was his body. His armor is
left intact and just tumbles to the ground in this pile. You see smoke sizzling off the now-heated
armor. There’s no sign of his physical body anymore, just a smattering of mud that the ash has
now mixed with in the rain outside. Melt with prejudice, okay. TRAVIS: Got one guy left. MATT: Now as you guys are all gathering around,
we’ll say from a roleplaying standpoint, as there is no real immediate threat to you; there is one
guard left, who has currently one broken ankle and one missing lower half of his left leg, on the
ground, looking at you all, hyperventilating and trying to back away, like (panting). TRAVIS: Time to call the Sandman. MARISHA: Since I’m outside on the threshold of the
house, can I see where Scanlan might have lit up the other house yet? MATT: Make a perception check. MARISHA: 17? MATT: 17? You can see a little bit of a dark
stream in the distance. You can’t tell if it’s a nearby chimney or if it is the symbol of Scanlan.
The rainstorm does make it a little hard to see, at this point, and through the adrenaline pumping
in your system, and the fact that you just disintegrated two individuals in a short period of
time. You’re also wrestling with the morality of that and dealing with what you just did, so your
concentration doesn’t enable you to notice anything yet. MARISHA: Okay. TRAVIS: Who’s got questions for Peg-Leg over
here? LIAM: I do. I hop down off the balcony and walk up
by Grog. TALIESIN: I’m going to start exploring the
upstairs. MARISHA: I stay standing outside just staring out
into the distance, waiting for Scanlan’s cue. MATT: Okay. SAM: When you see my cue, attack. (laughter) MARISHA: Yeah, I know. Which is what we were
technically supposed to do. LAURA: No, we said we were waiting 30 seconds and
then going in. SAM: That was a terrible plan. TRAVIS: Greatest plan we’ve ever had. You were
amazing. LAURA: You know what? You were amazing, we killed
them, it was great. TRAVIS: I hold my hammer over his other knee and I
go, “Look, we can work on you one limb at a time, “or you can be very truthful and my friend can end
it all very, very quickly.” MATT: (panting) “What do you want?” LIAM: There’s no question, this is a bad situation
you’re in right now. We’re not looking for you at all. I’m happy to knock you out and leave you in a
closet here and lock it. If you want to help me find the Briarwoods, I really want to know where
the Briarwoods are. Not you. Just the people you work for. MATT: He looks around at the rest of the group,
sees you walk up the stairs. (panting) “They’re in “the bloody castle, where else would they be?” TRAVIS: In? Or under? LIAM: That’s a good question. MATT: “I don’t know. I don’t know. They spend
equal parts in both, as far as I know.” LAURA: I peek around my brother and go, “Isn’t
there anyone else in the house?” MATT: “No.” LAURA: If you’re lying, you’ll pay. MATT: “All of us who were here, we were waiting
for you.” LAURA: “Got it.” I go upstairs with Percy. TALIESIN: That mist is probably following me
around at this point, isn’t it? MATT: The black smoke, you mean? TALIESIN: Yeah. MATT: Oh, yeah. The black smoke is slowly trailing
behind you. With each step you take, it licks the back of your boots. TALIESIN: Oh, boy. Okay. LIAM: Is there anything else you can tell me in
regards to back doors or secrets that your bosses don’t want us to know? I mean, really, this is the
time to talk, right now. TRAVIS: Anything you use to identify each other? MATT: Go ahead and make an intimidation check.
With advantage because he has– SAM and MARISHA: One leg? MATT: He’s bleeding out right now. Wait, no, he’s
not bleeding out. He’s bleeding, but it’s a trickle because of the cauterization. LIAM: 21. MATT: 21. He gives you a look and says, “Look.
We’ve all been working for the Briarwoods. They “mean well. They have big plans, I know that. I
don’t know the details of it. They don’t tell us. “But we’re keeping guard on them. We were supposed
to stop this insurrection. These people. We “rounded up folks. We were given basic descriptions
and we hung people against the Sun Tree as a “warning. We hoped it wouldn’t come to any sort of
conflict, that you would take that as a means that “you weren’t supposed to be here. But then we all
saw what happened. What happened to Sir Kerrion “and his house, and that meant that you were here
and that you meant business, so Tylieri and “Vedmeyer, we waited for a signal. And we heard
that you were planning an attack, so we set up “guards here and prepared, and sure enough, you
showed up. Which let us know that our contacts are “good, and we thought that would be enough. We
didn’t realize you’d be walking in with whatever “the fuck this thing is. I don’t even know what you
are.” And he looks genuinely frightened at the fact that you, with all of these bolts sticking
out of your body, are still grinning above him. “Nothing should have survived that ambush.” LIAM: Let’s back this up a little bit. You hung
people from the Sun Tree? MATT: “Yeah, as a warning.” LIAM: “Where I saw that child?” I slit his
throat. MATT: (extended choking sounds) With a wet gurgle,
the life expires from his body, a pool beginning to form on the tile below him. TRAVIS: Nicely done, Vax. LIAM: Piece of shit. LAURA: So Percy and I are upstairs alone? MATT: Yes. TRAVIS: Can I check his body? MATT: (laughs) You begin rummaging through the
body. You’re keeping an eye out. Make another perception check. LAURA: I go upstairs, and I get Percy up against a
wall. I turn around and slam him against a wall. MATT: Okay. SAM: This is sexy. MARISHA: 27. LAURA: And I look him straight in the eye– SAM: And kiss him. LAURA: And I say, “Are you all right?” TALIESIN: I think so. LAURA: Look me in the eye, Percy. TALIESIN: I feel cruel, but in control. This is
controllable, at the moment. LAURA: “All right.” I’m insight-checking him. MATT: Go for it. Roll insight. LAURA: Shit, just shit. Ten. MATT: Ten? MARISHA: Fuck. MATT: What’s your charisma modifier? TALIESIN: My charisma modifier is two. MATT: Okay. He’s hard to read right now. His focus
is divided amongst your intensity and trying to answer your question. The pause in his throat
isn’t because he’s thinking, it’s because he grasps the words to describe it, but there is a
quiver to it, and you can see his hands are still shaking a little bit. And as you look down at his
hands, you can also see the smoke is still slowly swirling his ankle. TALIESIN: I’m fine, for now. I’ll let you know.
You’ll know if I’m not. LAURA: I will. TALIESIN: Yes. LAURA: I follow behind him closely. TALIESIN: Let’s keep looking. MATT: Okay. You start seeing, now, the dark plume
of smoke in the distance. Scanlan has apparently and effectively set the signal. You also do
notice, as you’re looking out, other people have left their homes now–


