| by Kenneth Chase | 100 comments

George Carlin’s Top 10 Rules For Success

– And I quit school at ninth grade. I had great marks, I was a smart kid but I didn’t care. They weren’t teaching what I want. I didn’t give a (bleep). You it’s important in life
if you don’t give a (bleep). It can help you a lot. I’m an entertainer first and foremost. But there’s art involved here and an artist has an
obligation to be en route, to be going somewhere. There’s a journey involved. The verge of failure that we’re on is because two wonderful qualities
that made us a successful species, cooperation and competition, are way out of balance. We decided to quit radio
because we’ll go to Hollywood and become stars. – He was an American comedian, actor, social critic and author. He’s widely regarded as
one of the most important and influential stand-up
comedians of all time. He was known for his black comedy and his thoughts on psychology, politics, religion and various taboo subjects. He’s George Carlin and
here’s my take on his top 10 rules for success. Rule number one is my personal favorite and I’m curious to figure
out which one you guys like the best. Also as George is talking
if he says something really meaningful to you,
really moving or inspiring try to copy and paste it
into the comments below and put quotes around it so other people can be inspired as well. – [George] I was a
victim of my own success and I did some Ed Sullivan’s I hate. On those Ed Sullivan shows I began to realize not just there everywhere all these shows, I didn’t fit. And here’s what I was missing I was missing who I was. I began with a dream of being Danny Kaye which is a very mainstream dream it’s very Middle America. It’s a people pleaser job and I dreamed a path that was traditional comedian, a disc jockey comedian actor big success. A mainstream dream. Meanwhile what I really was was an outlaw and a rebel because I had lived there got that kind of life. I got kicked out of
three different schools. I got kicked out of the Air Force. I got kicked out of the choir. I got kicked out of the altar boys. I got kicked out of summer camp. I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts. And I quit school at ninth grade. I had great marks, I was smart kid, but I didn’t care. They weren’t teaching what I want. I didn’t give a (bleep). It’s important in life if
you don’t give a (bleep). It can help you a lot. So I didn’t give a (bleep) and I was this kind of I was
a pot smoker when I was 13. We broke the law, we broke
into cars, we broke into offices, we broke into
Columbia University, we broke into stores. We did all sorts of unlawful things. And I was that kind of person. I was one who swam against
the tide of what is expected and what is what the
establishment wants from us. But I didn’t know that about myself because this dream blinded me. This dream was about America
about the path that we all follow, the middle of the road, middle class America
mainstream will dream. And being (mumbling) while
I’m sitting there like this you know (bleep) those
people that (bleep). Look at this stupid (bleep). No I don’t want to be in the bunny number. Can I get out of the bunny number please. I don’t want to put on that uniform. You know and and and I didn’t know this dissonance was inside me and in the period this is happening all through the 60s the counterculture was forming, the Free Speech Movement
started in Berkeley, the hippies were growing into a force and peace, love, power, blow, flower power, pot smoking, anti-authorities. Ding ding ding ding ding. Anti-authority pro over the establishment burned down the math building. Wow ding ding ding ding ding ding. So I gravitated toward that because I was that person really and and the people I hung
around with were that way. The musicians I knew in the late 50s had gone through that transition suddenly they look different and
their music changed. And I’m listening to people
like the Buffalo Springfield, I’m listenening to Bob Dylan I’m listening to these
people there I realize these artists are using their talent to project their feelings and ideas. Not just please people. And I suddenly was able to see my place and to realize I was in the wrong place. You see in 1967 the Summer of Love, the peak of the hippie movement I was 30. I was entertaining people
in nightclubs who were 40. And they were at war with
their kids who were 20. There was a generation war. I was in the middle of it. I was 30, 20, 40 and I’m going what the
(bleep) am I doing over here? These are the people that
will at least understand me and give me a chance. So it took two years I didn’t go to the mountain and come back different. I didn’t do a button down I didn’t do a whatever you those people who just go away and
they’re back new suddenly. I took two years to change and it happened on television. So it was if I had I
denied that part of myself and finally it came into full flower. And I never became a really
big success until that. I probably had 200 television appearances by that time and I still wasn’t realized as a writer comedian as a comedian. By that I mean I hadn’t let myself grow into that and and I found out later I was more than just a comedian. This was a turning point in my life and it’s one that people
should know about. When I was a young boy I was a mimic and I could imitate
people in the neighborhood authority figures, teachers, shop owners, other parents, cops on the beat. And people on television,
I could do little imitations there were largely imitations of other people doing imitations. That’s how you learn to do Jimmy Cagney you see another guy do it on stage and you say oh, okay, and you copy him. It’s easier because they
point out the highlights of sweet but neighborhood stuff I I was kind of the class clown in this in school. And then after school I was
kind of like the neighborhood wiseguy one one of the
neighborhood wiseguys on the street corner. And I would gather a little
audience because I would put together little routines. I had little parodies that I did. I lifted things, everyone
steals from comedians when they’re starting. So I would steal imitations
in Humphrey Bogart and Jimmy Cagney and Peter Lorre. And I would do fake commercials that I had heard or read in Mad. Well Mad Comics came
along a little bit later there was another magazine
called Thousand Jokes and I put together little routines and and they would say,