Hank Fahly

Jul 7, 2019, 2:41 pm Reply

Very late… matt is usually a very good dm but there is no way keyleth wouldnt know thats a vampire. They LITERALLY fought vampires that were mist. Plus keyleth made notes that vampires turn to mist if not killed correctly. So yeah i love matt but this battle was DM taboo all over


Jul 7, 2019, 6:41 am Reply

Fully agree with Marisha's fight that Keyleth knew it was Vampire Mist. They've been dealing with Vampires, they were fully aware of the possibility that they could run into one. She could hear the sound of a battle in the other room. I mean Keyleth has 22 wisdom… No way would that have escaped her notice.

Mahatma Christ The IV

Jul 7, 2019, 10:10 pm Reply

Is no one gonna talk about Percy becoming a Warlock?


Jul 7, 2019, 3:03 am Reply

Travis without a beard is a cursed image.

Trevor Saltzgaver

Jul 7, 2019, 7:27 am Reply

Did they level up because I swear percy only had 96 hp last episode and this one says 103 hp

chels m

Jul 7, 2019, 6:11 pm Reply

favored enemy: doors


Jul 7, 2019, 8:38 pm Reply

can we just appreciate scanlan yeeting the Goliath

Semper Ludens

Jul 7, 2019, 12:51 am Reply

This episode is completely filled with rule mistakes, and it's in my opinion also the best Critical Role episode ever. Maybe there is a connection?