“Georgie, hey Georgie “do that thing about such”
and I would stand up and do it and it would come out
differently each time. And I developed this ability to to stand up in front of a group of people and get their attention
and get their approval. That was important to me, apparently. When I was a little kid I’d
go to my mother’s office and I and she’d say, “Imitate Mae West. “Do the imitations, do the imitations.” And I would do the imitations
for the ladies in her office and they would laugh and I noticed I don’t remember noticing this per se but I must have noticed that this got me the attention of adults. ‘Cause don’t forget I was alone in that house most of the day when I wasn’t in school I came home and I was alone. I got the attention of these
adults and I got their approval through their laughter. They were more or less
saying good boy George, good going, way to go, yes he’s good, he’s cute, ain’t I cute, ain’t I clever. That’s what this job is. So as a youngster I
wanted to be a comedian I I was probably only eight
or nine or 10 years old when I began to form an idea
that I wanted to be in the movies like Danny Kaye
and like Red Skelton, and be and I call that being an actor but it was actually being a comedian. And pretty soon I found
out the word comedian and I want to be a comedian. And when I graduated from eighth grade the last thing I
graduated from by the way. (laughing) My mother asked me what I wanted and one of the brothers at school brother Conrad had told us that he can get a clergyman’s discount on cameras. So I asked him if he
could get a clergyman’s discount on tape recorders. Now this was five years
after the second world war tape recorders had come
out as consumer items but they were as big as a small Buick, they were large they were like this big. And you had to buy them in a showroom up up above the street they were announced a sale in stores. I bought this big Webcore
long story and I’m keeping it long that. (laughing) I used it I used it to do voices and do little sketches and skits and fake radio shows and fake
newscasts and commercials. And I used it to more or less train myself for the thing I wanted to do. My mother was very progressive to have bought me that as a graduation present. I mean it she was a far thinker to see that in me and go ahead and foster that and reward that. Even though she wanted
me she didn’t want me to follow it but she knew it was a healthy thing for me to be doing. – Why do you still care
enough to keep you’re at a point in your life where you could go back you could do your month in Vegas and Florence Henderson could
open up and you could go and hit a couple of balls
and then some pinball. Why you still care so much? – Well I’m not comparing
myself to any of these people believe me but you wouldn’t say to Picasso why are you going
to put those brushes down. Get rid of the canvas, you’ve done it. You know I’m an entertainer
first and foremost but there’s art involved
here and an artist has an obligation to be en route, to be going somewhere. There’s a journey involved
here and you don’t know where it is and that’s the fun. So you’re always going
to be seeking and looking and going and trying
to challenge yourself. So without sitting around thinking of that a lot it drives you and it and it keeps you trying to be fresh, trying to be new, trying
to call on yourself. Calling yourself a little more you know. Write everything down. You have to write you have to write write write write write write all your ideas down and classify them. My first boss when I was 18 told me that. He said, “Find a folder
put your ideas on paper. “Any idea you don’t
think you can use it now “if it seems useful put it down on paper “and then classify it because
good ideas that don’t mean “anything unless you can find them again.” Yeah you can’t go
through a pile of papers, 10 years old of notes. You have to now you can use a computer. I had before that I had
index cards and things. You have to be able to
find race, religion, business, government, politics, men and women, sex you know all the. And then those categories
you break them down into categories. So organize yourself. I think being on this planet one of the first things people would say if we were all dumped down here let us say there were only 10 of us. And we were dropping into this planet already formed one of the first things we would say what after a moment or two would be, “Is everybody okay? “Let’s get something to eat.” And that should be the first
thing any society says, “Is everybody okay? “Let’s get something to eat.” And we don’t because we have this private property thing, property, property rights over people’s rights. And I just think that
that competition got the upper hand over cooperation. This species was successful. – And that’s part of
the American experiment. – [George] No as part
of the human species. – The humans species. – The the verge of failure that we’re on is because two wonderful
qualities that made us a successful species,
cooperation and competition, are way out of balance now. Competition is everything. Cooperation happens after a flood happens for a few days
and everybody goes back. (crosstalk) Right, and we need we need to get that balance back if we can get that balance back there’s hope. – You’ve always been a planner. – Yeah.
– You had this operation. – Plans they call it. – This optimistic attitude that if you planned it well enough and you meant well it’s going to happen, you believe that? – Well I would only plan
things I felt you know that obviously that I
wanted and thought I was qualified for. But this is the good example
this career planning, when I was a kid I said
well first I’ll be first I’ll be, see I wanted to be an actor I called it actor because I saw them in the
movies and I knew they were movie actors. So Danny Kaye and these
guys I thought actor okay okay so first I’ll
be a stand-up comedian. And don’t forget when I
was a kid all the only place stand-up comedians
worked was nightclubs. Those kind of really more
or less sophisticated places where where you saw in
the movies you know and people danced and there was a singer and there was a comic. And and I never got into
those places I was too young and it wasn’t in my world. So I knew about comedians from radio and from television later but movies when I was a youngster. So I aimed at that and I thought well the way to get there would be to first become first get into radio, that would be my first move. Because then I could
practice using my voice and I could learn to speak and do a lot of these things without an audience directly in front of me. Which is the usual thing in radio. They’re not sitting in
the studio and therefore I wouldn’t be as nervous or afraid and I could kind of
build up my confidence. And then I could become
a stand-up comedian because by then there were further venues for comedians. And I thought then I can
be a stand-up comedian. And then I can go then if
I’m really good at that then they have to let me in the movies. And that was the way I looked at they had to let me in the movies. And that was the plan and
it became more sophisticated as I got went through 13, 14, 15 years and and started to actually think of ways to go about it. Don’t take no for an answer. If it’s if it’s not
working well that night it’s not you, it’s the audience. Blame it on the audience. Because if it worked on Friday night it ought to work on Saturday and if it doesn’t it’s their fault. It’s over simple but you
know what it works as a formula, just go on and
do the Sunday night show and forget Saturday night. Keep kicking them in the nuts. You got to have luck in this world, part of its your genetic
makeup, that’s luck. And then what you do with
it is also partly genetic because hard work is genetic. The desire to do hard work,
the willingness to work hard and be determined and not be said not be turned aside,
that’s all genetic too. It can be altered, it a little reinforced but some of the people who
who had so much edgy promise they died young I mean
Lenny Bruce, Sam Kinison, Andy Kaufman in his way. Freddie Prinze, John Belushi, Bill Hicks and it’s just I don’t know. Of course Bill had a
natural disorder of his own. I think so did Andy but but
it’s not always behavior. But sometimes it’s just genetic. (laughing) But it’s just that I think there’s a degree of luck and intellect involved in giving up
things that hurt you. That the drug and alcohol
thing it seems to me comes down to this, drugs and
these things are wonderful, they’re wonderful when you try them first they’re not around for all
these millennia for no reason. First time mostly
pleasure very little pain. Maybe a hangover. And as you increase and
keep using whatever it is the pleasure part decreases
and the pain part, the price you pay
increases until the balance is completely the other way
and it’s almost all pain and there’s hardly any pleasure. At that point you would hope then the intellect says, oh. Oh this doesn’t work anymore. (laughing)
I’m going to die. And I’ll do something. But you need people around
you who can help you and you need something to live for, you have to have something
to look forward to, to bring you out you know. There’s are a lot of people who don’t have a lot to live for and
they’re sort of stuck inside. I was out of a job for
a while and then I got called down to a Fort Worth where another guy from radio in Shreveport had moved on, a Sales Director. And he wanted me for their
station in Fort Worth so he brought me down there
so number one station. I got the homework
shift seven to midnight. Took all answered my own
phones, took all my own requests and dedications. And suddenly one day Jack
Byrnes showed up from Boston. He says he says, “I’m
going out to give Hollywood “one last chance at me.” That was his attitude which
is the way to look at things. And he his tires were bald so he luckily a news job had opened that day and he got that job and he
was my nighttime newsman. And you know the rest, we went
down to an after-hours comedy joint which was really a coffee house called The Cellar in Fort Worth. And we did impromptu sketches every night impromptu skits and two-man stuff. And it was so successful we left radio. We said screw this you
know we had great jobs we were making like 300, 400 a week. It’s 1960 and we’re in Fort Worth a good market and we could
have gone on from there but we decided to quit radio because we’ll go to
Hollywood and become stars. Because we have this filthy act that we did, filthy.
(laughing) It was just and those
days filthy comedy was not it didn’t have a market for it at all. And there we were how
naive but how wonderful when you’re in that age period to just get in my newly
bought Dodge Dart Pioneer (laughing)
with the tinted windows and the AM/FM radio and drive to Los Angeles on spec. You know on speculation. We had about $300 and
we got lucky out there we got lucky. I got lucky every time I turned around. – [Man] Well when you went out there you got a job at a club. – [George] Yeah we well no
what happened was this first we went out there and we
were looking to see how we could get into show business. We knew we had this act
we had written in the daytime we’d write stuff and learn. It’s terrible so we would go to places and look at other people
and we would hang around Dino’s on the strip and
figure Frank Sinatra might come in. We hung around the Brown Derby one night and Rock Hudson
came floating through. (laughing) You know we just we were
just using up our money. And one day we went back to the apartment and the rest of our money had been stolen out of a sock drawer. Good hiding place George. And we had no money. So we thought well gee we
hadn’t counted on that. And we had vowed not to
work just to go straight into show business. We didn’t want jobs none
of that bellhop stuff, none of that car hop, none of that stuff. Where we won’t go into radio out there. But what happened was the
only thing we knew was radio. And the only we really felt we should we deserved was radio. The biggest, the second
biggest market in the country. I mean it was sheer lunacy to expect to just get into that market. But we went (mumbling) we
went around we went first to KFWB number one in the
market, top 40 station. And they (mumbling) we didn’t have tape or anything, they didn’t want us you know. So we’re walking along
we see this radio station KDAY right near Hollywood and Vine. It’s actually it’s Selma and Vine between Sunset and Vine
and Hollywood and Vine. We walked in there and
that’s where my star on the walk is now out in Hollywood. – [Man] Really?
– I had them put it out in front of that radio
station it’s kind of nice. We went in there and they were looking for a morning comedy team . I mean it’s just all luck