Lesten Donaldson

Jul 7, 2019, 3:03 am Reply

they got the Skyrim musiccc


Jul 7, 2019, 3:26 pm Reply

Ok 2019 late arrival here but I dont mind spoilers so I slum around down here quite a bit during episodes.
That being said I've been dming 5e for almost 2 years. I'm an amateur by all rights. But watching Matt handle a split party both dealing with what amounts to two mini boss encounters was amazing.
I've run a few large scale battles and chaotic fights like these and Matt did amazing given the circumstances. It's also been barely 6 months of him running 5e by this point. He gets a A-/B+ for sure.

Stefan de Jong

Aug 8, 2019, 11:08 am Reply

Hmz, didn't Scanlan hold his action till they did their actions so it would be his turn again? Of course it has happened now but that kinda is wrong.

Your Mom hahaha

Aug 8, 2019, 9:15 am Reply

Scanlan’s master plan:
1: uhhhh
2: triceratops!
3: leave trike form and cast cloud


Hannah Shark

Aug 8, 2019, 10:39 am Reply

Damn i need Matts Giygas tshirt now

Alex Jobe

Aug 8, 2019, 1:18 pm Reply

That was amazing with Scanlan, but the triceratops stats sucking and then Matt telling him he couldn't use a higher level slot to cast dimension door or polymorph made me cringe so hard.

Alex Jobe

Aug 8, 2019, 3:57 pm Reply

My goodness. The tactics for house 2 were disgusting. Great rp though, Grog ?

Uhh Ok

Aug 8, 2019, 10:28 pm Reply

I know the group was trying not to be terribly cruel, but it pains me that Vax gave that one legless guard such a painless death

Amber Animatics

Aug 8, 2019, 11:19 pm Reply

Can we take the time to appreciate Sam tying his tie around his forehead?


Aug 8, 2019, 7:32 am Reply

Triceratops should have siege damage


Aug 8, 2019, 8:15 am Reply

Grog fucked up the plan goddamn Travis and his fucking damn good role playing

Jay Blue

Aug 8, 2019, 5:27 pm Reply

Why am I always eating when they beat someone into pulp??

TooManyTabz YT

Aug 8, 2019, 11:39 am Reply

On that day the steps became Redwood

poofballoon TM

Aug 8, 2019, 8:14 pm Reply

Why did it cut off early???


Aug 8, 2019, 2:54 am Reply

Any spell can be cast with any higher slot, most just have no bonus for it. Pity they missed that rule.

Ragnorok XDPX

Aug 8, 2019, 12:18 am Reply

Bigbys hand is a bonus action on subsequent turns to move and use an effect. They really gotta learn their spells a little better. Not that it mattered then. But still

Amber Blackwell

Aug 8, 2019, 2:04 pm Reply

Scanlan, the secret badass.

Sarita Smith

Aug 8, 2019, 10:35 pm Reply

Vax: "You hung them from the tree? Where I saw that child?"

Guard: "And I oop–"

Asbjørn Christensen

Aug 8, 2019, 10:19 pm Reply

The fact that Scanlan convinced the party to let him take on an entire house of bad guys on his own is impressive enough, but the fact that he was right about being able to handle it is just incredible

Vixe Vinweria

Aug 8, 2019, 3:17 pm Reply

Why does Scanlan's Triceratops form have lower speed and strength than it should have,and higher AC than it should have?

Vixe Vinweria

Aug 8, 2019, 3:34 pm Reply

All spells can be used at a higher level,even if they don't gain a benefit from it.

Vixe Vinweria

Aug 8, 2019, 4:10 pm Reply

If you have an attack you can use it to attempt a grapple. So Grog's frenzy bonus attack can be used to attempt a grapple.

White American Male

Aug 8, 2019, 11:32 pm Reply

Tiberius got kicked off because he wrestled the DM into submission, forcing him to say "I'm coo coo for cocoa puffs"

nathaniel walker

Aug 8, 2019, 12:04 pm Reply

1:22:39 wrong time to pause


Aug 8, 2019, 12:27 pm Reply

32:40 Man, I would probably be no better at making clever decisions on the spot, in front of thousands of viewers..But damn do they, in this case Sam/Scanlan, make some utterly idiotic choices 😀

The mission, was to start a fire, making a distraction. Scanlan does none of that, though he could easily have done so, if e.g. he had just lightning-bolted the perfect line of 8+ enemies, as it will set everything not worn of carried in it's path on fire! And why did the rest of the team not wait to attack?