you know you just get lucky and you’re on a roll. They were looking for guys like us.a We did a tape for them, they loved us, they called us the Wright
Brothers instead of our real names they called
us the Wright Brothers. But it did a big publicity campaign ads in variety full-color
ads and everything and put us on the air. And here we are on the air about let’s see it would only have been about two months after we got there. And it was just sheer madness
you know there we were. – [Man] That wasn’t good enough for you? – [Goerge] No no.
(laughing) What we did what we did
was still work on the act we’re going to work on the
act ’cause this is only a stepping stone you know. And now we’re making
about 500 a weekend each you know that’s good and we’re great. But we’re practicing this act after hours this was also a
daytime station by the way. Even though it was a
50,000 water and had a big signal out on the west coast, it was a day timer. And we went off the air at sundown and in the studio we would work on these routines we
were getting serious now. And nearby about two blocks
away was a coffee house that was the way for us to get in. They were now coffee houses,
it was the era of the beatniks and coffee houses
liked offbeat entertainment. And we knew we could get in there and and do our stuff for the owner maybe and get a shot just get a hootenanny shot. Get a single shot you know. And we went over there,
he liked us and he hired us for two weeks. And we’re still rehearsing
our act and a guy came walking through the studio
because it was an office building and you could see the studios on your left and there were little offices here. He was a song plugger, he
was a guy who used to do PR for songwriters and
stuff and record labels. And he saw us and he used to be the road manager for Rowan and Martin. And he says, “I think
you guys can make it.” You know so we gave him
he became our manager. We went in this little coffeehouse. They held us over for six weeks. Lenny Bruce came in and saw us. Mort Sahl came in and saw us. And based on that Mort, Lenny Bruce we got a contract with GAC one of the biggest
agencies in the country. They had New York offices,
Chicago and Beverly Hills offices and we got into nightclubs where we quit radio again. We quit, we said, “Sorry about that “we’ve got something to do.” And we went on and began a career that worked out very well. Two years together we
were on The Tonight Show with Jack Parr that October. We drove out of Shreveport in March we drove out of Shreveport in March and that October we were on NBC television at night on the biggest
show for a comedian. It’s just stupid you know man. (laughing)
But man it can happen. (applause)
It can happen. By the way, speaking of American values aren’t we about due to start
bombing some small country that only has a marginally
effective air force? (applause)
Seems to me like we’re a couple of weeks overdue to drop high explosives
on helpless civilians. People who have no argument
with us whatsoever. I think we ought to be
out there doing what we do best gang, making big holes
in other people’s countries. I hate to be repetitious
but God we are a warlike lot you know, we can’t stand not
to be (bleep) with somebody. We couldn’t wait for
that cold war to be over could we, just couldn’t wait
for that cold war to be over so we could go and play
with our toys in the sand. Go play with our toys in the sand. And when we’re not invading
some sovereign nation or setting it on fire from the air which is more fun, then we’re usually declaring
war on something here at home. Do you ever notice that we’d
love to do that, don’t we? We love to declare war on
things here in America. Anything we don’t like about ourselves we have to declare war on it. Don’t do anything about
it, we just declare war on. We got a war it’s the only
it’s the only metaphor we have in our public discourse
for solving a problem it’s called declaring a war. We got a war on poverty, the war on crime, war on litter, the war on
cancer, the war on drugs. But you ever notice there’s no war on homelessness is there? Nah no war on homelessness, you know why? There’s no money in that problem. (applause)
There’s no money in that problem. Nobody stands.
(applause) It’s true. Nobody stands to get
rich off of that problem. You can find a solution to homelessness with a corporate swine and the politicians could steal a couple
of million dollars each you’d see the streets of
America begin to clear up pretty goddamn quick,
I’ll guarantee you that. (applause)
I will guarantee you that.
(applause) So, I got an idea for homelesss and you know what you’re going to you’re not not going to do, give the homeless their own magazine. (laughing)
Give them their own magazine. It will make them feel
better for one thing. That’s a sure sign of
making it in this country. Every group in this country that makes it and arrives at a certain level has its own magazine. Give Working Mother magazine. Black Entrepreneur magazine Hispanic Business magazine. In fact any activity any
activity engaged in by more than four people in this country has got a magazine devoted to it.
(laughing) Skydiving, mountain
climbing, snowmobiling, backpacking, bungee jumping, duck hunting, shooting
someone in the asshole with a dart gun, they probably
have a magazine for that. Sure they have, I know
they have a magazine. Walking. Walking!
(laughing) There’s actually a
magazine called Walking. (applause) Look Dan, the new Walking is out. (laughing) Here’s a good article, putting one foot in front of the other. (laughing and applause) Getting their own magazine. Give them. Give the homeless their own magazine. You know what you call it? Better Crates and Cartons. (laughing) Then when they get finished reading it they can use it to line their clothing. That’s a good sound business solution. That’s kind of answer you
get from a conservative American business message,
yeah let them read it when they get finished reading they can use it to plug up the holes in them piano crates. They all seem to like to live in a good sound practical
conservative American business solution. I’ll tell you what they ought
to do about homelessness. First thing change the name of it. Change the name of the condition. It’s not homelessness,