I love watching Sam go solo, he is so fucking great! And I also had a severely hard time watching all the missed opportunities. I've said it before, Critical Role is fucking awesome! But they have a combined IQ of 60 sometimes when making decisions together, this time Scanlan managed to be a buffoon all on his own though.

How awesome was Sam and Liams 'Father and son act' in the previous episode though? Damn that shit was awesome! 😀

Jeffrey Hymas

Aug 8, 2019, 12:37 am Reply

This is easily the most frustrating episode so far. The team wastes a perfectly good plan and amazing rambo shenanigans by Scanlin by jumping the gun on their own attack nearly fucking the entire thing as Grog runs into a hail of arrows, and then Matt makes an infurating metagame call. They are here because of vampires. They have been told three times they turn into mist. They watched vampires materialize from and turn into mist, Marisha rolls a damn 17 int check, nope meta gaming because she wouldn't know it's a fucking vampire, then tries it a second time when literally the whole team has gone and told her its a fucking vampire. Love ya Matt, love the team, love the show, but this was so irritating to watch.

M Balazs

Aug 8, 2019, 3:02 pm Reply

50:00 this was awesome Scanlin is BOSS XD

M Balazs

Aug 8, 2019, 5:50 pm Reply

2:03:45 this expression 😀 tells it all "these are the luckiest bunch people" 😀

Z-nyx Kibishīdesu

Aug 8, 2019, 7:44 pm Reply



Aug 8, 2019, 7:08 pm Reply

Wonder how Matt feels about Henry cavill playing Geralt now…

Amanda D

Aug 8, 2019, 8:10 pm Reply

When Scanlan got stuck in the door and asked if he could back out of it all I could think of was "Yes, but the door gets an attack of opportunity" x'D


Aug 8, 2019, 4:14 am Reply

War is messy. Mercy is only affordable when you have complete victory.

Mohd Hazem

Aug 8, 2019, 3:53 pm Reply

Marisha calling Matt a dick while Taliesin and Travis are enjoying the innuendo, it truly doesn't get better than this.

Bryant Juarez

Aug 8, 2019, 9:18 pm Reply

When Keyleth is basically Tiberius

Dennis Moon

Sep 9, 2019, 1:39 pm Reply

No triceratops? I'm guessing by now Matt's prepared to recreate the entire Jurassic Park franchise

Ally Harle

Sep 9, 2019, 7:01 pm Reply

The Elder Scrolls music is too much, I get all my adrenaline going and can’t focus on the game lol


Sep 9, 2019, 10:40 pm Reply

It was during this episode that Sam realized his joke character was no joke.


Sep 9, 2019, 12:36 am Reply

People sometimes forget that Vax is an assassin with morals, then things like the end of this video happens.


Sep 9, 2019, 10:51 am Reply

Oh the wind wall. The damned windwall…

Alphtheo R.

Sep 9, 2019, 4:22 am Reply

If I was a triceratops in someone else's house, and I would definitely be killing them later, I would just start tearing through doors and wrecking the house until either I ran out of hit points, or until the house ran out of hit points…but scanlan did WAY better.

Ruben Pianegonda

Sep 9, 2019, 3:32 pm Reply

CR with morrowind soundtracks? That's like a wet dream of mine.

Claire Naughton

Sep 9, 2019, 6:40 am Reply

This whole Scanlan fight sequence is the most goddamn bonkers thing I have ever witnessed. I love Sam so much ?

David Official

Sep 9, 2019, 11:45 pm Reply

only scanlan

Steven Bonnell

Sep 9, 2019, 9:36 pm Reply

gets on his knees and shoves hand down Taliesin's pants and pulls out his throbbing member, putting it in my wet mouth


Sep 9, 2019, 12:35 pm Reply

Matt kinda pissed me off in this game, he tried wayyy too hard to save lord vampire guy. Even going so far as to acrew Marisha. Gotta say, disappointing early DM'ing here. Glad to see he gwts better about checking himself later on.


Sep 9, 2019, 3:59 pm Reply

I know their rules are slightly modified but what are their rules for grapple? All a grapple does is stop you from moving in 5e


Sep 9, 2019, 8:57 am Reply

I am sorry matt but how the hell would she NOT know that mist is from a dead vampire when she has experience this all ready a number of times. Not to mention she got a total of a 17 on the check WTF matt. Still love yea matt just disagree with you on this.