it’s house lessness. It’s houses these people need. A home is an abstract idea. A home is a setting, it’s a state of mind. These people need houses, physical tangible structures. But where you going to put ’em? Where are you going to build ’em? Nobody wants you to build low-cost housing near their house. People don’t want it near them. We got something this country you’ve heard of it’s called NIMBY N-I-M-B-Y. Not in my backyard.
(laughing) People don’t want any kind of social help located anywhere near ’em. You try to open up a halfway house, try to open up a rehab
center for drugs or alcohol, try to build a little home
for some retarded people who want to work their
way into the community people say, “Not in my backyard.” People don’t want anything near especially if it might help somebody else. Part of the great American
spirit of generosity we’re always told about. (blows raspberry) (applause)
Big generous American nation. Ask an Indian about that. Ask an Indian how
generous this country is. If you can find one. You got to locate the Indian first. We’ve made them just a
little difficult to find. Or if you need current data
select the black family at random and ask them how
generous this country has been. People don’t want anything
near them even if it’s something we believe in. Something they think
society needs like prisons. Everybody wants that right everybody wants more prisons. That’s the new answer
to all of our problems. Lock a lot of (bleep) up.
(laughing) Everybody wants more prisons. Say, “Build more prisons!” But not here.
(laughing) Well why not? What’s wrong, what’s the problem, what’s wrong with having a
prison in your neighborhood? What seemed to me like
it would make it a pretty crime free area, don’t you think? You think a lot of crackheads and muggers and pimps and hookers
are going to hang around in front of a (bleep) prison? (laughing)
Boom (bleep) ain’t coming anywhere near it. What’s wrong with these people? All the criminals are
locked up behind the walls. If a couple of them do
break out what you think they’re going to do hang around? Check real estate trends. Oh (bleep) (whistles) that’s gone! That’s the whole idea of
breaking out of prison is to get the (bleep) as far
away as you possibly can. (laughing)
Not in my backyard. People don’t want anything near ’em except military bases. They don’t mind that, do they? No, they like that, give ’em an army base it makes them happy, why? Jobs, jobs. Self-interest. Even if the base is loaded
with nuclear weapons they don’t give a (bleep) They say, “Ah, I’ll
take a little radiation “if I can get a job.” Working people have been
(bleep) over so long in this country those
are the kind of decisions they’re left to make. I got just the place for low-cost housing. I have solved this problem. I know where we can build
housing for the homeless golf courses. (applause)
Perfect. Golf courses. Just what we need. Plenty of good land in nice neighborhoods. Land that is currently being wasted on a meaningless mindless activity engaged in primarily by
white well-to-do male businessmen who use the
game to get together to make deals to carve this country up a little finer among themselves. I am getting tired. (applause)
Really tired. (applause) I am getting tired of
these golfing (bleep) in their green pants
and their yellow pants and their orange pants and their precious little hats and their cute little golf carts. It is time to reclaim the
golf courses from the wealthy and turn them over the homeless. Golf is an arrogant elitist
game and it takes up entirely too much (bleep)
room in this country. (applause)
Too much (bleep) room in this country. (applause) It is it is an arrogant game
on its very design alone. Just the design of the
game speaks of arrogance. Think of how big a golf course is. The ball is that (bleep) big! What do these pinheaded pricks need with all that land? There are over 17,000
golf courses in America. They average over 150 acres apiece. That’s over three million acres, that’s 4,820 square miles. You could build two Rhode
Island’s and a Delaware for the homeless on the land currently devoted to this meaningless mindless arrogant elitist racist. (cheering)
Racist. There’s another thing, the only blacks you’ll find in country
clubs are carrying trays. And a boring game for boring people. Do you ever watch golf on television? It’s like watching flies (bleep). (applause) And a mindless game. Mindless. Think of the intellect. Think of the intellect
it must take to draw pleasure from this activity. Hitting a ball with a crooked stick and then walking after it! (laughing) And then hitting it again! (laughing) I say, “Pick it up asshole, “you’re lucky you found
the (bleep) thing.” (laughing) “Put it in your pocket
and go the (bleep) home!” “Go the (bleep) home.” No.
(applause) No chance of that happening. Dorko in the plaid knickers
is going to hit it again and walk some more. Let these rich (bleep)
play miniature golf. A lot of (bleep) windmill
for an hour and a half or so. See if there’s any real skill among them. Now I know there are
some people who play golf who don’t consider themselves rich. (bleep) ’em! And shame on them for engaging in an
arrogant elitist pastime. Hey here’s another place
we could put some low-cost housing, cemeteries. There’s another idea
whose time has passed. Saving all the dead people
in one part of town? What the hell kind of a
superstitious religious medieval bull (bleep) idea is that? Plow these mothers up, plow
them into the streams and rivers of America.
(applause) We need that phosphorus for farming. If we’re going to recycle
let’s get serious! – Thank you guys so much for watching. I made this video because
HHGoodFella asked me to. So if there’s a famous
entrepreneur that you want me to profile next leave it down in the comments below and
I’ll see what I can do. I’d also love to know
what of George Carlin said had the biggest impact on you and why. Which rule resonated the most with you. Leave it in the comments and
I will join in the discussion. Finally I want to give
a quick shout-out to Yousof Naderi, thank you so much for picking up a copy of my book. It really really really means a lot to me. For those of you watching
if you want to chance at a shout-out in a future video make sure to pick up a copy of the book
and email in your receipt so we can keep track. Thank you guys so much for watching. Continue to believe or
whatever your one word is. And I’ll see you soon


Evan Carmichael

May 5, 2017, 5:49 pm Reply

Check out my NEWEST video: https://goo.gl/E0eE6m

Ralphie Bones

Feb 2, 2019, 9:11 am Reply

I'd LOVE to hear what George would have to say about the current state of the world. He was so much more than a comedian. R.I.P.

Integrity Entropy

Feb 2, 2019, 6:02 pm Reply

#5 "Competition is everything, cooperation happens after a flood."

He his the nail on the money, and it's even more evident today, what with how the average person's values allow them to easily disrespect others just for personal amusement.

Cpt. Zombitron

Feb 2, 2019, 8:46 pm Reply

Good to see georgey boy is still getting censored

Robey Ganz

Feb 2, 2019, 1:27 pm Reply

G Carlin will always be the most insightful knowledgable no holds barred thinker , Orator, comedian.

Creative Videos 13

Feb 2, 2019, 6:21 pm Reply

2:14" it's important in life not to give a $hit "

Pancho Villa

Feb 2, 2019, 5:24 am Reply


David Ibershoff

Feb 2, 2019, 2:21 am Reply

I was doing this mans material in 5th grade at St. Henry's…got all his HBO shows on video. My lifelong idol! Thank you for this


Feb 2, 2019, 10:46 am Reply

ive always liked. ."I like to find where someones Line is, And deliberitly cross it"

Jazmine Wildflower

Mar 3, 2019, 4:20 am Reply

So thankful that I had access to HBO as a child and was exposed to Carlin at an early age. He was lightyears ahead of society! Still is quiet as it's kept.


Mar 3, 2019, 9:03 pm Reply

Great 10 Rules! Carlin was actually a friendly, realistic guy in normal, private life and smart enough to know killing yourself with chemicals is not the most productive thing one can do with their lives.

Wake Boarder

Mar 3, 2019, 8:11 am Reply

Wherr can I buy all of George stand ups?

Truth Seeker

Mar 3, 2019, 9:01 am Reply

"It's important in life if you don't give a shit!

mack river

Mar 3, 2019, 11:20 am Reply

G carlin for president and R pryor for vice in 2020 ,only a dream. but better. than what we have


Mar 3, 2019, 12:55 am Reply

That last act of this video he shows his arrogant elitist side. I work for low income housing and I can clearly understand why people would not want this in their back yards. Many of the people that live in these communities are completely lost and are irretrievable to a functioning society of others trying to cooperate with each other.


Mar 3, 2019, 2:29 am Reply

This man was the closest thing I ever had to a hero. We lost something special the day he died.

George _

Mar 3, 2019, 5:55 pm Reply

He is just not as funny censored.

notyouraverage person

Mar 3, 2019, 11:48 pm Reply

I like that he recognizes luck, and that your genetics are just that.

Son Brimmer

Mar 3, 2019, 4:55 pm Reply

"Give up things that hurt you". Thats a big one.

David Mills

Mar 3, 2019, 11:02 pm Reply

If there ever was a true god…..
It’s him.

John Curtis

Mar 3, 2019, 2:50 pm Reply

Cooperation and Competition. We're out of balance. Things are too competitive. BINGO! He nails it! Too bad he couldn't suggest a way out of the dilemma we're in, eh? So it goes…

James Fenton

Mar 3, 2019, 1:47 am Reply

"If were going to recycle, lets get serious".
Words to live by, nothing more profound than a wise guy growing old.

rich raymond

Mar 3, 2019, 4:47 pm Reply

He wasn't dark he was angry ,,,and he was angry becouse he cared

Andre Lima

Mar 3, 2019, 2:44 am Reply

Nice selection, but why removing the curse words from the videos? Do you think he would approve of that? I don't.

tommy davis

Mar 3, 2019, 3:18 am Reply

#10 is my favorite

Advaita63 Vedanta99

Mar 3, 2019, 9:21 am Reply

"What I really was…was an outlaw and a rebel."

Marc Turk

Mar 3, 2019, 8:08 am Reply

Modern day Socrates '


Mar 3, 2019, 2:21 am Reply

George Carlin. Frank Zappa

Gerard Rost

Mar 3, 2019, 8:17 pm Reply

Best 1: "There's no war on Homelessness". Simply 'cause there's no money in that kind of "business".

Heres Johnny

Mar 3, 2019, 2:40 pm Reply

Imo the greatest comedian ever. If only more people had his mind set.


Mar 3, 2019, 5:58 pm Reply

"Its all bullshit and it's all bad for you" …..the golden rule!

Sophia Chen

Mar 3, 2019, 9:00 pm Reply

Funny. I loved him. Observational humor. But gotta say it, a bit of a blowhard too.

Rich Clas

Apr 4, 2019, 12:35 am Reply

George may be the smartest guy ever. He certainly had it all figured out.

Anglo Bro

Apr 4, 2019, 4:20 pm Reply

"I was missing who I was".

Anglo Bro

Apr 4, 2019, 4:21 pm Reply

It's important in life to not give a shit.

Anglo Bro

Apr 4, 2019, 4:29 pm Reply

An artist has an obligation to be en route.

Amy Bork

Apr 4, 2019, 7:46 pm Reply

He was an absolute genius! There will never be another comedian like him. Comedy has died with him.

David Lewis

Apr 4, 2019, 9:11 am Reply

#5 cooperation & competition are way out of balance!

Freindly Cannuck

Apr 4, 2019, 11:38 am Reply

There's a man who didn't need an education past grade 9 cause whenever you see him, you are witnessing pure GENIUS. R.I.P. George!

Matari Sambia

Apr 4, 2019, 2:42 pm Reply

** The brain of comedy **

Gregor Bowen

Apr 4, 2019, 6:13 pm Reply

I have always wanted to be a comedian i need to "get organized and classify things"

Catherine Fraser

Apr 4, 2019, 2:01 am Reply

Language is the first act of cooperation and humour is the highway to greater understanding. There’s a trunk load of jokes that provide the map


Apr 4, 2019, 6:23 pm Reply

I began my my life as an independent young adult by being a typical woman. Listened to typical women in typical relationships. I was miserable for 20 years when I realized I wasn’t meant to be who I was trying to be and allowed myself to become my authentic self, than I became the happiest person.
I am about being free, happy , making people happy. I don’t believe in relationship drama stuff.
I got read of all the people who were far from all the beliefs I have about life.
Now waiting to find the right people who are as open minded, free and happy as I am. ❤️


Apr 4, 2019, 6:43 pm Reply

I’ve never felt better than allowing myself be my natural self.