Sep 9, 2019, 7:37 pm Reply

2:00:00 LMAO at Laura's vs Travis' reactions when the violence has escalated

Terra Estrahl

Sep 9, 2019, 11:57 pm Reply

This is the episode where the skyrim music started playing. rip french horns you will be missed. Hello skyrim, baby


Sep 9, 2019, 2:39 am Reply

Vox Machina’s favorite enemy, the elderly. Vox Machina’s hardest, worst, least favorite of all time enemy, doors


Sep 9, 2019, 11:18 am Reply

I love how Travis perks up after Matt mentions that an enemy is a goliath.


Sep 9, 2019, 8:25 pm Reply

So Scanlan can jump a fence but can’t open a door

Lester Koh

Sep 9, 2019, 6:13 pm Reply

1:27:05 Matt owning up and apologising for a mistake he did despite being a DM in front of a camera showing hundreds or thousands of viewers at home really just boosts my respect for him. Like seriously, mad respect.

John Johnsin

Sep 9, 2019, 3:45 am Reply

2:11:05 – Vax jumps to my new favorite character. He was always up there, but holy feck, I am so glad he did that.


Sep 9, 2019, 3:13 am Reply

OMG! Fire breathing Scanlan was great! Love the yeeting of the Count off the roof with Bigby's Hand!

Paddlesaw Tactic

Sep 9, 2019, 8:56 am Reply

Scanlon's top tier plays keep making me freak out. I love it so much.


Sep 9, 2019, 11:45 am Reply

I love how a couple episodes back, Keyleth had this whole speech about not killing unarmed guys or guys running away and now she just sunbeams the guy who was pretty much surrendering?

Michael Mclellan

Sep 9, 2019, 2:39 am Reply

Lol I love Marisha and taliesins rick and morty reference

Michael Mclellan

Sep 9, 2019, 7:00 pm Reply

Keyleth a couple episodes ago: Tiberius why would you kill that old lady, she was scared and trying to run away
Keyleth now: completely incinerates a scared guard trying to run

Andrew Bailey

Sep 9, 2019, 2:03 am Reply

IF A FUCKING VAMPIRE MIST-FORMS, THAT'S A LOT OF MIST, MATT. Not "just a little bit of mist in between your friends who look like they were beating on something."

Geran Wiley

Sep 9, 2019, 1:09 pm Reply

Chain mail coif scapegoat ?

James McFadden

Sep 9, 2019, 2:45 am Reply

Without a doubt, Scanlan rocks!


Sep 9, 2019, 1:05 am Reply

I'm sorry, but I have to call it as I see it. After 31 weekly episodes of CR, Sam still doesn't know what his casting ability is, he doesn't know what half of his spells do or how to use them, and he completely missed the perfect lightning bolt opportunity! How does he get away with being a total fucking noob? I hate it when people who don't know what they're doing blindly succeed when they honestly shouldn't.

Lord Geno

Sep 9, 2019, 8:28 am Reply

God Keyleth is fucking retarded. A room full of soldiers, a little bit of “black mist” that ISNT FUCKING BLACK but she can never retain information she gets, and her allies aren’t choking, and she doesn’t attack the fuckton of soldiers, or heal the bear or anyone,…she makes fucking windwall….I would fucking lose it on her if I was there…


Sep 9, 2019, 8:52 am Reply

I can't wait to see that whole Scanlan sequence in animated form!


Sep 9, 2019, 8:49 am Reply

This episode is the one time i ever questioned any of matts rulings. Keyleth would have absolutely known that mist was a vampire, tyberius did research and found out for them that they turn into mist when defeated, they found out that there WERE indeed other vampires in the town, as well as the possibility that some of the nobles put in place by the briarwoods could be vampires, and to top it off the day before they JUST encountered vampires coming from mist underneath the sun tree. I am sorry but matt was 100% wrong in this. Keyleth metagames alot, but this was not one of those times.

Jacob Wiley

Sep 9, 2019, 3:44 pm Reply

I love how Marisha tries to be the "moral compass" and people wanna hold her as some messiah as it, however she kills people in the most out of character ways imaginable, sure disintegrate a surrendering enemy who appeared to be giving himself in your care and not suffer a alignment hit when you just vaporize his entire existence.

Zach Bitner

Sep 9, 2019, 11:49 pm Reply

Wow I said I would be happy to see a Witcher movie. I said that in the comments last episode

Shannon Blake

Sep 9, 2019, 4:22 am Reply

Aw cmon ? there's no way 1:42:41 was a coincidence.
"Trinket takes 3d8 bludgeoning damage" BUUMM


Sep 9, 2019, 7:29 pm Reply

Rather than fixating on some mist she coukd have tear down the foyer and stop that army from taking free shots for the rest of the encounter. They have no controller or tactician and still take a lot of time strategizing in metagame for no real difference.

sam pizarro

Oct 10, 2019, 2:25 am Reply



this battle needs to be animated asap


Oct 10, 2019, 9:56 am Reply

Really happy to see matt put down his foot with marisha's constant retconning of things she didn't like afterwards.


Oct 10, 2019, 2:11 am Reply

Scanlan is a true legend. One man wrecking crew!


Oct 10, 2019, 9:04 pm Reply

11/10 best episode

Alex Nelson

Oct 10, 2019, 2:54 pm Reply

As of beginning of October 2019 I am completely up to date on every CR episode and most of the one-shots, but this is still, by far, my favorite episode of this show # Scanbo


Oct 10, 2019, 5:31 am Reply

During the big fight after Keyleth puts up the Windwall, I'm surprised Liam didn't make a Yasuo joke, given that he voiced him.


Oct 10, 2019, 5:49 am Reply


John I

Oct 10, 2019, 11:32 am Reply

Grog takes 6 crossbow bolts to the chest.
Grog still has 85% of his HP left.

Patrick Donovan

Oct 10, 2019, 2:19 am Reply

…………Grog for President.


Oct 10, 2019, 10:31 pm Reply

I am so fucking ready for this episode to be animated.

White :.: Cherry

Oct 10, 2019, 5:17 pm Reply

The power of Scanlan, holy shit

Selim Tuncel

Oct 10, 2019, 2:55 am Reply

You can use spells at higher spell slots. Oh, them in their youths…ish.

Selim Tuncel

Oct 10, 2019, 3:30 am Reply

1:16:59 That small flinch of fear from Matt to his love.


Oct 10, 2019, 9:40 pm Reply

Who needs Netflix when there is Critical Role?

Patrick Van Der Plas

Oct 10, 2019, 7:46 pm Reply

Matthew dont you dare to apologize.. i had to correct my dm that a barbarian takes half damage when raged


Oct 10, 2019, 12:38 am Reply

Matt's face when Laura rolled her intimidation check was PRICELESS!!!

madison harper

Oct 10, 2019, 12:47 pm Reply

The dilemma Vex had about killing the men fleeing? Keyleth should have had. Vex showed how to respond and react when you’re a good character and truly don’t want to harm people who may not need it, only doing so when it’s necessary. Keyleth just…murdered a guy who was probably a paid guard just trying to make ends meet for his family — and at the very minimum a man who was no longer a threat.

will z

Oct 10, 2019, 12:50 pm Reply

1:16:55 shout out to tiberius

Josh Olsen

Oct 10, 2019, 9:26 pm Reply

"You have no idea that's a vampire, no reason to believe it's a vampire" bullllshit. You are in this town to fight vampires. You just fought some that came from mist. Someone warned you about the mist. You see mist. You know vampires use mist. It's not crazy to attack the mist. Making her roll Intelligence for that was incredibly stupid, and the fact that the DC wasn't like… 5 or something was just insulting.


Oct 10, 2019, 11:36 pm Reply

Rewatching and seeing how CR has grown in so many ways is so nice

Daniel McGillis

Oct 10, 2019, 4:41 am Reply

26:30 This voice needs to be in the animation. DM said he hears it in the back of his head. It's cannon.


Oct 10, 2019, 10:39 pm Reply

19:00 i would have had the dc of a triceratops charging a door be very low. like dc 5 or 10. it would be very easy to do

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