Apr 4, 2019, 5:26 am Reply

George would be having a field day with all of the snowflakes now days. I miss George.

Curt Zygmond

Apr 4, 2019, 4:14 pm Reply

"Too much stuff…"

John M

Apr 4, 2019, 6:54 pm Reply

Agreed on the censorship that was a little ridiculous however your message we're still clear to me as far as what I took from it thank you for the video

Marlene Jones

Apr 4, 2019, 4:32 pm Reply

Sure recipe for FAILURE!!! Being a PARENT/PEOPLE PLEASER!! PLEASE GOD AND PLEASE YOURSELF!! I love George for saying It's important to learn " NOT TO GIVE A SHIT"
I care too much for people and that has been my DOWNFALL. People will EXPLOIT your kindness.Especially FINANCIALLY.

Dirt Doctor

Apr 4, 2019, 5:02 am Reply

TY George! RIP! I haven;t given a shit my whole life – now I'm old & still don't give a shit!

Jippo 0

Apr 4, 2019, 10:09 pm Reply

Carlin was a product of his times I know I grew up listening to Him

Jippo 0

Apr 4, 2019, 10:14 pm Reply

He invented his own degree program. Its called a living life with depth of thought degree!

Jippo 0

Apr 4, 2019, 10:14 pm Reply



Apr 4, 2019, 12:40 pm Reply

To those out there who are concerned about the censorship of the word shite I would like to point something out here. Lot's of parents out their don't like swear words being heard by their children. Your children – your choice. I am more than happy to have one little word bleeped out if children can still have the opportunity to hear the message. Go ahead and bleep out the little word. We all know what he is saying with it bleeped out or not. The more people that hear this kind of critical thinking the better. That includes children. Let's not leave them out because of the word shite. I think who ever put up this video perhaps considered this. I like to think so. I am all for freedom of speech but I am happy to compromise sometimes if it facilitates the message being heard.


Apr 4, 2019, 3:13 pm Reply

What if I told you the meaning of life was not an answer but a question?

Mary Heiman

Apr 4, 2019, 1:12 am Reply

Really find George carlin to be so intelligent used to think when I was younger that he was vulgar in his way he presented his ideas with filthy language but you get to a point sometimes in your life when I became cynical ,when you’re so tired of all the bullshit ,I wonder what he have to say today about trying to stay young looking young acting Young is like a sin to get old and there’s not a damn thing we can do about it

Mark Sampson

Apr 4, 2019, 3:11 pm Reply

"Is everybody OK? Let's get something to eat."

Mark Sampson

Apr 4, 2019, 3:27 pm Reply

"If you can find a solution to homelessness where the corporate swine and the politicians could steal a couple of million dollars each, you'd see the streets of America begin to clear up pretty gawd dam quick."

Jamil Sayegh

Apr 4, 2019, 8:59 pm Reply

Fuck the bleeps, carlin with bleeps is not a fun video to watch

Damon Gregory

Apr 4, 2019, 1:12 am Reply

He was a One of a Kind

Bif Webster

May 5, 2019, 4:17 am Reply

"They call it the 'American Dream' because you have to be asleep to believe it."

– God

Sean M. Robby Carlton-Appleton

May 5, 2019, 3:01 am Reply

"Give up things that hurt you."

Alyssa Powell

May 5, 2019, 8:09 pm Reply

I liked his idea of turning golf courses over to the homeless and his idea to tax churches (not mentioned in this video though). And I agree with him advising to 'find your place,' 'cooperate,' and 'give up things that hurt you.'


May 5, 2019, 3:14 pm Reply

When I was 18, I delivered George Carlin's Herald Examiner news paper from 1978 to 1980 in Pacific palisades, CA. He used to tip me $50 cash every new year while cheap ass Ronald Reagan who lived close to him not even a dollar! I had no idea who he was back then. He has had a big influence in my life to see the truth better. Great Man.

Donald Teuber

May 5, 2019, 6:35 am Reply

He was truly an equal opportunity offender… If you only listen to those you agree with, you will never grow intellectually. In addition to being a great observer of the social insanity… he was a great teacher… his lesson.. think. What a radical concept.

Tim Buttrum

May 5, 2019, 6:16 pm Reply

Dream then PLAN. George was a visionary with amazing clarity.
Love ya George


May 5, 2019, 12:19 pm Reply

First thing I hear when clicking a video with "Top 10 Rules For Success" in the title:

"And I quit school at 9th Grade…"

Oo boy, George.

Elber Galarga

May 5, 2019, 11:01 am Reply

27:40 Trump doesn't approve of those statements

Chameleon 99

May 5, 2019, 8:22 pm Reply

Speakers list as food for thought on more videos: 1.Ray Dalio (brilliant investor who recently started giving out advice like in his book "Principles", 2. Charles Icahn, creativity experts usually have good advice, Jim Carrey, previous leaders of India give brilliant pieces of advice, and Felix Dennis (undesirable character, but read his book many years ago and there are many solid pieces of advice in his millionaire-oriented book. Hope this helps!!

Chameleon 99

May 5, 2019, 8:23 pm Reply

Evan, Great work! Find more like Carlin!

Youtube Summer

May 5, 2019, 4:15 am Reply

Good Job , Evan!


Jun 6, 2019, 4:46 pm Reply

I loved it all but the golf talk is my thoughts exactly scary how much the same. Part from I'd build motocross tracks on some of them lol his is a fairer way lol ?

Francisco Javier Cerdà

Jun 6, 2019, 12:04 pm Reply

Thanks for sharing…censorship is never ok. Never. Please think of the reasons I said that.

Anthony Jackson

Jun 6, 2019, 12:37 pm Reply

This was a hard one. But I like speak from the heart

Jillian Smith

Jun 6, 2019, 1:43 pm Reply

His last book, "Last Words" or "Final Words" is awesome if you like George Carlin.  He tells much of what he says here in that book, and a whole lot more. 

SAD I can't remember the exact title.  HE would always memorize ALL his words!

Arnav Kamath

Jun 6, 2019, 10:41 pm Reply

"Bullshit is the glue holding this country together"

Paul Corcoran

Jun 6, 2019, 2:39 pm Reply

One of the best comedians of all time. Not just for the jokes but his observations on life. Great guy.

Scott Wolfinger

Jun 6, 2019, 2:30 pm Reply

A comedic genius…..glad to have had the chance to see him do what he did best. His political and societal sparring is dead on target today!!!

bobby midnite

Jun 6, 2019, 3:56 am Reply

A sharp observer and societal philosopher that happened to be wickedly funny. God, I miss him…!!!!

Robert Cavalier

Jun 6, 2019, 6:23 pm Reply

A brilliant man!  He had a knack to dismiss B.S. & hypocrisy.  The U.S.A. gave him that chance.  He took full advantage of the opportunities.  America enabled him & he lit up our lives with fun!  I hope we keep his audio-visual stuff for many years!  * Cav *

Kirk Goodman

Jun 6, 2019, 9:56 pm Reply

Great video, thanks for sharing one of the greatest comedians of all times. The ones u left off is 7 words u can't say on TV & the difference between football & baseball. If ur gonna post them, please let me know. Thanks

norm bissonnette

Jun 6, 2019, 1:14 am Reply

Some years back , a guy at work asked me if I golf . I told him the only thing I can do with a golf club is breaking windshields . I was never asked again .

Brandon Jones

Jun 6, 2019, 1:43 am Reply

Most of this mans comedy bits were beyond true even today


Jun 6, 2019, 2:24 pm Reply

Took me awhile to recognize Jon Stewart.

Anony Mouse

Jun 6, 2019, 6:40 pm Reply

RIP my most important hero!

Pepper Real-robot

Jun 6, 2019, 6:33 pm Reply

the same stuff over and over…


Jun 6, 2019, 5:23 am Reply

He'd been preparing and perfecting his art from the time he was a child. Amazing.


Jun 6, 2019, 6:04 am Reply

#8. I was making that realization while drinking my ninth beer and smoking and regretting a decision I made earlier in the day. Totally unexpected but necessary to hear Carlin say what he did in that particular moment.

Lydia Reymer

Jun 6, 2019, 12:48 pm Reply


Lydia Reymer

Jun 6, 2019, 1:02 pm Reply

"COMPETITION GOT THE UPPER HAND OF COOPERATION" says it all for me!! … I consider George, whom I've met, FAMILY ?… HE'S MY ALL TIME HERO????????????❤Love you George… No one can take your place.. No one!!! R. I. P✌??

Carl Carlson

Jun 6, 2019, 11:54 am Reply

was zip until Lenny Bruce / the light went on in his window

Christos Karsanidis

Jun 6, 2019, 11:59 am Reply

708 dislikes because you censored George fuckin Carlin i guess.

One Wheel Appeal

Jun 6, 2019, 2:37 pm Reply

"My penis is amazing you won't know until you taste it"

Tim Reagan

Jun 6, 2019, 4:50 pm Reply

#8… When you are alone……….

K Barrett

Jun 6, 2019, 9:25 am Reply

"We have political leaders to give us the illusion that we have a choice, we don't have a choice, we have owners."
Unfortunately he was a useful idiot.

Ever Hernandez

Jun 6, 2019, 8:26 pm Reply

thank you for making this grand video ☺


Jun 6, 2019, 9:06 pm Reply

I have been watching and listening to George since he began his career, I have admired and agreed with most of the things he has said in his " comedy " acts. Most of what George talked about was religon/people/politics or other topics, George was serious about the things he talked about but the special way he delivered his messages made it humorous. He was my absolute favorite comedian and I'm happy to have lived while he lived. R.I.P. George , Thank you.

Avram Andrei

Jun 6, 2019, 4:51 am Reply

Are you serios? Youtube recommends me this video only now?

Ingrid Matinez

Jul 7, 2019, 10:46 pm Reply

* You could make religion out of this *

Rantes James Escher

Jul 7, 2019, 10:51 pm Reply

My favorite quote by him and one of my all-time favorites that I still live by today is "It's important in life you don't give a shit, it can really help you out a-lot.". Basically what that means to me is that you live based on what you think about yourself and not what others think about you because "Nobody can figure me out but me.", which is another one of my favorites by him.

Walter Edom

Jul 7, 2019, 5:56 pm Reply

George is a rare person who says exactly what he thinks despite others opinions – he has balls (not many people do these days)

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